


Second Chance Shelter

by Jane_Bond



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Complete, Emma leaves, F/F, Misunderstandings, Regina is left behind, Ruby is awesome, Snow is a petulant brat, Universe Alterations, Very Mills & Boon kind of thing, hurt Regina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9080125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jane_Bond/pseuds/Jane_Bond
Summary: Emma, the girl who grew up, escaped Storybrooke as soon as the curse broke to go see the world. Behind, she left a town that doesn’t change, her speak-in-bumper-sticker parents and Regina. Now, she is being summoned home due to impending disaster and she must deal with all that was left behind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written back in late 2014 but somehow, it was left unattended in a hard drive and in an email inbox just there, gathering dust. Life being what it is, it never got around to being betaed, so, apologies- profuse, heartfelt apologies for all the mistakes you are about to find. Alas, I find it hard to self edit. 
> 
> Also, because this is important, I blame my sister for this: we were browsing through my old bookshelves at home and she found, hidden behind all the nicely academic and high brow tittles a bunch of Mills and Boon (if you don’t know what that is, good for you, don’t go looking. If you do, well... it happens in the best families, you know?) So the brat issued a challenge on whether or not I could write such a story about our two ladies being them the rules that there had to be long lost loves, misunderstandings and jealousy... you know, the staple of good literature.
> 
> What could ever go wrong?

**Chapter 1**

Fact: The bartender was a moron and his tool was doing all the thinking for him.

Fact: The bartender was not blind. If she had to choose between herself and the Kerry Washington lookalike the bartender was focusing on, she would definitely choose the Kerry lookalike too. She was drop dead gorgeous.

Fact: Emma was anxious, rattled, she needed a drink, and she needed it fast.

Emma set her phone on the shinny counter and discretely waved her fingers. A brief pulse of magic warmed her and _presto_! Tool bartender walked away from Kerry Washington and focused on her. Got her a beer on the house too while she was at it. It made her feel marginally better.

Also a fact: It was going to take more than one beer to ignore her mother’s reasonable tone this time around. She sighed as she sloowly peeled the label of the beer bottle, slowly, painstakingly. The bartender, still under the harmless little spell was now showering her with attention and it was distracting and unwanted. She was brooding. She wanted time to brood. She liked her sulk uninterrupted. The Kerry Washington lookalike threw her a smile and motioned to get up from her chair and join her. Emma knew fairly well how it would go from here on in. And though at some other time she might be glad for the distraction, today… just no. She had too much on her mind: her mother and her dad. Regina. Regina alone filled it, took over her brain. She waved her fingers gently and the woman turned back to her drink. Sometimes she felt bad. She did. Magic was such a cop out.

“Nice. Living in civilisation hasn’t spoiled you.”

Emma’s back went ramrod straight. Well, crap, her past had just caught up with her. “Ruby!”

Ruby Lucas slithered onto the stool next to Emma, a movement so fluid she could be made of water. “You were trying to hide.”

“No…”

“Huh…” Ruby made a show of sniffing the air around Emma. Behind them, Kerry Washington looked on in excited interest. “That’s why you apparently soaked in perfume for the last 24 hours. We both know you’re not the Chanel wearing type.” She looked back to woman behind them, still keenly interested in Ruby’s every sinuous movement. “You’re doing your best to hide your scent from me… naughty!”

“It’s not Chanel...”

“No, kid, it’s not.” The scrunch of Ruby’s nose made it very clear her opinion on Emma's perfume choice. Then, she got distracted. She bumped Emma’s shoulder snapping Emma out of her brood.  “Is that Kerry Washington?” Because, of course, whenever life gave Emma lemons, Ruby would make Whiskey Sour.

“Sadly, no.”

Ruby nodded sagely before waving at the woman behind her and doing something perfectly wicked with her tongue against her teeth and lips that made the woman squirm in her seat and stand to move towards them. Whiskey Sour every damned time. _Oh no, you don’t. You have somewhere else to be. Urgent._ Emma subtly input the thought in the woman’s head. The purpose was to get rid of Ruby not to showcase the delights of Boston and give her reasons to stick around.

“Hey!” Ruby complained while the other woman walked away from the bar in a rush and a fogy expression in her eyes. She drank from Emma’s beer and oddly resigned, sat quietly in her stool. “You could have made her wait at a reasonable distance.”

“She’s not a puppy, Ruby. I’m sure she has better things to do.”

“Well, she has now thanks to you… Spoil sport.”

“Ruby! This is my day off. Spit it out. Or better yet, walk away.”

“You know perfectly well what I’m here to say.”

“And the reply is still the same. And that would be a _No, fuck you very much_.”

“Emma, your mother needs you. Your dad. The shelter. They need help.”

“Ruby, no one needs me in Storybrooke. I thought we had established, long ago, that I’m no saviour. This whole prophecy business was one huge misunderstanding. Besides… everybody sorts all of life’s little dramas with a helping of magic. You know mine is… patchy at best. I’m sure someone else can see to the problem.”

“Jesus, Emma, forget about the prophecy. You got your head so far up your anus you can’t hear anything around you. Your parents need you. Not your stupid saviour ass, but _you_. Their daughter. Your parents need a reality check. Your mom needs a talking to and your dad needs help with the books if he even had any for that shelter of theirs. They could use a hand around the place, too, you know?  Haven’t you run out of world to see yet?”

“I haven’t run out of memories of Storybrooke to want to voluntarily go back.”

Ruby took it upon herself to finish peeling the label on Emma’s beer bottle. “Was it really that bad?”

Emma snapped the bottle back and took a violent swig of her beer. “Yes.” The bottle hit the bar with a thud that reverberated ominously through Emma’s fingers.

“Emma, you are loved. Your mother is Snow Goddamned White, your dad is Prince Freaking Charming and you are a princess, for pity sake. You have magic in you! How many girls dream about that? What’s so wrong with that?”

“Keep your voice down!” Emma admonished. “All I ever wanted was to have regular parents. The kind that are not royalty; the kind that don’t speak to birds or run around with a sword in his hand at the drop of a hat. All I ever wanted was parents that would grow old. Tell me, Ruby, did my mom change at all since the day I was born?” Emma did not wait for the reply. She knew the answer like an old song: no. Time had not moved in Storybrooke. Not for anyone else but her. “Do you know what it felt like to be me? To be the kid that grew up? The only person that time touched? I was a freak! I had to change friends every year to keep up with the age gap. It was lonely.”

“You had Regina.”

“Don’t!” Emma almost screamed. “Just don’t! I’m normal here. I like it here. I like it that when a toaster breaks you have to buy a new one and that when a car breaks down you have to take it to the body shop. I like it that people hate their jobs and hate Mondays and no one breaks out in happy work songs. That’s not natural.”

“You are so full of it, _Princess_!” For a moment, Ruby’s eyes went dangerously narrow reminding Emma that behind the sassy outfit was a truly formidable creature of the moon. “You sort all your little aggravations with magic. Your coffee is cold? Snap your fingers. The guy you’re chasing got a head start? A handy pothole will trip him over. The bartender forgot about you? Wiggle your fingers… Isn’t that the magic you despise so much? Bull. You’re full of it.”

“I’m no saviour, Ruby. Whatever their problem is, I guarantee I can’t fix it.”

“No, maybe not. But you’re a daughter and your parents’ animal shelter is in trouble. You need to come and help.”

“I’ll send some money.” Emma peeled yet another strip of the bottle label.

“Money is not the issue, Emma.” Ruby snatched the bottle in a way that said that Reasonable Ruby had left the building. “They are about to lose that stupid, money pit, shelter of theirs and your mother and father talk about nothing else but how you’re going to come back and everything is going to be okay.”

“Yeah? Well, then they better grow the hell up.”

“Emma, they are heartbroken. You may not see it, you may not believe it but they are heartbroken. You’ve abandoned them.”

Emma pushed her hair back viciously. “I’m just going to disappoint them again. I can’t magic any solution for that.”

 “So you’re just going to sit here and do it from a distance? Be a daughter and go home, Emma, give them a shoulder to cry on if that’s what it comes to. And face up to Regina and what you left behind. Some stuff you can’t sort with money.”

“I’m not going... I can’t go...”

“Take a holiday. Go see your mom. Go be a decent human being.”

“I can’t take a holiday now, Ruby!” Emma whined.

“I’m sure you can magic a good reason, Princess.” Ruby stood with that fluid grace of hers and slapped a bill on the counter. “Your beer is on me. Just don’t mess with Kerry Washington any more. I think I have a chance and I’d really like to get to know her better.”

…   …   …

The beer she’d been craving all afternoon suddenly tasted like rusty metal after her conversation with Ruby. The pizza she ordered that night tasted like ash and she couldn’t sleep. Unwilling to admit defeat so early in the game, she got up and settled in comfortably for a round at Assassins Creed. Shooting at things always made her feel better but this time around, her head was not in the game. She got her ass handed over to her by, probably, some pre-teen on-line and it smarted. And it didn’t sort her problem.

Her avatar stood there on the screen, accusing her silently of being a bad daughter. “What are you lookin’ at?” It was bad when her avatar turned on the accusing glare. It was really bad.

With the screen still on, she leaned back and closed her eyes. Deliberately, she controlled her breathing, deeps breaths, in and out. The urge to pack up and go _there_ would pass. Just like the nausea.

It had to.

…    …   …

It was definitely an out of body experience. There she was in her flannel lounge pants, thick socks and oversized sweater, in the middle of Main Street looking at her younger self- she was some ten years old- looking thoroughly miserable. She remembered that day. She had run away from home only to find that there was no leaving Storybrooke. The town line was thin air but as insurmountable as a concrete wall. She hated it all. She hated the way they all looked at her as if she was the answer to each and every problem they had. It had been that way since the day she was born and the Evil Queen’s curse had brought them all to this town.

She saw a familiar figure strutting down the empty street and recognised it immediately as much from her memory of that day as from all the memories that still made her knees wobble. Her younger self stood perfectly immobile in the middle of the fog rolling in from the Atlantic watching the Evil Queen turned mayor approach her. Her mother had told her many times to avoid the witch but she felt the rebel in her raise its head. She had stood there and waited. The Evil Queen had looked at her as if she had been a bug to be squashed. Emma had been thoroughly unimpressed by the glare in the brown eyes: the queen could not hurt her anymore than she could leave Storybrooke. The curse had trapped Emma in that town but had also covered her in a protective shield. The Queen could do nothing.

“You should be home, little bandit.” The Mayor had taunted.

“And you should have cast a better curse.” Ten year old Emma had riposted.

There had been something unreadable in the Mayor’s face to Emma’s ten year old self but that grown up Emma could interpret far better: a mix of anger and hate and fascination and longing. Young Emma had probably been the first person to ever dare the Mayor. Then again, she was the only one truly protected by the curse. Everything else had been a sort of hiatus for everyone, a status quo that neither the townsfolk nor the Queen could change.

“Oh?” The Mayor’s lips formed a juicy red, impressively scary _O_.

“I hate this town. And your curse doesn’t let anyone in or out.” Emma replied unimpressed.

“I’m told that you’re the one who will break it. Are you in a hurry to leave?” The Mayor asked closing her coat tighter around her form, suddenly chilled.

“Yeah! And then I’m gonna get out of here and you can keep your stupid town all to yourself.”

“Why are you so desperate to leave?” The Queen queried, tilting her head to the side in keen interest.

“Because I want to see the world outside! There is a lot of world and I want to see it for myself. I want to be… normal.”

The Mayor had taken a slight step back and taken in Emma’s shape, skinny in her jeans and shirt, hair mussed and unruly, so childish in her white socks and mary janes.

Yes, grownup Emma thought, it was longing that she saw in Regina’s face and all these years after the event, she would have sworn that it was a longing for that outside world that Emma spoke so freely of. The Mayor had walked away and Emma had stubbornly stood there in the middle of the street until her father had come charging in, riding Gofredo, the horse her mother spoke to every day, to save her as if she had been about to be devoured by a dragon.

…   …   …

Her avatar was still nodding sagely at her from the screen when she woke up. Emma had a sudden impulse to challenge it for a fist fight. She settled for switching off the game and screen and moving to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. Viciously, she rubbed at her face trying to push away the dregs of the dream or whatever that had been but it was proving impossible. She hated remembering. She hated it with a passion. And yet, every memory seemed to be coming at her from a super frequency radio that she just could not tune out or switch off. She remembered growing up to be eighteen and her parents looking just about the same age as she was. She remembered magic lessons with the fairies and how poorly she had done at those, how she had become a disappointment for all those involved in her magical education. And most of all, she remembered how Regina was the only one not worshiping at her feet, praying for her to “come into her own”. In the end, it was inevitable.

She had been carving out a reputation as a troublemaker, and one fine evening she had jumped Regina’s garden fence with the firm intention of causing damage, some sort of payback for this inescapable prison the Queen had created for them.

She had walked in on Regina sitting in the moonlight under an apple tree, looking like one of those movie stars Emma so wanted to meet. Emma had been caught between childish impulse to lash out at the woman that had, effectively, created this hell for her from which she couldn’t escape and something that started low grade in the pit of her belly, something more grown up, a sudden desire to kiss the woman, to wrap herself around her and not let go. She picked up the first thing she found- a ripe apple, wet from the night’s dew- and aimed it at the mayor.

The apple froze mid air and, on command, exploded. Emma gasped and suddenly Regina materialised, looming over her. “You shouldn’t be so reckless with your life, Princess.”

“How did you…”

“You are not as stealthy as you think, dear.”

“What are going to do?”

“Kill you, I think.” The Evil Queen smirked at her as if she was trying to decide on the most appetising way to start dismembering Emma.

“You’re lying.” And they had this entente that meant neither lied to the other. It was all about the ugly truth. Always the truth. “You never lied to me until now. Why?” And that was a certainty in her  bones, in her heart. The Mayor was not going to kill her. She looked like she might slap her silly or punch her in the face, but no, the killing was a lie.

“Queen’s don’t lie.”

“I‘d know if you’re telling the truth. I always know when you’re telling the truth. You’re lying. “

“You’re a child, princess. You’re too innocent. Don’t you know who I am? I am the Evil Queen. You should be afraid. You should be very afraid.”

A little. She had been a little afraid. But the teenager that she was had taken it as a challenge. Emma was not afraid of anything. In the frisson of fear and excitement, she had decided was going to kiss the Mayor. Right there and then.

Her first kiss. Ever.

And it was good. Feisty and clumsy and wet and rushed, but so good.

It was the best thing ever, all tongue and teeth. All thundering heart. All of it both of them.

“I am not innocent!” She shot as she left the Mayor petrified in the middle of her darkened garden, a pulse of magic haloing out from her.

…   …   …

Shaking off the memories like a chill, Emma groaned into her hands and managed to spill the coffee she was still brooding over in the morning. Even thinking of Regina brought out the klutz in her. She couldn’t go back. She just couldn’t.

Which of course meant that she didn’t pack more than an overnight bag into the bug and set out towards Storybrooke, Maine.

She was so fucked. She hoped the Kerry Washington lookalike would turn out to be a bunny boiler. Or at the very least, give Ruby the STD of a lifetime.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

With each mile clocked by the odometer, Emma’s heart shrunk a little more. This was a mistake of epic proportions. She was going to have to deal with her parents and their disappointment, the whole town and their disappointment. Most of all, she was going to have to face Regina. And probably disappointment did not begin to cover what the woman felt about her.

She stopped by a roadside café and sat on the hood of the bug for a little procrastination. She reasoned that she was entitled to it and that there was no mad rush. No one was ill and she needed to psyche herself into doing this, into going back to her past. But as she crossed her legs over the sturdy yellow metal she had a sudden urge to throw up.

…   …   …

“What’s this?” Emma queried as Regina handed her a small box tied with a pink silk ribbon. “You know that I don’t do pink.” She fretted as she picked at ribbon and delayed the moment of opening the box. It looked a lot like engagement ring boxes on TV and she had a sudden panic that Regina might be proposing. It was stupid, really, because they were not even dating, they’d kissed fervently a couple of times, fought a lot but nothing further. Regina had kept her at arm’s length, probably because she was so much younger but, even more likely, because if with their first kiss Emma had taken a chip at the Evil Queen’s Curse, cracking it loudly and visibly, who knew what might happen if they actually did anything more than that. Well, that and the fact that and she was Snow White’s daughter which was no small tick on the cons list.

Besides, Emma decided, she did not want to get married. Marrying anyone meant she was signing off her freedom, that she would never leave Storybrooke. No, she could not get married. Not even to Regina. Especially not Regina.  As it turned out, Regina was not the only one keeping her distance.

“Oh, for the love of all that is holy, Emma, just open it. It’s not a ring.”

Embarrassed, and not a little mortified for the insipient hurt she saw in Regina’s eyes, Emma opened the box and a car key in a silver keychain glinted at her. “A car? You’re giving me a car?”

“I heard from good source you passed your driver’s test.”

“You’re giving me a car… My mom is going to have a heart attack.” Emma stared at the key and then Regina.

“I know…” Regina smiled wickedly.

“Can I see it?” Emma stood from where she’d been sitting crossed legged on the grass of Regina’s garden.

Regina stood. “Before you get too excited…”

“Stop it. Don’t ruin the moment by telling me to be careful. My mom and dad will have a field day with that.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.” Regina opened the garage door and stepped inside ahead of Emma.

“There is nothing you can say that will ruin it, then.” But she stopped short as Regina revealed her gift.

“Wow… it’s…”

Regina waited patiently. She tried not to second guess herself but it was hard looking at Emma’s face where disappointment was so clearly written. “It’s not new and shinny…”

“No kidding…” Emma looked at the key and keychain – was that a swan? – and clutched it fiercely in her hand.

“You don’t like it…”  Emma had the good sense of remaining quiet. No, she was not crazy about the yellow rusty heap in Regina’s garage. But somehow, she could see potential in there. She liked the potential. She was just not sure how to realise it. “It’s a strong, sturdy car Emma. A lot of strong metal between you and danger. There is a good engine in there. I thought maybe we could fix it together… If you want…”

The old yellow Volkswagen was the gift she had never realised she needed. Not just because it was a car and it was hers but because, for the first time, she could actually fix something. She was good at fixing it. She spent inordinate amounts of time in Regina’s garage, the two of them tinkering with it, replacing oil filters and tires and brake pads, cleaning and polishing and spray painting it until the rust was but a memory and the car looked shinny and new. It was also during that time that she picked up the true basics of magic the fairies had been trying to teach her all her life: distracted with the parts and the mechanics of the car, she would switch on lights or summon tools, clean up spills all without noticing. The latent magic in her came easy when she was distracted.

When she was with Regina.

…   …   …

Emma finished her coffee and sat behind the wheel.

What did it say about her that she was going back in the same car Regina had given her, rebuilt with her so many years ago?

She owed Regina an apology.

She just didn’t know how to go about it, having behaved so badly. But when the time had come to leave, she hadn’t looked back. Not truly, not really.

…   …   …

It was not like they were _a thing_.

No, it was too complicated for that. Emma was Snow White’s daughter. Emma was the Saviour of the prophecy. Regina had known that and had still allowed the kiss the broke her curse. It was more than that, however. She was keenly aware that Emma was the child that she had seen growing up in the streets of her town. Little Emma that had never fitted in with the crowd. She saw the desire to leave Storybrooke behind. She knew it because she had seen its equal in the mirror so many years ago.

In her heart, she knew she had lost already to the outside world.

She gave Emma the car on her eighteenth birthday. She had hoped against hope- for reasons she couldn’t admit even to herself- to show Emma that there was a space for her here, in Storybrooke. She watched with pride as Emma used her magic, as she rebuilt that car. But in the fabric of her soul, she knew that Emma would leave. It was in her eyes, in the way her steps bounced off the earth as if they didn’t belong here. Emma would fly away. And Regina had gifted her the wings that would take her away.

After a particularly nasty argument with Snow, Emma sought refuge in her garage as if the car had still been there and not already roaming the streets when Emma was up to no good. So Regina cooked them a meal and served it in the garage, surrounded by candles, a glass of wine and dessert. When Emma tried, like she always did, to deepen the kiss, Regina responded with a fervour of her own then took her hand and showed her to the bedroom.

Quickly the caresses became demands and the soft sighs became ragged breaths and desperate moans.

Regina knew not to wish for the impossible. She knew not to wish for Emma to stay. What was the point in wishing? She committed every detail to memory and promised herself she would never forget that night.

When she woke up, still dark out, Emma had left. The only mark of her presence was the dip on the pillow where her head had lain. The first time they had made love had also been the last.

And it had broken what was left of the curse opening the barrier that kept the town segregated from the world and Emma had driven through it without looking back.

…   …   …

The yellow Volkswagen rolled into the wet streets of Storybrooke. Emma took a moment to settle right at the crossroads under the hanging traffic light. Nothing had changed. The clock tower was still broken. It had read 8.15 since the day she was born and the curse was cast. The night the curse had taken that first blow, Emma had left Regina standing in the middle of her darkened, apple-smelling garden. As she ran, panic stricken, guilty, she had hidden in the clock tower. Anxiously, she had listened for the clock mechanism. She had imagined that the curse breaking would mean everything would change. Everybody in town had believed they would go back home when the curse broke- when _she_ broke the curse.  But the clock hadn’t moved and they hadn’t returned to the Enchanted Forest. Everything had remained the same.

That day, Emma did her very first- and last- saving as the mob sharpened the pitchforks to go after the Queen, figuring the strange détente over. Emma had come out of her hiding to run and stand between them. It had confused the mob- and her parents. It had confused her. Emma had not thought of herself as feeling anything in particular for the Queen but the one thing she was certain of was that no harm would come to her.

…   …   …

The chill of the night brought her back to the present. In the background, Emma could hear the waves rolling and crashing into the shore, as inevitable as her return. She sighed. With her eyes closed, she could see every single road, every street, every door. And the path her mind walked was not to her parents’ apartment or the Second Chance Shelter but to Regina’s home.

A dog bounded out of the darkness towards her and wagged its tail.  It was Pongo, still as frozen in time as everybody else, which meant Dr Hopper was not far behind. Great! She could start her visit by getting her head examined. Her first impulse was to hide, abandon the bug and just vanish but Dr Hopper was already calling her name and greeting her warmly as if she had been his own daughter.

They exchanged pleasantries, nothing too loaded though she sensed relief in his countenance. The dog gave a plaintive sound and then bounded off. Awkwardly, Dr Hopper bid her goodnight and followed his dog as if he had been the one on a lead.

No, nothing ever changed.

Emma battled the nausea and got into the car. She could do this. She could see her parents and visit this ass of the world and then go back to her life. Nothing had to change. People did that all the time. They went back to the sticks where they’d sprung from and then returned to real life.

Fortified by the thought, she got the car into gear and drove the whole of the three minutes until she parked by her parents’ building.

This was it. Deep breath Emma, it’s just for two days.

…  …   …

“Oh, I knew you would come. You will always come when we need you!” Snow gushed and Emma shrunk into her red jacket. Yes, yes, yes. She would always come and her parents would always find each other and there was a silver lining. It was very much possible to throw up in your own mouth. Besides, it wasn’t even remotely true. She had spent the last eleven years ensuring that.

If her mother had been a portly matron of at least fifty, then the whole fussing over her and her nearly non-exiting luggage and the tears and the mild recrimination for eleven years away from home would not have been this out of place. But her mother looked all of twenty-five years old at best with her pixie cut and school girl general look and her father looked like a Calvin Klein billboard ad and it was just disconcerting, even for her. She loved her parents, she did. But they just didn’t look the part. And eleven years without seeing them just made it worse. In about ten years she’d be looking like their mother…

“How did you know I was coming?” Emma asked as, clearly, her parents had been expecting her by the door of the building.

“A little bird told me!” And whilst that might have been mildly suggestive coming from any other mom, Emma knew it to be fact as a nightingale perched close by flew to her mother’s outstretched lovely finger.

“Yay, how nice of the little birdie to come and gossip...”

Emma reminded herself that this would be for a weekend only and that she could be a good daughter for those forty-eight hours- a little less if she left on Sunday afternoon to make it home on time. Would the school night excuse still fly with Snow? So she let her mother commandeer her dad to take her non-luggage to her room, fix her dinner and tell her that she had known all along that she would come back and that the nightingale had stopped by to tell her that Emma was on her way which was why she had dinner nearly ready. Snow prattled on about how the Mayor wanted to destroy the Shelter because animals did not vote but that now that she was here everything was going to be just hunky-dory because she was back and how it was all just so _perfect._

Emma swallowed the irritation. Her parents were terminally optimistic.

She also pushed down on the feeling there was something more to this whole summoning her back home they were not telling her about. She had enough to deal with. She focused on the irritating optimism because it was just so in her face it made her teeth itch.

“Now that you’re home, everything is going to be just fine, I just know it.”

Yep, hope not only springs eternal but drowns out common sense. “Mom, it might not be that easy.”

“Well,” Snow chirped happily fussing with Emma’s hair as she sat her on the old rickety sofa, “the only problem is the plot where the Shelter was built belongs to the town.”

“The only problem, huh...”

Snow looked mildly confused for a moment and then her bright smile returned. “Well, yes. The animals are okay and we have our health and now you’re here. Everything is going to be just fine.”

“You said that already.”

“Because it’s the truth!”

“What is?” David asked coming down the steps where Snow had asked him to leave Emma’s almost non-existent luggage.

“Emma is here now. Everything is going to be just fine.” David smiled his million watt smile. Emma wondered briefly if plucking her eyebrows to the last hair wouldn’t be less painful than their ever replenishing optimism.

“Snow, you know I’m not a lawyer…”

“Oh, it’s Snow now, is it?” Right, this was the moment where it all went from unbridled optimism to manipulation. “Am I not your mother any longer, Emma of the Summerlands? And no, I don’t know anything about you. You could be an astronaut and I still wouldn’t know about it, would I?” Yes, right, optimism in her mother came with a side of petulance and sharp tongue.

“I call…”

“No, Emma, I call you.” Snow’s smile dimmed considerably.

“Emma did call last Christmas, Snow.”

“You have always sided with Emma, David. As far you’re concerned, she can do no wrong.”

Emma slid into the sofa wishing she could be absorbed into the broken springs of the thing. David had the same knee jerk reaction but, she supposed, thirty years of marriage worked in his favour, because he knew to defuse Snow with a quick rub to her back. Snow burrowed into his arms and tapped his pecks lightly. The ridiculous about the situation was that they easily fell into their near slapstick fifties parenting rote when she least needed it.

 “So, the land… belongs to Regina…” Emma ventured when Snow finally wiped her red rimmed eyes and took a deep breath, hoping to get the conversation back on track.

“Of course not, don’t be silly.” Snow started.

“Then we might have been in trouble.” David continued.

“It belongs to the town.” Snow completed, smiling at her perceptive husband.

“Sure... belonging to the town makes a world a difference when she’s still the Mayor. Which, by the way, how come she’s still the mayor? The curse broke...”

“Yes, thanks to you!” Snow chirped full of pride, the smile back on, full force. Emma rolled her eyes as far back as they would go. They were prone to take that accident- or any other really – as a wilful act of saving.

“In any case,” Again, David completed Snow’s train of thought, “She ran unopposed.”

“Yes... we all have our jobs and she is actually quite good at it. She juggles quite a lot, all things considered.”

“But she was the Evil Queen. I thought you all couldn’t wait to get rid of her.”

“Yes, but since Henry, she’s... well...” David hesitated while Emma’s heart did a somersault at the mention of the name.

“Nicer.” Snow completed. “Marginally… And everybody loves Henry…”

Emma rediscovered the joys of throwing up in her own mouth in less than a minute. Mom and Dad were still completing each other’s sentences and Regina had this Henry now and they probably completed each other’s sentences too and it was all so perfectly romantic it was nauseating. God, she couldn’t wait to leave. The sooner the better. Her parents needed a reality check? Well, that would come soon enough when Regina razzed The Second Chance to the ground. Besides... it was probably a lie. Regina was nice only when she got things her way. This guy might make her nicer but sure as shit not nicer to her parents... Not after all that happened.

 “Why don’t you buy it from the town, then?” Emma suggested hopefully. This was just like her parents not to see the wood for the trees. If the magic fairies cannot sort it for them, nothing else was a solution.

“Because The Second Chance is not that well off. It’s a charity. The money we get – from donations- is to feed the animals, not to… to… to splurge out in real estate!” Her mother objected indignantly.  

“I can give you the money…” Emma ventured, suddenly hopeful that tossing money at the problem might still sort it. “I can make a donation…”

“But don’t you see? She will never sell it!” Snow opened her eyes wide which in her was body English for _why don’t you just sympathise with me already_.

And it worked, it really did but Emma was honour bound to put in at least a token protest. “Have you tried?”

 Snow and David exchanged a brief look and if Emma hadn’t been so aware of their near telepathic bond, she would have missed it. “After all these years, she is still on her revenge path!” Snow spluttered and David nodded eagerly.  Oh, now that was interesting, Emma thought when Snow’s voice curdled a little around the words. There was a lie there. Somewhere. “And now she found the perfect solution! She will destroy the Second Chance. She will destroy our way of life!”

“You just said she was nicer since this Henry dude.” Her voice caught a little at the guy’s name. No, it was not jealousy at all. Couldn’t be. Not after eleven years. She hadn’t thought about Regina that way in like… well, a whole week. Twenty-four hours at least.

And now that Snow was firmly encroached in her rant she wouldn’t stop unless someone did it for her. “Mom, don’t be so dramatic. You do not live off the Second Chance. You’re a teacher and dad can always find another job. Why don’t you move? Why don’t you get out of Storybrooke? What’s so special about this buttfuck town anyway? The barrier is gone! Go see the world.”

“Emma! Mind your language! Storybrooke is all the world I need. Where you and your father are, my world is complete. Home is where the heart is!” She smiled beatifically and crossed her hands on her lap. Again, Emma felt a low lever unease. There was something else to this because she could smell the lie in her mother’s breath but she just carved her nails into her palms. The less she argued, the sooner this would be over.

“Here’s the thing, mom: I’m not a lawyer, but if the land belongs to the town and Regina is still the mayor, then I don’t see much you can do. She hates your ever living guts and, like you said, animals don’t vote. Not even in this town. There is nothing in it for her. So here’s a crazy idea: why don’t you buy some old farm or whatever elsewhere and move the operation there?”

“Because you took your first steps in that shelter. Because the animals like it there and because there is always a way.” _Lie, lie, lie!_ Emma’s lie detector pinged softly in the back of her mind. Cautious not to get overly involved in the whole clusterfuck, Emma silenced it like she would her morning alarm clock.

“Yeah, sometimes that’s the walking away way.”

“Oh, Emma. Where did you get your pessimism from?” Snow pressed a kiss to the crown of Emma’s head.

“It’s called _realism_.”

“Emma, you'll never find a rainbow if you're always looking down.”

Emma growled. “It’s not a rainbow we are looking for but a feasible solution to this mess.”

“And I’m sure you will find one! You are here now, that’s all that matters.” Her mother tapped her hand lightly in that slightly patronising way of hers.

“And I can’t wait to get out again.”

Snow looked hurt at that but David just went to the rescue again rubbing her back. He did that to the horses too. “Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses!” He edged and smiled at her. He was now on a damage control mission with Snow.

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Her mother added.

Emma for her part, simply growled. There’s no point in arguing with idiots. They bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience. “Why do you guys always have to talk in bumper sticker?”

Snow seemed to find the half hearted comment adorable because she just hugged Emma to her. “Oh, there’s my grumpy kitty! Tired kitty is a grump kitty! Let’s go to bed. Things are always better in the morning.”

…   …   ...

Unsurprisingly, Emma didn’t sleep a wink. The mattress was too soft, the pillow too plump and… no, just no, she could not be sleeping in parents place again, flowery sheets and all, less than a hand full of miles away from Regina _and_ her _Henry._ God, she hated the name already and hadn’t even met the guy yet.

Defeated, she got up to raid the cookie jar. She munched as she considered her options and kept on coming to the same result every time: her body on a spit roast in Regina’s backyard. So she poured herself a glass of milk and dunked the cookies. If she was going to die, then the calories were the least of her problems.

...   …   …

“No way.” Emma almost screamed, horrified.

 “But Emma…”

“No. I can’t go see Regina.” Emma pushed away at the plate with pancakes and eggs, unable to eat. “If I go, you better believe it she will fire ball the damned shelter on the spot.”

“Why? What did you do to her? Did you slash her tires or something?” David was interested now. This was not his Emma, the one that had never seen trouble not worth making worse.

_Well, fuck my life._ Emma though bitterly. “What, you mean besides breaking her curse?”

“Nah… that’s not why…” David ventured.

In the end, Emma agreed, just to stop them speculating.

…   …   …

Fact: Emma looked like shit after a sleepless night, dark bags under bleary eyes, confidence shot to shit.

Fact: She had not packed nearly enough to face up to a loved up, _Henryied_ up Regina.

Fact: She was going to die the moment Regina laid eyes on her either because it bothered Regina too much (death by murder) or because it didn’t bother her at all (death by suicide).

Fact: She hated this Henry guy already, with his making Regina _nicer_. Regina had always been great just the way she was: combative, ornery, spoilt. She loved that Regina. (No, wait, that was not a fact, not in the least.)

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 

Obviously, she procrastinated.

Instead of being a good girl and going directly to the town hall and waiting politely for the Mayor to see her without an appointment, she bee-lined to Granny’s.

It surprised her no amount to see Ruby already there, waiting her tables, especially because she was sporting a smile that illuminated her face.

Ruby grabbed two cups from the counter and sat at Emma’s table with that smile of a cat that got the canary. “I thought you had found entertainment in Boston.”

Ruby gave her a dreamy smile and sipped on her coffee. “Not entertainment. It’s serious. I’m in love.”

Emma burned her tongue on her hot chocolate. “You’re what?”

“I’m in love.” Emma’s expression was dubious at best. “Okay, I’m falling in love. Same thing.”

“Did you bring her here?” Emma asked, a little horrified. “To this shithole?”

“And let her meet Granny?” Ruby rolled her eyes. “I told her I was an orphan and left it at that.”

“I know the feeling.” Emma sighed into her chocolate.

“What are you doing here anyway? I mean, not the town, I knew you would come. That’s a given. But, here at the diner. Did you have a bust up with your parents already?”

“No… I told them I would not go to the town hall, Snow insisted and we agreed that it was for the best that I did just that…” Emma deflated. “Who is this Henry anyway?” I don’t remember anyone by that name.

“You’ve heard about Henry already? Jesus, your mom works the information fast, doesn’t she?”

“Apparently. Who’s the guy, Ruby?”

Ruby’s eyebrow quirked and whatever she was about to say, she though the better of it. “Oh… he’s sort of new in town. Arrived sometime after you left.”

“You could have told me.”

Ruby stood and walked to the counter and if Emma was any judge- as she was- Ruby was hiding something. “What? That she has someone?” She leaned on the counter and studying Emma, a look that went through her right into places Emma didn’t care to disclose. It made her forget about what Ruby might be hiding. “I didn’t think you cared. Besides, I told you to come back. Repeatedly.”

“Yeah… It’s none of my business anyway, who she sees…”

“Exactly.” Ruby agreed, still all over Emma’s business as if she could see through her. “So… how long will you stay?”

Emma looked at her phone, did some calculations, and whispered “About twenty hours more. Maybe nineteen, if I play my cards right.”

The look Ruby gave her said it all: shame on you, Emma of the Summerlands.

…   …   …

She didn’t go to the Town Hall. She had time. Besides, it was Saturday. She was almost positive the Mayor did not work Saturdays, not now that she had a Henry. Instead, she loitered around town, around her old haunts. If she hadn’t been the only person in town growing up, getting older, it might have been a good place to grow up. But she had been the only one in their number to age. And, it seemed, that hadn’t changed since she’d left. The curse was broken so what was the hold up? Eventually, she’d stop coming to Storybrooke altogether. Not that it was a habit and by that, she meant that it had never happened. How could she come over and be old, be like sixty or seventy and see her own parents still looking like they weren’t a day over twenty-five? No one with a heart could blame her for it.

She stopped by the seediest dive Storybrooke had to offer and had a drink. Or three. Then she got into her car. The temptation was there, to just drive away. She could call Snow from the road and tell her she’d had an emergency but the last shred of decency in her tugged and she found herself driving back. She parked by the beach and climbed onto the wooden rickety castle that seemed to have no other function other than to prove that even buildings and objects did not age. Still. She had missed the salty air here and the fierce wind that blew from the Atlantic. She missed the way the light seemed so different from Boston, brighter, somehow, clearer, sharper.

She couldn’t go, that was all. She couldn’t stand in that office, face to face with Regina. She had spent too many sleepless nights over the years, she had come by her own hand too many times whispering Regina’s name, fantasised too many date nights, too many travels, too many things for it not to show on her face.

And yet… even if she weren’t able to sort the mess her parents were in, she owed it to them to at least give it a try because, ultimately, she knew it was all her fault. She knew that Regina had a bone to pick and being that she was not in town, her parents were taking the flack by proxy.

And of course, being Emma, there was an appeal to self destruct that kept nagging at the edges of her conscience whispering _why not? Go! Go go go go go!_

Alright, then, Emma sighed and she got into the car. Facing Regina it was. With trepidation, she drove to Mifflin Street, still as familiar to her as her own street and parked under a mature willow. It wasn’t like she was hiding, She just needed to catch her breath and for that, she needed a minute.

The white door with the number 108 on it opened and Emma reacted by opening her car door too, instinct telling her that it would be better not miss Regina, while she still felt brave enough to approach her. Should she smile or would Regina see that as defiance? Yeah, definitely smile. She composed a cocky smile but that died in her lips as she saw Sheriff Graham stepping out, not without first pressing Regina against a wall and kissing her, hand on her throat, pressing, pressing. Something in Emma froze. Was it was her possessive streak rearing its head or did Graham want to hurt _her_ Regina? How serious could this Henry be if she was sneaking around with Graham?

She closed the door as silently as she could. Regina was in a scrap of lingerie and her hair was messy and her lips were still as plump and kissable as they had been eleven years ago and Emma punched the steering wheel. None of her business. The Henry dude should take better care of her if she needed insipid old Graham of all people. She waited a beat until Graham got into the police cruiser parked down the road, her eyes carving daggers on his back. When she looked at the door, she saw only Regina’s retreating back, shoulders tense and head low. Well, it didn’t look as if the trysts with him were doing much for the Mayor’s happiness. She drove the whole of the two minutes until she parked outside Granny’s and she was still angry by the time she got there.

Seeing Regina had been a piss poor idea.

Not that she should care. She had been very careful to fill her life of freedom outside Storybrooke with trysts of her own, with anything that would get her mind off of her.

Too bad that she had never been quite successful.  

…   …   …

She marched into Granny’s where she expected a lot of hard liquor in very small glasses would do just the trick. Of course she was also hoping to grill her godmother because of course she would know about this. Ruby knew everything. She expected an explanation.

She sat at the counter and waited patiently for Ruby and her sunny, sunny disposition. She jigged her leg violently on the foot rest, trying and failing to simmer the hell down.

When Ruby approached her behind the counter she deposited a cup of hot chocolate complete with wiped cream and a cinnamon stick in it.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll have a shot. Or five. Make it all in the same glass.”

Ruby pushed the cup to her, insisting. “You’ve got an admirer, Princess.”

“Ruby―” Emma prepared to chastise her, but Ruby simply pointed with her chin at a little boy that was sitting by the window table, wide smile in his freckled face, luminous blue- or were they green- eyes. The kid waved at her and then stood and walked away before she could do anything else.

“Kid got game, Ruby. Poor choice of drinks but kid got game.”

“It’s not surprising though…” Ruby commented but walked away.

It was not Jim, Johnny or Jose, but it was comforting in a way she didn’t expect. Okay, so there were surprises still in old Storybrooke.

…   …   …

She seethed quietly over her hot chocolate. So Regina was banging the Sheriff on the side all the while being with this dude Henry. Wow. That she had not expected. She hadn’t known her to keep so many lovers back then. Had she been the only one or had Regina had more bits on the side even then? Had she been banging the Sheriff already?

She couldn’t be okay. She couldn’t be okay with this now. It was like pins and needles under her skin and she was restless and agitated. She stood and waved a distracted _see ya_ to Ruby and decided to walk. Just walk anywhere. There was nowhere far enough in Storybrooke to just drive until she had run out of steam and anger. So she walked and her steps took her to the Second Chance. God, it had been eleven years since she’d last been to the place. She walked towards the back and made her way in through the back door which her dad always left unlocked. It all remained pretty much the same. The dog kennel to the left where the same dogs she had know all her life still lived. Gofredo, the old lame horse still had the one of the stables and still looked at her hoping for an apple. The same cats still patrolled the grounds, owning the place and still came to wind around her legs in greeting. Not even animals aged in this place. That was reserved for her only. She had magic and she could do things with just her mind that would probably get her arrested in Boston but she was only truly a freak here, at home.

She grabbed an apple from the bushel by the back door and walked to the stables. The horse’s ears moved gently and he nuzzled her hand in acknowledgement. She offered the apple and rubbed at his massive head that had always scared her just a little bit. “Hey, Gofredo… So, how’s life, huh?”

She waved her fingers and a brush from nearby floated to her hand and she started at the neck, brushing down in long strokes that had the horse relaxing into her. He had always enjoyed it and she had always looked at it like a chore. But not today. Today, it was head space. And she needed it after the headfuck that had been to see Regina and Graham together. She brushed the horse until its coat was more or less shiny though this was a horse old as dust. He deserved it too. He had been a war horse and he deserved it. “She’s sleeping with Graham, Gofredo… why would she do that?”

Gofredo nuzzled her, though she didn’t know if it was show of support or simply wanting more apples. She opted for the first, as she was in need of it. “I mean… Graham? Wasn’t he like a whipping boy for her or something back there? And why am I this bothered by it?”

A blue bird perched on the sill of the window and chirped at her. _Chirped at her._ So now her mother knew where she was. She ignored the bird. The bird would, however, have none of it. It took flight and did a couple of fly bys to her head where she was still holding onto the horse. Which made it a summons from her mother. In all her life, this had always been the way. And it hadn’t stopped irritating her. She took a broom and acknowledged the bird again on the sill. “Beat it or else.” She waved the broom in the air.

The bird left with a recriminating last glance at her and she offered Gofredo one more apple and then made her way into the office. Maybe she could have a look at the books. Surely it could not be as bad as all that. Not that she was great with accounts or anything that required attention for a prolonged period of time but she had to do something so that she could leave town. Now more than ever, she had to. She rubbed at her chest to try and sooth a burn there.

As she opened the door into the back office, she was faced with the same mess that had always lived there, something that would forever make her wonder how she could have come from these two particular parents. There was animal feed of all sorts in bags on the floor and baskets on the old springy sofa, there was a pervading smell of air freshener as if that made all the other odours disappear and buried somewhere, deep under that, the paperwork for the shelter, probably mixed with the all the other paper work for the household. It was a nightmare.

…   …   …

Outside, in the darkened street, under the cover of trees, the Mayor pulled her coat around her chest, stuffed her hands in her pockets and scuffed the floor with the heel of her boot.

…   …   …

Emma tossed her jacket into the first available surface and pushed past baskets and bags until she reached the desk. She switched on the small stingy lamp and sat on the chair only to find it occupied by a tabby cat that had always favoured that spot. She took in her surroundings and heaved a sigh, discouraged. There was nothing to do here. If they depended on the accounts of the shelter to save the place, then this was condemned already.

She tied her hair in a pony tail, and started pushing at the mess around her until she created a space on the desk to work. She picked up the cat and gave the ears a good scratching then set to work. She pulled stacks of papers haphazardly stuffed into grocery bags and started piling them neatly, in date order.

She was in for a long night.

…   …   …

The blue bird reported dutifully to Snow White. The Princess was in a bad mood, did not want dinner and, more importantly, the Mayor was outside the Second Chance looking in.

Snow smiled, and thanked the bird. Then, with a spring in her step, she called her husband for a much overdue – and serious talk. Dinner would have to wait.

…   …   …

“Emma?” Her mother called out from the door before tripping on some of the boxes Emma had carried outside of the office. “I called you for dinner!”

“Yeah, I got the bird memo.”

“It’s getting late. You should come home now.”

“Yeah… I should. Except I didn’t feel like it.”

“But it’s dinner time!”

“Mom… look, I’m a grown ass woman and―”

“Mind your language, Emma! There is no need for profanity.”

Emma slapped her hands on the papers on top of the desk. There were about thirty years of receipts, invoices, contracts, leases, and god knew what else that she had been sifting through. Her nose was itching from the dust and her hands disgusting. Blue birds might not get old, but dust settled in Storybrooke just like it did in any other place in the world and all she wanted was gin & tonic to refresh her throat, not a lecture on language. “You know what, _Mom_? You’re lucky Storybrooke is this shithole of a tax haven because this shit right here―” She quickly raised her hand to silence her mother who was again objecting to her language. “Oh just give it a rest! This?” She encompassed the space around her with her hand. “You should count your blessings Regina never sent a tax inspector to your door, because this is… unbelievable!”

“We have a system…” Snow defended though there wasn’t much fervour in the words.

“You can’t call this a system! Even I know that! If she really wanted to close you down, the only thing she had to do was to get an IRS guy.”

“I don’t think we have one, Emma.”

“Don’t bet on it. She’s anal about everything. She has one somewhere. She just hasn’t deployed him.”

Snow’s eyes bugged out of her face. “Do you really think she would do that?”

“I don’t know. And I’m having trouble caring, right now. But I’m telling you that while- for the _very_ short time- I’m here, I’ll help you pack up this _system_ of yours and move it to another place.”

“But you came home!” Snow whined softly and offered Emma a plate of something warm and not remotely appetising just by the scent of it.

“Yeah, I did. But all I want is to go back to my place, to my bed, to my friends, to my job. This? This is not what I want for my life.”

Snow carefully wiped a tear that looked very fake to Emma. “Are you upset because she’s sleeping with Graham?”

“Mom! What the hell! Why would you even―” Emma trailed off and Snow just studied her for a few seconds. “You knew?”

“I just want you to be happy, Emma. I think you can be so happy in Storybrooke. There is… so much waiting for you here… I… Regina is….” Then Snow bit her lip as she did when she was trying not to tell Emma the Christmas present she had bought for her.

Emma shook her head. No, she was not interested in whatever her mother thought could make her stay. “Then let’s do this and I can go back where I _am_ already happy.”

“Being a bail bonds… person? Does that make you happy? You could be so much more. You are so much more here! You are the saviour! We need you here. You are the child of the prophecy! And there’s―” Again she bit her lip.

“Well, guess what?” Emma stood and the papers she had painstakingly piled spilled disastrously. “I don’t want to be the child of the prophecy. I never wanted it. I wanted to be like all the other kids. I wanted to be _your_ child and not everyone else’s hope. That’s a very tall order for a kid but you never let that bother you, not once.”

“Oh, Emma…”

All in all, Emma would have preferred that her mother screamed instead of turning on that wounded look in her eyes she had never been very good at dealing with.

“Look… I’m sorry… I’ll just finish here and then I’ll go, okay?”

Snow squared her shoulders and stuck out her chin and in anyone else, that might have been defensive but in Snow White of the Summerlands it was just passive aggressive. And to Emma it was pavlovian: her mother did _the look_ and Emma caved. “Look, I’ll just finish here. Another half an hour or so.”

“I’ll just leave your dinner, then.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“I’ll see you soon…”

“Yes, Mom, I’ll see you soon.”

When she was alone, she pulled at her hair and scrubbed at her face. What on earth did Snow know of her relationship with Regina? Nothing. Emma had kept it her secret, her precious, most guarded secret. There was no way Snow could know. Right?

…   …   …

Snow wrapped her coat tightly around her and walked out of the shelter purposefully not looking at where the Mayor stood. It would be better all around not to acknowledge her. But when she was a sufficient distance away, she smiled, unable to stop herself.

Emma was home and things would be just as they should. It was just a question of making sure Emma admitted how much she wanted to stay.

…   …   …

Emma slept fitfully. She tossed and turned all night, dreaming of Graham in Regina’s bed, doing things to her and she hated them both for it. She couldn’t wait to go back to Boston, to get out of Storybrooke for good. The place was toxic.

In the morning her parents were waiting for her, both of them, in their weekend morning usual of fluffy bathrobes and matching Winnie the Pooh and Tiger slippers.

Her father gave her a studious look, a small smile dancing on his handsome face. Snow elbowed him discretely and the smile faded. “What do you think?” Her father asked when she settled at the table with her coffee and bagel.

“About what?”

“The accounts… the Second Chance... Regina… You said you’d fix it.” Snow closed her oversized, over fluffy robe tighter and sat on the chair closest to Emma, immediately making her feel crowded.

“What I said, Dad, was that I would give you the money for it. I can’t fix it! You need a damned miracle for that. Did you ever sit down with an accountant to audit the books? Did you ever so much as put it all on paper or filed something without stuffing into a grocery bag?”

There was only silence in answer to her question. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“Emma, that’s not the problem. The problem is that the Evil Queen wants to mess with us. She wants to destroy us. She wants what she always wanted: to makes us miserable!” Snows tone was oddly calm and she didn’t even need David’s soothing hand on her arm. But as fast as Emma noticed it, she dismissed it.

“Look, for starters, can we stop calling her that? I don’t see any kingdoms around us. The US is a democracy so why don’t you just can the title, huh? Mayor Mills or Regina the Head Bitch would do just fine, but no more Queens, evil or otherwise.”

She was not going to get an agreement from her parents, stuck as they were in the past, like everyone else in this town, but she got a silent moment while they exchanged a funny look that she couldn’t read and that was a victory itself.

“Then, it would probably be good to look at this from a legal perspective- not that people are used to that in this buttfuck but―”

“Emma!” Her father stopped her calmly. “You are at our dinner table. Please mind your language.”

Chastised, Emma rolled her eyes. “Look… here’s the deal: you do not own the land. The town does. Regina is the Mayor. So do the math: she has the final say over what happens.”

“Well, maybe she could be reasoned with!” Snow commented, her head ensconced in her pink cloud of a robe. “ I thought you were going to... have a chat with her yesterday...”

Emma swallowed her guilt and engaged in a diversion. “Yeah, right… did she explain why she’d doing this? I mean… Why now? She could have done this years and years ago! She could have done this in the beginning when we all landed here. She could have made you two homeless or special needs or whatever. So why now?”

“I don’t know!” Snow rubbed her eyes, pushing away at brimming tears, her eyes huge and almost cartoon like. And dismissed any further arguments with a wave of her hand. _Oh dear fuck_. “Emma, you’re so cleaver and… ”

_And here we go_ Emma though not without bitterness. A compliment always wrapped up the other dropping shoe. She waited patiently.

“Can’t you talk to her?” David asked. “I’m sure she’ll listen to you.”

“I doubt that.” Emma snorted though she had to wonder what was it with her father’s knowing- albeit goofy- look.

“Because you broke the curse?” Emma bit into her bagel hoping that was agreement enough. “You saved her, Emma. When the townsfolk got together to… Well…” Her mother hesitated.

“To burner at the stake, you mean?” Her mother had the decency to blush having stood by while her subjects sharpened the pitchforks and tied Regina to a tree, ready to burn her or whatever their sadistic instincts came up with.

“My point, Emma, is that you saved her.”

“After putting her in mortal danger by breaking the curse _.” And then broke her heart._

…   …   …

Emma pondered her options. Her mother had a way of making her feel guilty for having a life. She wanted to get the hell out of dodge, because if she had to see Regina with a husband slash lover number one after she had just seen her with lover number two, her eyeballs would probably explode and her brain would melt. So there was only one thing to do: she had to face the music and dance.

She drove to Mifflin Street and left the Bug parked right on the driveway. If an immediate escape was necessary- in case of fireball, curse or whatever- it was a decent idea to have the car close by. She didn’t get to the door, though. Regina marched outside looking about as pleased as a cat in cold water and headed her off before she got to the elegant marble steps.

“So the Saviour _is_ in town! Did you run out of world to see already?” Right, then. A body armour would have been a good choice of attire. Regina’s lip curled upwards and her eyes were narrowed to two tiny slits and if she’d had any sense, Emma would have gotten straight into her car and backed out and down. But no one had ever accused her of being sensible. And she was still smarting from seeing Graham with his mouth all over Regina. Jealousy chose the worst moment to rear its ugly head.

“No, I haven’t. But I was _summoned_ back because apparently, you, the head bitch in charge, decided that’s a good idea to kick them out of the Second Chance.”

“Is that the sob story your darling mother told you?”

Christ on a cracker, Emma had missed that voice. It tingled places in her she couldn’t remember she had. And yet, the image of Graham plastered all over _her Regina’s_ face was seared into Emma’s retinas. “Yeah. That’s what my mother told me.” Emma’s voice was rising in pitch steadily. Not her Regina. _Yes, your Regina._ And Graham’s big, drooling lips all over her and his gigantic paws all over her. “Are you saying I shouldn’t I believe her?”

“Are you new here, Saviour?” Regina asked, her tone softer than Emma expected at that point in the conversation. And the back of her neck tingled and tingled and Emma simply didn’t heed it.

“I know _you,_ Madam Mayor. I know your thing for revenge. You like that shit. You need it more than air. So yeah. I believe my mom.”

The look that shadowed Regina’s eyes was brief but it was as if Emma had punched her. Her expression steeled and she turned on her heel and walked back into the house without a further word, leaving Emma on the steps.

Shit. Not good.

Also, too soon for the conversation to be over. In a perverse kind of way, she wanted more, she wasn’t ready to let go.

Emma stuck her finger to door bell. “I’m gonna ring until you open again, Regina.”

“Go away, Saviour.” The voice came from very close to the door, soft and almost plaintive.

“Open up. I know where you keep your spare key.”

“Don’t you dare!” Was that panic?

Emma leaned her forehead against the door. Now she had well and truly fucked it up. “Look… Just let me apologise. I shouldn’t have snapped. Please.”

It took a few very long seconds but the door opened and Emma lunged forward having missed her balance. And nearly fell into Regina’s arms.  She straightened back up.

“If it makes you feel better.” Regina didn’t move from the entrance.

“It does. I’m sorry. Look… I didn’t come here to shout.”

“No?” Regina quirked her eyebrow, disbelief obvious in her face. God, Emma thought, she was doomed. How on earth was she going go back to the beginning of the task of forgetting this woman?

“No. Even if it doesn’t look like it. “

“So? What did you come here for?” Regina asked and why did it sound like hope to Emma?

“Well… to convince you to let them stay where they are?”

Regina sighed and there was something that Emma identified as disappointment, a note so subtle that only Emma would have detected it.  “I know this is hard for you to believe, but it’s for the best.”

“But Regina… You know my mom.”

“Yes.” Regina nodded calmly though there was an impatient undertone.

“So you know where she’s going with this.”

“Be that as it may.” And that was Regina’s tone of finality.

“Look, the shelter is not doing so well. I mean… they’re, both of them, in a world of their own, you know? I doubt it that they could come up with the money to move the operation elsewhere. And…”

“That’s what they told you?”

“Look… I saw their books- what there is of their books. So I believe that.”

“And they didn’t tell you of a possible solution?”

“What solution?” Emma asked scratching at that tingling in the back of neck usually spelled trouble that had not yet arrived.

Regina nodded, sadly. “I see. That, however, is not my problem.”

“What? You see what? Regina… I know you have a bone to pick with me. I did… I mean… I was…” Regina waited patiently but Emma could no more organise her thoughts than stop seeing Graham and Regina’s lips swollen by their kisses. “I took my first steps in that shelter…. “

“I didn’t know you had an emotional attachment to anything in this town. Is that all you came to say to me?”

“Well, yeah…”

Emma saw it, the squaring of the shoulders and the sticking out of the chin and knew this was not going to go well, that it was something she’d said and that she didn’t stand a chance.

“Then go and walk a few more and get it out of your system. Then, get out of Storybrooke. Go fast, saviour. Don’t look back.”

“Excuse me?” Emma’s tone was low, like a growl on a wounded bear. “You think you can kick me out of town?”

“You don’t need any help with going away, Emma. You do it very well on your own. Do it again now. You never liked this town anyway.”

“Okay, I guess I deserved that…”

Regina made no comment on that. “Get in your car and get out of town, Emma.”

“Dammit, Regina, you can’t just do that.”

There was movement upstairs and Regina made to close the door. Emma, as always, acted first and thought about it after. She put her foot on the threshold effectively stopping Regina.

“Get out of my house, Emma of the Summerlands. Get out of my town.”

“It’s Swan now, actually.”

“Emma Swan…”

“Yeah.”

“You really wanted a clean break with Storybrooke, didn’t you? Go away, Miss Swan. Go back to your clean break of a life.”

“So that you can go back to yours, to sleeping with Graham?” And that was none of her business. “With Graham of all people?” And he had stood right there on that door step and left his mark on Regina and the thought angered her so much she could hardly breathe let alone think.

Regina opened the door only to push her out and she did so with all the anger bubbling in her. “You do not have the right to talk about who I sleep with, _Miss Swan_. You lost that right eleven years ago. Now go away.”

“No.” _Huh?_ “I’m not going anywhere.”

“With your track record, I’m not worried. Have a wonderful, _wonderful_ day.”

And Emma was left staring at the white door that had welcomed her countless times before she had left her whole world behind.

…   …   …

She got into the Bug and drove aimlessly for half an hour, until she ran out of streets to drive. What the hell was she thinking? This was a clusterfuck, a pile-up of epic, gargantuan proportions. She had never wanted to stay any more than that weekend and now, because she had seen _her_ again, here she was, completely falling off the wagon, doing and saying stupid, stupid things. _Thinking_ stupid thoughts.

She had put her foot in it with Regina. Completely. Regina was right: it was none of her business who she slept with, who she cuckolded. Her foot had been jammed in her mouth so deep it was coming out of her ass during that train wreck of a conversation. And she should have known better than that. But one thing was for sure: If Regina wanted her out, she too had a case of foot-in-mouth disease because the moment she had told her to get out of town was the moment that Emma had decided this was one heap of trouble she wanted to dive right in.

She punched the steering wheel hard enough to rattle the bones on her hand. Damn it all to hell and back.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter. Real life sucks...

**Chapter 4**

 

She ended up at Granny’s. Old habits don’t just die hard, they are the true undead. She slumped onto a booth at the back, just in case the parental units decided it was a good thing to go and look for her. She turned her phone over and over in her hand, considering her next steps, trying to persuade herself to stick to the plan. The most logical thing to do- the only sane thing to do- was to get the hell out of dodge and not look back. Cut her losses. Leave a cheque for her parents to get a new place for the Second Chance, pay the movers and thus discharge her filial duties. Maybe leave it in hard cash so that Snow could not use that as an excuse.

But _sunovabitch_ , she wanted to defy Regina again. She wanted to rile her up, rattle her, shake her… To stand between her and what she wanted. To cause trouble just so that she could see anything but the hurt and the indifference in that face. She wanted to take things away from her just out of spite. She wanted to peel Graham off of her and set fire to his mouth and break his fingers and kick his crotch.

And this was not helpful at all. And it was childish.

Emma took a deep, steadying breath.

She was still stewing, mulling over her options when Ruby stopped by her booth and placed another hot chocolate complete with wiped cream and cinnamon stick in front of her.

“There better be two shots of Jack Daniels in there, Ruby.”

Ruby undulated into the both, one of those fluid, graceful movements of hers and exposed a fair deal of her cleavage as she leaned forward. “It’s about comfort.”

“I’m not ten anymore, Ruby. Jack is comfort enough.”

“ _He_ is ten.” Ruby pointed out at the same boy with large ears and eager smile that had sent her a flirty drink the previous day. The boy waved at her, and the expectant look amped up to a smile. He  left with a cheery wave when she rose her cup to him in a toast.

“Do I know him?” Emma asked, puzzled. He seemed familiar for some reason. Probably because they had both been ten and in school together or something which was a depressing thought.

“Well, he sure seems to know you.” Ruby commented. “What’s wrong, Ducky?”

So, so many things. “Why is she sleeping with Graham, Ruby? Why him?” Careless, Emma slapped the table and small spark snapped and crackled.

Ruby leaned back against her seat and gave Emma a long, uncomfortable studious look. “Why not? Did you leave a place holder or something?”

Emma scrubbed her face and took of sip of her drink.

Ruby craned her neck as if she wanted a fuller picture.  “Why are you even upset? It’s not like she means anything to you, is it?”

“Don’t say that… I care…”

Ruby nodded but it was a dry sort of agreement. “Huh… That must be why you didn’t call or write or, you know, show up at all…”

“Ruby! Whose side are you on?”

Ruby patted Emma’s hand in a gesture so reminiscent of Granny’s that it was unsettling. “Look, kid, you’re my goddaughter. I love like you were my own. But you are such an idiot, sometimes.” She stood and kissed the crown of Emma’s head.  “Why don’t you see about engaging your brain sometime soon, huh?”

…   …   …

Her mother squealed in delight and, not so discretely, elbowed her dad right in the stomach when Emma announced she would not be leaving that evening. “I knew you would stay! Oh, David, our baby is staying and she’s going to make everything right again!”

“Woah, I didn’t say I was going to stay. I said I’m not leaving tonight.” But now even David was looking at her like he was encouraging a breakthrough of some sort and, man, they were a tough nut to crack with their relentless optimism.

Snow dismissed her refusal with a wave of her hand and wandered off into the kitchen to work on dinner. David walked into his daughter and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you, honey. Even if you’re just staying the night. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much. I missed all the trouble you used to get yourself into. Things have been too quiet around here.”

 _Oh, damn_. “I missed you too, dad.”

David pulled her at arm’s length and looked her squarely in the eye. “There’s trouble worth getting into, still, you know?”

And she would be forever grateful that he didn’t follow her mother’s trend of recrimination and passive aggressiveness. She would never admit it to Snow, but she was, absolutely, a daddy’s girl. Totally.

“Do you wanna go down to the Second Chance with me?” She nudged him.

His eyes brightened up. “Do you want to feed the animals?”

“Nuh… Let’s go over that paperwork of yours. Maybe if we build a business case with numbers and bottom lines the Mayor will give you a break. But we must build a solid case.”

“Are you going to stay and help?” David’s ears pinked and his face opened in a smiled that was frank and warm. “With the case?”

“Yeah… for a while, at least.”

David pulled her under his arm and gave her a sideways hug, his own brand of non personal space invasion and grabbed his keys. “Okay” he nodded. “Let’s see what we see, huh?”

…   …   …

Though she hated paperwork, she worked on the papers she had found and pilled neatly the night before. She filed and made notes and crunched numbers and did her own version of a mini audit. For some reason, the Second Chance had never gone under. Maybe because time really didn’t move, not even in finance because from what she could see, they generated no income and had all the outgoings of feeding the animals and paying the utilities and whatever else. Which made the whole endeavour a wash. She had no business case. She did and undid her ponytail but the numbers just didn’t make themselves pretty.

David had long retired, summoned by Snow so she made her way home when it was nearly dawn, so tired she didn’t see Regina’s lonely figure watching her from the shadows of the trees across the entrance of the shelter.

…   …   …

The following morning she sat again at her both at Granny’s and pondered sombrely: the accounts were a complete no go area. She just was not great with numbers but damn that was not a financial hole, that was a financial black hole. As she knew it would be. Complete dead zone. Complete and utter garbage. Better left unmentioned just in case Regina decided to arrange for a serious tax audit. There had to be something else. She’d dig up in the library – which actually gave her a shiver down her spine – for heaven knew what because she was not sure herself. Or maybe at the registry. There had to be something, somewhere.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and prepared a to do list:

-          _Go to the library_

-          _Go to the registry_

-          _Fuck with Graham (laxative? )_

Out of nowhere, Ruby slipped yet one more hot chocolate in front of her. “From your secret admirer with the freckles over there.” The kid waved and gave her that open smile of his but this time he did not disappear out into the street. He stood where he was, at the window table enjoying his own drink. Emma stood with her cup in her hand and walked to stand by his table, hip cocked and flirty smile.

“I have to say, kid, you have style.” He gave her a brilliant smile and indicated the chair across from him. Emma remained standing. “I have to say, though… you know that this thing between us would never work…”

“Why not?” He gave her a knowing smile, easily following into the movie routine.

“Because I don’t date ten year olds.” She remarked.

“Ah, very wise. It’s a good thing I don’t date older women either, then.”

Emma sat and leaned back. Kid had game, style _and_ poise. “I don’t remember you… from before. Did we go to school together?”

He shrugged as if he had nothing to say to that but, for some reason, it felt like she was not getting the whole story. “So why the drinks? I’m sure there are other girls you could spend your allowance on.”

He laughed, a musical giggle of a child. “I have a very, very generous allowance.”

“Ah… Well…” And she was at a loss for words. “Thanks, then...”

“It’s nice to meet you, Emma.” He reached across the table and held out his hand. Emma took it. The kid had a firm handshake. She liked it.

“Do you know me?”

“Of course I do. You’re the girl that grew up.”

“It’ nice to meet you too, uh…”

“Henry. Henry Mills.” Emma was yet to let go of his hand, trying to get a bead on why the kid was so interested in her but she let go at the mention of the name.

“Mills.”

“Yeah. Henry Mills.” He nodded eagerly and waited for something she was not sure what it was.

“You’re… I mean… You’re _Regina’s son_?”

“Yep.” He nodded again, beaming, ears going pink and, if she was any judge, waiting.

“Wow…” Now she could see it. The dark, dark, hair, the rounded face, he delicate features… yeah, he was Regina’s alright. The blue green eyes he must have gotten from his father. She found herself irrationally jealous of the kid and of the kid’s father. Then she felt sorry for him. His mom was fucking around with the town’s sheriff and soon that would be one torn apart family.

Then again… maybe that was the leverage she needed. A little quid pro quo. She’d keep it a secret, Regina would lay off the shelter. “So… huh.. who’s your dad, then?”

“Why do you want to know?” The kid leaned into his hand, elbow on the table, genuinely interested in her answer.

Okay, so no, she was not proud of that, she was, in fact, mortified she had even thought about it but… She shrugged. “I grew up here. I sort of know everybody…”  She tried for nonchalant but for some reason she could hear the fake airiness in her voice.

“I don’t have one.”

“What?”

“A dad. I don’t have a dad.”

Shit… “Oh… I’m sorry, kid.”

“Why?” He smiled and Emma saw only openness in the expression, nothing more, nothing less. “Look, it was nice meeting you, but I have to go now.”

Emma looked at the clock on her phone. “Yeah… shouldn’t you be in school now?”

“What are you? My mom?” But still he was smiling and he stood up with his backpack. “It was nice meeting you, Emma of the Summerlands.”

“Swan. I prefer Emma Swan.”

“Emma Swan.” The kid repeated as if he was tasting the name. “I like that.”

“Thanks, Henry Mills.” God, that kid had the most open, cutest freckled smile. And it looked so damned familiar.

He gave her one final lingering look and then he was off, running out of the door even as Graham was coming into the diner. Henry didn’t spare him a glance of acknowledgement and the Sheriff did not seem put out by it. It was probably a very open relationship Regina had with the guy.

Which reminded her that she hated him.

She did her level best not to chew his head off when he came into the diner and approached the table she had been sitting at with Henry in that weird galumphing gait of his. “Well, look what the cat dragged in… Emma of the Summerlands…”

“Swan. Emma Swan now, Sheriff.”

“In the outside world, you mean. And you used to call me Graham before.”

Yeah, that was before. She had been calling him Graham since she’d been twelve and he had caught her sticking an apple in his exhaust pipe. Now she wanted to call him a lying cheating bastard. “I grew up. And I still like Swan.”

“Got it. How’s the world outside, Emma Swan?”

“Big.”

“Is it scary?” He sat on the chair that seemed much too small for his long body, looking genuinely interested.

“Sure. But isn’t that part of the thrill?”

Graham seemed to look through her for a moment. “How did it feel?”

This was not what she expected of their conversation. Not one bit. “Free.”

“I missed you around here, Emma Swan.”

 _Well..._ “I used to cause a lot of trouble.”

Graham smiled, an open, easy going smile of someone who has nothing to hide. The bastard. “It was entertaining. Things got a bit dull after that. Remember when you TPed the Town Hall?”

“That was not me.” Emma clenched her hands around her cup, a knee jerk reaction that Graham did not miss.

“Yes it was. I found one of your bracelets at the… uh… scene of the crime, as it were.”

Well, that was news. She had always thought of that as the perfect crime. “You never said anything. Was it because of my mom?”

He laughed, a genuine belly laugh. “No. I like Snow. You know that. But it was too much fun to see the Mayor seething and spinning her wheels to find the _audacious, unwashed, little miscreant_ that I just sat back and enjoyed the show.”

“I…”

“I know, you didn’t do it. I’ll give you this, though: you were not a very convincing liar but at least you were consistent…”

She wanted to laugh. She also wanted to feed him his own teeth. What came out was a strangled sound that embarrassed her. “Yeah…” She took a sip of her lukewarm chocolate having forgotten it was not a whiskey and almost chocked on it. Graham patted her on the back until she stopped coughing.

“So… your mom thinks you’re gonna stick around for a while.” He edged in that soft way of his.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Do what you heart tells you, Emma. In the end, you always did.” And the funny thing- without being funny at all, was that there was no accusation in his tone.

“I broke their hearts.”

“A little. They have each other, though.” Graham sat back and swung the chair on its hind legs. He was looking at her funny, like there was something to be said, some lecture there. “There were other hearts broken…” Ah, there it was.

“Graham…” The tone was a warning, a begging for him not to go there, not him.

“Forget I said anything.” Graham signalled for Ruby and a cup of coffee which he always took with excessive sugar and milk. Which Emma knew because she had once put laxative in his milk at the Sheriff’s station and then followed him around until she saw his face twist in discomfort first and agony after and make mad runs for the toilet. Maybe she should do it again. She added a mental note to her to do list. _Get laxative_. “Tell me about the world you saw, Emma.”

…   …   …

She dragged herself home after she had been to the library where she had chatted at length with Belle. She hated that she was starting to remember her childhood and seeing it through grown up eyes. She had been surrounded by people that had been kind, that had helped grow up, that had challenged her. Even in a small, small world like Storybrooke, there had been people like Belle that fed her hunger for the world, that taught her that the only limit was her own self.

All in all, the day had been bittersweet, with that conversation with Graham, uncomfortable and painful at first, then, then funny and interesting when she had relaxed. She could see it, she could see why Regina would be sleeping with him. His mind was not like all the others: it was not set in stone, fossilised by their particular set of circumstances. He was part of that rare club of the open minds: Belle and Ruby. Herself, she liked to think. And she hadn’t known that about Graham.

And, _dammit,_  she could do without a trip down memory lane wearing rose tinted glasses.

Her mother had their Monday special on the table by the time she had finished her shower: milk and cookies. She found herself being thankful for some of the things that never changed. Milk and cookies for Monday night dinner had always been awesome even if she had started to feel overwhelmed by it, by everything staying the same except her growing body.

She inhaled deeply, the sweet scent of cinnamon cookies warming the air. It made her throat go tight with emotion. So she went with it. She went to her mother and hugged her tight and, to her credit Snow made no comment, just hugged her as tightly.

“Will you stay tomorrow?” Snow asked, her voice cracking a little around the edges of emotion.

“Yeah. I don’t know how much I can do to help- except give you the money for a new plot, mom, but I’ll be around tomorrow.”

“That’s good, Emma. That’s very good. Any days that you want to give us are very good.”

“You’re easy.”

Snow just smiled and patted her hand gently. “Let’s eat while they’re warm.”

“Where’s dad?”

“Changing. He’ll be in a second. Did you speak to her?”

“Her?” Emma asked but she knew whom Snow meant. She was just stalling.

“Regina.”

Emma grabbed glasses for the mil from the cupboard just for those precious extra seconds. “Depends on your definition of speaking…” When her mother’s only reply was a raised eyebrow, Emma completed. “If your definition is screaming and, quite possibly shoving… then yes.”

“Emma!” There it was, the reproaching tone. “Where are you manners?”

“Mom… Don’t, alright?”

“What happened?”

“Nothing…” Snow raised an eyebrow that set the record straight for Emma: she didn’t buy what Emma was selling.

“Is this still about her and Graham?”

“Are they a thing?” _Stop it, Emma, why do even care?_

“A thing?”

Emma pulled her chair and plopped down with a dejected sight. “Yeah… a couple. Have they announced it or something? Are they about to get married…” She grabbed a cookie and rubbed her finger over the top missing the giddy look on Snow’s face.

“Would it upset you they were?” Emma lowered her eyes but she just couldn’t focus on the cookie. “Look, Emma, I don’t know that they are about to get married. It’s not like Regina would be running to me to give me the happy news…”

“How long have they been together?”

“I don’t know… You know we lose track of time around here… but…” There was a moment of pause when Emma felt obliged to stuff a cookie in her mouth just so she didn’t have to feel studied under her mother’s all knowing microscope. “A few years after you left, I think.”

“What about her kid?”

“Henry?” Snow’s expression brightened considerably and she sat down with a cookie of her own. “Oh Henry is such a clever little boy! He is sweet and funny and he is such a pleasure to teach!”

“You’re his teacher?”

“But of course I am, Emma!”

“Right… So huh… who’s the father?”

Her mother broke a cookie and broke it again and again until all she had on her plate was a neat pile of crumbs. “Well, apparently, there’s no father.”

Something tingled Emma’s neck, that old familiar sensation that she was not getting the whole truth. “Did she leave Storybrooke?”

“Who, Regina?” Snow did her best confused look.

“No, The Virgin Mary. Come on, Mom. Regina. Did she leave Storybrooke? Is the kid a lab baby?”

“Emma, really! What an awful thing to say!”

“Why? Never mind. So is it someone local?”

For some reason, Snow’s expression brightened again and Emma was at a loss as to why. And it tickled the back of her neck. Again.  “Well, I would expect so. He really is a wonderful little boy.” Her mother gave her an expectant look that Emma didn’t know what to make of, except that it was time to stuff one more cookie in her mouth.

Emma had more questions. She had a lot more questions but David came in and the conversation veered towards the animals and the shelter and catching up and Emma had to make her peace with waiting for more answers.  Her mother certainly looked relieved at the change of subject.

…   …   …

She spent Tuesday morning with her nose deep in the dusty records of the Registry Office, trying to concentrate, knowing that Regina was working in the office two floors above her. But where she had been trying to find some title deeds for the land, she was sorely disappointed. As she knew she would be. Regina was nothing if not thorough.

She made her way to the diner. If anyone would know who the kid’s dad was, it would be Ruby. Or Granny. The diner was- and had always been- the hub of all gossip, the place where things happened.

“Do you have a sec, Ruby?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Regina’s kid… Who’s the dad?”

“Wow, that’s direct, isn’t it? At least beat around the bush. Pretend you’re not that interested…”

“Yeah, well… I am.”

Ruby considered Emma for a while and again, Emma felt that prickling at the back of her neck. “No one that I ever saw her dating.”

“What about Graham?”

“That’s not really dating, sounds more like… scratching an itch… I suppose he could be the sheriff’s… but… Dunno, Emma, why do you wanna know?”

 _Yes, Emma why do you want to know?_ “He’s cute.”

“That he is.”

“He doesn’t look like Graham…” And that was a relief, the likes of which she hadn’t felt about anything in a long time. Which was another thing she would do well to interrogate herself about.

“No, he doesn’t. Those eyes are definitely not Graham’s. Too green, too blue… Now, what can I get you, Princess?”

“Fries.”

“What else.”

“A lot of salt. Grease and salt if you have an IV needle somewhere.”

“Oh… someone’s having a bad day… what happened?”

“The registry is a wash.”

“But you knew that would be the case.”

“Yeah.”

“Here’s a crazy thought: why don’t you go to the Town Hall and speak to Regina calmly, maybe, I don’t know, something like that. Maybe she knows something that you don’t.”

“Why are you being so reasonable about this? I thought you’d be on Snow’s side.” Ruby shrugged but made no further comment. “Besides… I tried that. Did not go very well.”

“What? Were you true to yourself again?”

“Pretty much, yeah…”

“Emma, I love you, I really do, but you’re an idiot.”

“I know.” Emma sighed in defeat.

“Here you go, coffee on the house, Idiot. May it help you engage your brain.”

Emma slumped against the table and banged her head on it.

“Bad day?”

When Emma looked up, Henry Mills was standing right here, bright eyed and bushy tailed. He pushed his backpack into the seat and sat facing Emma expectantly.

“Hey kid. A little…”

“My mom is very good at what she does.” The kid said and Emma was sure that he knew exactly what he was talking about. Regina would not have raised an idiot. She didn’t suffer fools.

“Yeah… very thorough. Should you be here, though?”

“Lunch break.”

Emma leaned back to get a better look at the kid. Those eyes were familiar. The rest of him was purely Regina. The way he spoke, the little hint of snark, the roundness of his face. Everything about him was Regina- except for the eyes… maybe the skin, less sun, more moonlight, and the mouth, less full. Regina had a very kissable mouth.

“Uh… I would imagine that your mom would be one of those health freaks that would never let you eat in a greasy spoon.”

“Hey!” Ruby objected from behind the counter. “I heard that.”

“No offense, Ruby.”

“Idiot!” But she smiled at Emma and the kid and kept on studying the pair as if there had been little else in the world she would want to see.

“Well, she doesn’t have to know about it…” Henry added.

“Ah…”

“Look… She’s not doing this just to get to you, you know…”

“No…  She’s doing it to get to my parents.”

“Do you really believe that?” Henry asked, his eyes wide open in surprise.

“What else am I supposed to believe…”

“Don’t you know my mom at all?”

Right! Now she had upset the child. Next step: steal his candy. “Kid, you know the stories about your mom. And I’m sure you know they are not fiction.”

Henry pulled the backpack to his lap and hugged it tightly. “Yeah, I know that. But I expected better from you.”

“Why?”

“Because…” And for some reason, the kid was on the verge of tears and all she wanted to do was to make it better. “Never mind.” And he got up and walked away with a dignity that was all Regina. And then he did something that was completely not: he turned on his heel, went back to Emma and said “Ruby’s right, you know? You are an idiot.” And ran away.

…   …   …

Emma was cursing under her breath when Graham came in and sat at her booth. “Jesus, what do I have to do to get some privacy around here?”

“Probably, go back to Boston, I should think.” He replied with an easy smile. God, she could totally see why Regina would go for him. He was really nice to look at and that smile kind of made her go a little fuzzy in the head. “But I’m thinking you might stick around for a little.”

“I don’t know Graham. I don’t think there’s anything I can actually do. My parents are living in their own cloud cuckoo land and Regina wants me gone, gone, gone. And now I went and hurt her kid’s feelings. She will probably have flayed for that.”

“I’d say that’s a certainty. What did you say to Henry?” Suddenly, Graham’s tone was not all bonhomie, it had a little tinge of a threat.

“The truth. He doesn’t think she’s doing this to mess with my mom, with me.”

Ruby placed a cup of coffee already white with milk. “The truth according to you, Emma.” Graham dumped an absurd amount of sugar in it and stirred without any rush. “You were not even here for her to mess with you.”

“She knew I would come.”

“Emma, it’s been eleven years and this is your first time back home. How could she expect you to be back for this? You’re a little paranoid.”

“You’re just saying that because…”

“I’m sleeping with her?”

Emma wanted to drown in her coffee. Fast. “Look… it’s none of my business…”

“No, it’s not. And I will not discuss this with you. But I’ll tell you what… if you are going to stick around, at least make yourself useful. Come by the station.”

“So that you can show me the digs or arrest me already? Whatever it was, I didn’t do it, Sheriff!” Emma demurred with a smile she had used on Graham many, many times before.

“Don’t get cute on me, Emma.” He stood and adjusted his belt. “Ruby? My coffee is on the princess. And you?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Stop by. If you’re gonna be around, I could use a deputy.”

…   …   …

Emma liked to brood. It was sort of her thing. She was the bitter one in a fairy tale land. So she indulged. She needed an uninterrupted brood. She liked the kid. She even liked Graham- and she really, really wanted to hate him. And she missed Regina. She missed the scent of her, the sound of her voice, the way it wrapped around the words and made each one seem like a deliberate act, a conscious choice. She missed the way she had always been able to talk to her and not be judged lacking. This was all a mess, a fucking mess that her mother could have avoided by taking the money for new plot of land. But since when had things been that easy?

She walked back into town, hands in her pockets and before she knew it, she was on the steps of the town hall. Her heart plummeted when she realised where she was, at how much she wanted to be here. If she’d had enough trust in her magic abilities, she would make herself invisible just so she could see Regina without being seen. But this was hardly the little finger wiggling job that got her dishes done or the attention of a barman. This was Regina.

When she finally plucked up the courage, she went up the stairs and found the secretary missing and the office darkened. It was after school hours, so Regina was probably gone, now that she had a kid to take care of.

She felt shame at the relief that flooded through her.

She stood there for a little, just taking in the sleekness of the office, the trail of perfume that was not all fragrance but a natural scent. She sighed and stuffed her hands deep in her pockets and turned on her heel to leave making her boots squeak on the floor.

She had almost made it to the stairs when Regina’s rich, deep voice interrupted her retreat. “I don’t bite, Miss Swan.”

Emma turned on her heel slowly, gathering herself for this, relief having turned to stones clunking around in her gut. “Look, Regina, I…”

Regina waited a beat but Emma had not been prepared to do any talking so there was nothing she was ready to say. She just trailed off into silence.

“How would you like some cider?” Regina offered and it was slow and enticing and all the things that Emma had been trying to forget for all of nearly eleven years. She was also not quite sure if the offer was an olive branch or if the cider was poisoned. “I’d like that.” Screw the torpedoes and full steam ahead.

Regina moved into her office and got two heavy tumblers and poured them both two fingers of cider. Okay, so not poisoned, then, but still as potent as ever. Emma decided to be on her best behaviour.

“What are you doing here… Miss Swan?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I see.” Regina said into a her glass.

“Look… I know I should apologise.”

“Yes, you should.” Regina whispered and it was soft and sad and the killer was that Emma knew exactly why.

“It’s none of my business.” Regina offered no comment, knowing exactly what Emma was talking about. Instead, she took one more sip of her cider. Emma had always admired that about Regina- everything, really, but mostly, this, the small gestures, the elegance of it all. “I met your kid.”

Regina’s cool faltered. She fumbled with the tumbler in her hand and her eyes were wild for a moment. “You met Henry? Where? What did he say?”

“He bought me a drink.”

“He did what?” The anxiety changed to incredulity.

“At Granny’s. He bought me a hot chocolate. Several actually. Your kid’s got style.”

Regina’s armour fell and her smile became softer, sweeter in a way that Emma had rarely ever seen. It looked so good on her. “Henry is a very special little boy.”

Emma bit her tongue not to ask what was on the tip of her tongue. Henry was ten. It could not have taken Regina too long to get over them. Not one bit. She wondered if it had been a rebound kind of thing but thought it best to leave it alone.

“What did you want from here, Miss Swan?”

“I liked it best when you called me Emma.”

“I thought you wanted to leave all of that behind you.” And there was such sadness in her tone that Emma didn’t know what to make of it.

“I know. But… I’m sorry. I don’t have a right to that anymore.” Regina sipped her cider and remained quiet. “I’m not sure why I came.”

“I thought you had come to apologise.”

“Not really. I’m not that classy. But I am sorry. I didn’t expect to see Graham there. With you. I’m sorry. It kind of threw me.”

Regina inhaled deeply. “I see.” Emma couldn’t interpret the faraway look on Regina’s face.

“I know it doesn’t excuse it.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Did you miss me?” Emma looked up from her trimmed nails straight into Regina’s eyes.

“Emma…”

“I know. I shouldn’t ask that. But… When I saw you there, with him… I had this… moment of… I don’t know… I was jealous.”

“Jealous…”

“Yeah. And yes, I can hear myself too…”

It was Regina’s turn to look away. She chose the darkened window were they were both reflected, paler versions of themselves. “What are you doing in Storybrooke, Emma? Were you not happy with your life?”

There was hurt in Regina’s voice. “It comes and goes. I like it better where I’m not a freak. But Snow called.”

“You never had any trouble ignoring her summons before.” Regina commented airily but there was a fake undertone to it.

“I know. This time, she sent Ruby.”

“You mother never could leave well enough alone.”

“No, never. I’m glad I came, though, in a way.”

“A very small way, I would expect…” Regina took one more sip of her cider and cradled the tumbler in her hand.

If Emma was any judge- and she was- Regina was nervous, rattled. _Good_ , the petty in Emma celebrated. She shrugged. It felt good being here. It felt good to sit in this quiet office across from the one person she had never really been able to forget. It felt too good. Enough to forget that Storybrooke was a hole in the wall, that she had a life- a bigger life- outside the town lines and that she didn’t have to stay.

She saw herself getting up and kneeling at Regina’s feet and picking up where they had left off. It was difficult not to do just that.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Ask, Emma. I can’t guarantee an answer, but I don’t think I can stop the question either.” Regina’s voice came out thick and gruff and Emma wondered if Regina had had the same instinct.

Emma leaned forward on her seat, elbows on her knees. “This thing with the shelter…” Immediately Regina’s back stiffened and she sat straighter. “Look… I don’t get it. Why now? I mean… I know my mom gets on your nerves like no one else, but… seriously… why does it bother you now? Can’t you get at her in some other way?”

“Emma…” There was a warning in that tone but Emma just had to go on.

“I checked the accounts.” _For which the word mess was a massive understatement._ “They never made any money out of that. They can’t really afford to relocate the shelter.”

“I’m sure you offered them money for that.”

“I did.” Emma admitted defeat. “She won’t take it. Look… I’ll help you. I’ll… I don’t know… You and I, we’ll... we’ll TPee the house and the shelter or… we can write obscenities on the walls…”

Regina gave her an unwilling, sad smile. “I knew it was you… when you were fifteen or so…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“TPeeing the Town Hall. I knew it.”

“How much trouble will I be in if I admit to that, Madam Mayor?” Emma flirted almost unconsciously.

“So you want to make up for it by taking me to do the same?” Regina lowered her glass into her lap and cocked her head, her expression a mixture of incredulity and amusement.

“It’s fun, Regina.”

“You and Henry really would get along well….” Cue in awkward silence and a deep flush tingeing Regina’s cheeks. “Emma…”

“Yeah?” God, was that her voice, so deep and needy?

“Persuade your parents to move their operation elsewhere.” _What? What happened to sex me up voice?_ Regina run her hand down her thigh and stood, that sinuous movement of hers that Emma knew so well. She harrumphed and put her glass down. “Your mother knows it’s best to move. She knows why.”

“Regina…” She didn’t mean for it to come out as a whine but it did.

“And then you can go back to that big wide world, back to your life away from us.”

“Us?”

“Storybrooke. Away from Storybrooke.” Regina amended quickly.

“What if I decide to stay?”

“Out of spite?”

“No….” _Yes…_

“Oh Emma…” But whatever Regina was about to say- or not say because she had hesitated just enough- was interrupted by the ringing of her cell. Regina picked up with a smile- that Emma immediately found herself envying- and took her coat while she spoke quietly, that same smile still in place. Emma found herself unable to move.

She was hiding in her phone. Literally. She did not once again raise her eyes to look at Emma. She had that secret smile of hers on, and the tone was quiet and she simply walked out leaving Emma behind.

Emma wondered if that was Graham on the phone.

…   …   …

By the next Friday, with her self-imposed deadline about to expire in a few hours, Emma was at wit’s end for three very good reasons:

          1-      Her mother still hadn’t agreed to relocate the Second Chance;

          2-      She hadn’t found a smoking gun to force Regina to quit on her plans (and she knew she wouldn’t)

          3-      She had the hots for Regina- again or still, she wasn’t sure of which (which meant she really didn’t feel like forcing Regina’s hand.)

To make matters worse, there were three very good reasons to stay:

         1-      Graham was sweet in a way she had not observed before and he renewed his offer of a job every day in the past week, a grown up, steady, safe job;

         2-      Henry was absolutely adorable and a cheeky flirt. He knew exactly how it felt to grow up in a place where time had literally stood still. The only person in the whole universe who could. And that made them kindred spirits;

         3-      She had the hots for Regina.

It was a double trifecta.

She sat down with her head buried in her elbows at the diner. She should, in short order:

         1-      Sleep with someone possibly out of town (aiming to get Regina out of her system)

         2-      Stop seeing Henry and quite possibly leave town

         3-      Absolutely not sleep with Regina for which she had to get out of town.

Except that when Graham sat next to her and showed her the deputy badge she grabbed it and didn’t let go. Which was, potentially, the worse thing she could have done.

Emma Swan of the Summerlands: the girl who had never found trouble not worth getting into.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 

The phone rang when Emma was coming out of the changing room in her deputy sheriff uniform, uber starched and complete with a tie and brass tie pin.

From the look in Graham’s face, she knew it was Regina on the line.

“Well, this salary is well within the budget.” Graham must have been handed his ass on a tray but he valiantly ploughed on, listening and not really running a commentary for Emma’s benefit. It spoke to Emma of loyalty. “Well, yes, Madam Mayor, it is my decision, after all.”

Okay, so the Huntsman had patted his pockets and found his balls in there. As far as she knew, no one had ever defied the Mayor and live to tell the tale- or at least felt like they should tell the tale. Respect. She liked Graham just a little more because of that.

“Are you sure it’s worth it?” Emma asked when he put the phone down, cheeks flushed and stewing something.

“I can always put laxative in her milk.” He mumbled.

“What?” Emma stuttered.

“Oh come on, Emma Swan of the Summerlands. I thought you of all people would appreciate the joke… being that you put quite the dose in my milk.”

“That’s not―”

“True? Yeah it is. Look… can we not do this?”

“What?” Emma asked genuinely one step behind.

“The lying. You and I, alright? We tell the truth.”

Emma studied him sideways, one way and the other. Graham stood there and let her without interrupting, offering himself to her scrutiny. “Alright. I did mix the Ex-Lax in your milk. Twice.”

“Jesus! What did I ever do to you?”

Emma shrugged. “Defy authority. In every form. It wasn’t personal…”

“Can you imagine if it had been?” Emma cocked her head and smiled. She had been indulging in those thoughts herself. Graham shook his though away. “Come on, let’s get some basics out of the way. Damn, you’re dangerous…”

…   …   …

 

All in all, the morning was fascinating… _not_. Being a deputy to a sheriff in possibly the smallest town in Maine had, perhaps its perks. Excitement and interesting work was not really one of them. At least, not until the commotion by the troll bridge.

The Sheriff department was called and Graham did his own version of a high speed attendance to the scene which meant that he drove a remarkable of five miles above the speed limit. It had Emma carving her nails into the passenger seat. Graham had a funny definition of emergency.

By the time they got there, Regina was already around, looking flushed but otherwise, calmly dusting her fractionally less than impeccable pant suit and directing the lovelorn permanent teenagers to go home.

“What happened?” Emma approached and found nothing better to do than to get all up in the Mayor’s personal space, not really by conscious decision but rather obeying the pull of Regina’s gravity.

Regina however, sidestepped her and addressed Graham, ignoring her. “Sheriff, please be so kind as to ensure this area is cordoned off.”

“Madam Mayor?”

“A new city ordinance has been passed, Sheriff, as the river bed and bridge are structurally unsafe. People intending on practising their amorous moves should choose a different location and stay away from this spot.”

Emma walked away from them, bothered, jealous and feeling a little mean. What on earth could be so dangerous about the Troll Bridge? This had been one of her haunts; she had come here often to get away from trouble or to find herself more. She had memories here, none of them dangerous. She’d swear Regina was doing this just to spite her.  From a distance, she looked at the pair again. Graham seemed to digest the news easily, nodding and conversing with a strange gravitas to his face. Regina swayed and Graham raised his hand to steady her but she pushed him off. That got Emma’s attention and walking back to them, almost running. But Regina got into her car and drove away, leaving behind her just silence.

“Is she okay?”

Graham only nodded but to Emma it was as if he was not convinced. “Right… What do we do?”

“We cordon off the area as requested by our glorious leader and go back to the station.”

…   …   …

“All I’m saying is that there is nothing dangerous about the river or the bridge. Nothing that a non-structural engineer – such as Regina- would know just by looking at it. Do you mean to tell me that she’s like Superman, with her X-ray vision?” Emma put her feet on the desk and slouched all the way on her swivel chair that belonged somewhere in the late seventies.

“And why would you say that? Did everything seem okay to you with that place?”

“Graham, if you believe Regina’s bullshit about it being unstable you’re even more gullible that I thought and deserve one more shot of that laxative in your milk.”

“Let me make a mental note to switch to black.”

“Yeah, you do that. I’m crafty, Graham.”

“God help me… Look, have a bear claw. Granny still makes the best in the whole world.” Emma reached for the box and bit into it with gusto. “See, you only needed a little sugar.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Right now, you sounded just like her…  You need to understand that Storybrooke changed since you left.”

“No it didn’t. And the proof is right here: she is still ruling this place like she’s a queen, no concern for anything except getting things her own away. And this thing, this city ordinance about the river and the bridge- that’s just her peeing on trees, marking her territory.”

“Emma… let me try this way.” He shoved her boots off the desk, effectively making her sit up and sat in front of her. “Things changed. Some things in Storybrooke are becoming dangerous. Regina is dealing with it the best she can. Maybe that’s not to your liking, but that’s the way it is.”

“I call bull―”

“No, stop. I told you- no lies. You haven’t been here long enough to see it, but it does not make it a lie.”

“God, Graham, that’s ridiculous. She’s making you believe this shit and you’re buying into it…”

“It’s not a lie.” A small voice said from behind Emma and her enormous bear claw.

Emma tossed her pastry back into the box and wiped her fingers on the thin paper napkin, stalling for time. “Look, kid… I just meant that...”

“I know what you meant. You think my mom is doing this on purpose.”

Graham just stood there, arms crossed, not saying a word. Clearly, he was not going to assist Emma in removing her foot from her mouth where it was firmly wedged. Classic. Suddenly, the sweet pastry had turned to ash in her mouth.  She didn’t want to hurt this kid for the world and, it seemed, that had just happened. The kid really took his mother’s side and was hurt on her behalf. The funny thing was that she had never had that kind of loyalty towards her parents.

“Kid… Henry…”

“Things changed since you left.” Henry stated calmly. “And I think you don’t have a clue of what you are talking about- about my mom and about the town. It is dangerous. If she closed it’s because it’s dangerous. And I know you don’t believe me because I’m just a kid, but I’m going to prove it to you.”

“Oh, come on, kid! You don’t have to prove anything.”

“Yeah, I do. I have to prove to you that my mom is not mean or a bad mayor.  I have to prove to you that she’s one of the good guys because you don’t know how to believe her anymore. You’ve been away far too long to remember the real her. So I’m going to prove it you.” And he walked out of station, stepping firmly on the ground, his steps solid as if they had roots on that soil.

“Kid, don’t do anything stupid…” Emma shouted after him, but Henry was gone.

…   …   …

Okay, so she had not imagined a job at the station to be this consistently boring: paperwork that had to be filled in – in duplicate- and Xeroxed and filed in alphabetised filing cabinets and copies sent to the Mayor’s Office. There were also working hours- set in shifts and holiday request forms and, damn it, this was not what she had expected the job to be. Where were the bad guys she had to give chase to and apprehend and lock up? Where were the high speed car chases?

She dropped her pen when she heard the clicking of heels and Regina’s voice, out of breath, rattled. Her stomach did a back flip and she gave Graham and panicked glance that she immediately tried to disguise.  “Graham? Is Henry here?”

Graham stood, nothing like his lazy movements- but snapping to attention. “Madam Mayor, no, the lad is not here.” Emma was about to make an acid remark when she saw Regina’s face, ashen, lined with worry. She snapped up from her seat, her hand on Regina’s arm, trying to offer comfort. “We’ll find him, Regina. Don’t be scared. We’ll find Henry.”

Regina looked from her arm to Emma. Emma dropped her hand though Regina’s eyes had nothing but concern in them. So this was Regina in Mamma Bear mode. Oh God.

“Any idea where he might have gone? Was he upset?”

“No. And I haven’t seen him. He just wasn’t home.”

There was something in Emma’s chest, something tight and painful when she thought of Henry on his own. If Regina was this worried, she was jumping into the bandwagon.  You just do not dismiss a mother’s concern. She took her phone and called her mom.

“I need a favour, mom.” Regina looked up at her, concern and hope in one single look. “Henry is missing.”

Her mother made a weird sound, something strangled in her throat. “I’ll get the animals looking. Do you have any idea where he might have gone? Was he upset?”

“He was. He was upset at me. Please, mom!”

“Don’t worry, Emma. We’ll find him.” Snow was going to say something else but thought the better of it and hung up.

Emma slumped onto a chair and rolled it towards Regina. “He was upset.”

“What did you do to my son?”

“I didn’t believe you.” Emma rubbed her forehead with her fingers, trying to release the pressure that had settled there.

“I see.” Regina whispered and Emma wanted nothing more than to have the courage to apologise, feeling like the lowest of the low. She looked up to Regina and saw a steely determination close on her features. She opted for silence knowing she was being nothing but a coward.

Her phone rang and Snow’s voice was agitated and tremulous. “He’s at the mine. Henry is at the old mine, Emma.”

Emma stood. “The kid’s at the mine.” She announced as she hung up. She was dashing towards the door, Graham and Regina right behind her when it hit: the ground shook, violently.

When it was over, Regina let go of the desk she had leant against and moved with unstoppable purpose out of the Sheriff’s station.

“Go with her.” She pushed Graham towards Regina’s Benz, knowing she would not be welcome- that she was not what Regina need at that moment.

She got into her bug and pressed on the gas, making her tires burn rubber on the tarmac. All she could think of was Henry at the bottom of the mine with the ground shaking. It hurt in her chest and she couldn’t breathe.

…   …   …

She saw Regina running out of her car and stand in the middle of the yellow sand entrance to the mine, blocked by boulders that had rolled down the hill, grey dust still dancing in the air. She saw her running to the boulders and try to move them with her bare hands. Emma ran and joined her, doing exactly the same.

There was no moving the boulders. Graham walked to them. “Madam Mayor.” He took a third attempt for her to listen.  “You have magic.”

That’s when she saw the tears staining Regina’s face. She took a deep breath and stood back. “Yes… I do.”

Emma saw her focusing and saw the purple magic gathering around her hands and the boulders start to move. But as they did, the ground shook again, dust and sand flying out of the debris at them in warning. Emma put her arms around Regina and covered their faces as much as she could. “Stop, Regina. Stop.”

“My son is in there.” She looked at Emma and she was pleading and Emma didn’t know what to do with that.

“We’ll get him out. Do you want to try again?”

Regina nodded and squared her shoulders and it would have been a thing of beauty to see, that gathering of courage, if it were not for the fear etched in Regina’s eyes.

She saw the magic gathering again and as it touched the boulders covering the entrance, again the ground shook.

“It’s like it’s warning us.” Emma commented.

Regina swayed on her feet. Emma reached to her to help her, but Regina just pulled her arm out of her reach.

“This is all your fault.” She spat at Emma. “You never consider the weight of you words, of your actions, no matter who gets hurt in the process. Henry is ten! He’s just ten!”

Knowing it to be true, Emma absorbed the blow. “We’ll find a way, Regina. I promise you, we’ll get your kid out.”

“Forgive me if your promises carry no weight with me.”

…   …   …

Emma sought some distance. She was doing Regina no good by being there. Instead, she walked around the entrance of the mine, trying to think, trying to get her brain to work because she knew the mine, she had played there, she had scared her mother shitless there. There were other ways, other ins and other outs and she just had to remember. She crouched on the ground and tried to clear her mind, tied to access her memories of being a kid.

And then, it was there, the air shaft, a subtle change in the terrain, a whoosh of air. She went down on her knees and swiped at the yellow, dried sand that covered the corrugated metal over it. It was there. And it was an in and, more importantly, it was an out. “Regina!” She screamed. “I found it. C’mere, I found it!”

Regina ran in her heels to her. She looked at the ground, at the sand falling down the narrow shaft that Emma had unearthed and covered her mouth with her hand, and Emma remembered that as Regina’s tell that she was overwhelmed. “It’s a whole on the ground” She said when her voice was a little less shaky.

“It’s an airshaft. I can go down. I’ll grab the kid and bring him back to you. And this is not a promise, Regina, this is a goddamned blood vow!”

Regina stared at her, tears dancing in her eyes. “I can’t hear him.”

“Listen. Do you Jedi shit and listen to him. I can hear him.”

“You’re lying.”

Emma sighed, because yes, she was, but she got carried away because hope was the one thing Regina needed. She closed her eyes and focused on the mine, on hearing Henry, his heart, his breathing, his blood in his veins. “Yes I can.” It surprised her that she could. That her magic was working for once like it should. “And you can too. C’mon Regina, listen to your son. He’s down there.”

Regina closed her eyes and remained silent. “I don’t know if it’s him or wishful thinking.”

“I’m going down.”

“Don’t be stupid, Emma. This thing is not finished shaking yet. You can kill my son if you cause this airshaft to collapse. You can get hurt.”

“It’s not gonna happen.”

“He’s my son. I’ll go down.” And she signalled for the fire engine with the tow and wench on the back. The vehicle approached slowly, weary of creating another movement of the soil.

“Regina, you’ve been a Mayor for god knows how long. You sit behind your desk every day. Let me go down. This is what a do for a living. Let me go.”

“You go down mine air shafts? No? I didn’t think so.”

“But I find people. You know the Charming motto.”

“Don’t remind me of your parents right now, Emma. I’ll go down. He’s scared and he needs me.” And she tossed her jacket on the floor and grabbed the look, trying to understand how to use it.

“We have to stop this!” Emma grabbed the hook and showed Regina the harness that was on the back of the truck. “It won’t accomplish anything.”

 “No, it won’t.” Regina sighed in defeat.

“What do you want me to do?” Emma asked as she held the harness between her and Regina, knowing she was the better option and showing it in the determined light in her eyes.

“Help me.” Regina’s voice cracked. “Bring me back my son, Emma.”

Emma put on the harness and looked Regina straight in the eye. “Listen: we have to keep that line straight, way from the walls of the shaft.  You can hold him when I bring him up. Safe and sound, I promise. But right now I need your help. Don’t let the shaft fall apart.”

Regina nodded, took a steadying breath and signalled for the driver of the fire engine to start lowering Emma down.

…   …   …

Regina saw Emma disappear into the narrow hole on the ground and closed her arms around her middle, trying to keep it together. When she saw the cable touch the sides of the hole and sand and stones slide down, she focused her magic on shoring it, on holding that lifeline to her son steady and true, trying to listen to her son’s breathing, trying to feel his heart beat inside her.

…   …   …

Emma tensed her shoulders and steadied her breathing, telling herself over and over not to do something stupid. When the light from above faded, she slowly clicked the flashlight hanging from her belt. The movement was enough to trickle another cascade of small debris from the side of the shaft. Maybe it was too late to not do anything stupid. Maybe this was as stupid as she could get- but since it seemed this was the only option to get Henry, she just kept going down the seemingly interminable hole.

…   …   …

Henry found shelter by what seemed to him to be Snow White’s crystal casket. As the ground shook and the whole mine shook around him, he had time to think that this might not have been such a genial idea because if he got hurt- or worse, he was going to leave his mom alone and he was not quite sure if she would survive another loss. Also, as plans went, this was stupid because angering whatever lived on the ground in Storybrooke now didn’t really prove anything to Emma unless she was willing to believe that his mere presence had caused it.

He opened his backpack and retrieved an Apollo bar that his mom absolutely could not find out he had. He was about to tear open the pack when he heard a soft stream of curse words and then light coming from somewhere above his head. He had to look down when a cloud of sand hit him but then, surrounded by dusty light, there she was, the saviour herself. _Holy crap!_

…   …   …  

“Hey kid. You okay?” Emma wanted to release the harness just so that she could get to kid faster but any movement and there would be no telling what would happen to the shaft so she tried her best not to move.

“You found me!” There was relief and joy and a little victory in Henry’s voice. He was also scared which Emma noticed by the way his voice cracked.

“Course I did. But we’re going to talk about this little stunt of yours. Your mom is up there, kid, looking as scared as I’ve ever seen her and I can tell you that look is a heartbreaker. This is kind of a shitty thing to do to her.” Her hand went to the buckle of the harness as soon as she felt the tips of her feet touch the ground.

As soon as she released the harness, the ground shook again, violently, bringing her to her knees under a shower of debris. Henry cowered under the shelter of the upturned casket. Emma crawled to him and held him to her, covering him with her bare arms and her torso. When the violent shaking stopped, she pulled Henry at arm’s length and studied him carefully for scrapes and bruises. Finding none, she hugged Henry to her again and called out to Regina, reached out to her with her mind, through the layers of rock and dusty air. _He’s alright, I’ve got him. He’s okay._

She felt the relief flood through her as if it had been her own to feel.

She got up and pulled Henry with her. “C’mon, kid. Let’s get the hell out of Dodge.” She hooked the harness and hugged Henry to her. “Look, the shaft is tight and there’s a danger that if we touch the sides it might collapse on us. So… Chill, don’t be scared. Trust me, alright? And don’t move.”

Henry nodded solemnly and put his arms around Emma’s waist. She again called out to Regina in her mind. _We’re ready._

The cable started pulling steadily and the ride up was smoother than the way down even though she had Henry’s added weight on the cable and his small but jerky movements. The shaft seemed to expand specifically to accommodate their bodies and then return to its previous form. It all told her that Regina had her finger on this, that she was holding that cable and shoring up the shaft with her magic.

As her head emerged from the shaft Regina exhaled a deep sigh but never lost concentration until Henry was out, not a scrape on him. Only then did Regina move, unsteady, shaky and sweaty. Emma could see that the magic had taken its toll on her but she couldn’t understand why. Regina was the most powerful being she knew, more so than all the fairies put together. She was releasing the harness as Henry ran to his mother, sliding into her arms and putting his arms her around her so tightly that Emma felt like she was perhaps intruding and yet she could not look away.

“I’m sorry mom, I’m so sorry!”

“What were you doing in there, Henry?” Regina asked, her smile so soft and tired that Emma wanted to pick her up and carry her somewhere safe and comfortable.

“Emma doesn’t believe you.”

“About what, Henry?” Regina asked, her eyes fixed on Emma still by the entrance to the shaft, her eyes as hard to Emma as they were soft to Henry.

“That the town is falling apart. That some places really are dangerous.”

“Kid…” Emma tried to apologise.

“I told you it was true, that you were wrong. Do you believe me now?” He asked from Regina’s arms. There was a pleading look in his mother’s eyes that Emma could not understand.

“Kid, it was an earthquake, it had nothing to do with magic.”

Henry’s look was laden with disappointment as was Regina’s. “Thank you for coming down to get me, Miss Swan.” He told her and walked away, his steps quick and nervous until he got into the car and closed the door.

“Henry came here to try and prove something to you. You should know that Henry doesn’t lie.” Regina’s body language became closed off, distant. “He shouldn’t have to prove anything to you. Not to you of all people.  Not him.” And she walked away, her arms closed tight around her torso, her face closed and stormy. _What happened to your lie detector, Emma?_ She heard in her bones and in her blood, Regina having used the same deep mental connection as when they were in the mine.

“Regina!” Emma screamed as Regina got into the car and drove away in a cloud of dust not bothering with seat belt- probably to save time. ”What the hell does that mean?”

“Come on, Deputy. Let’s cordon off the area.” Graham appeared by her side holding a roll of police tape in his hand. “And for future reference, she’s right: Henry doesn’t lie.”

“Huh?”

“He reminds me of you actually: very poor liar when he tries.”

…   …   …

She was mad and she would rather have her mad in peace. Graham, however, was relentless and he sat in the Bug demanding that she drove him to the station and that they fill in the paperwork for the incident and all in all, she just found herself roped in and doing as he asked. She cheated a little on her paperwork. She used all sorts of abbreviations and was stingy on the details and if Regina wanted to have a go at her then so be it, she would welcome that. When she closed the manila envelope to send to the Mayor’s office, Graham placed a shot glass in front of her, the bottle between them and his ass on a chair that he dragged to the visitor side of her desk.

“Bottoms up, Emma Swan.”

Emma took the small glass in her hand and raised it. Graham clinked it and down his whiskey with a shudder. Emma drank hers without a reaction.

“You look like you could use it.” Graham commented and poured on more shot.

“If you’re trying to get me drunk, Sheriff, I promise you that I’m usually the last man standing.”

“It’s not a competition. I just thought you might need a little something after today.”

Emma downed her second shot without waiting for Graham. “I didn’t know that Storybrooke was prone to earthquakes.”

Graham leaned back. “It’s not.”

“So what, you’re going to tell me you think the kid is right?”

“Would you believe me if I did?”

Emma reached for the bottle herself and poured two more. “What’s your excuse?”

“Do I need one?”

Emma sighed. “It was a coincidence.”

“And you’re lying to yourself, which is the worst kind of lie, Emma.” He leaned on his elbows and moved forward, his finger making his point on the table. “You think Henry believes Regina because she’s his mother and that I believe her because I’m sleeping with her.”

Emma’s fingers turned white around the shot glass. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Henry is a very clever little boy. And I’m not sleeping with her anymore.”

“You don’t have to―”

“I told you: no lies, Emma.”

“So what? Did you just end it? Just like that? And she let you walk away?”

“Would you prefer the alternative? Would that make you feel better? More justified in your distrust?”

“No…”

“There you go, lying again. I told you, Emma, you are not a very good liar.”

“Why did it end?”

Graham sighed and rubbed at his chest, right over his heart. “Because…” He hesitated and downed his drink. “Because it wasn’t right…” He took the bottle and poured them two more shots. This time, the whiskey missed the glass just a little. “… not anymore…”

It didn’t look like he was talking to her anymore so Emma let it drop. “Henry was so scared.”

“I told you he is a very clever little boy. Anyone would be scared in those circumstances.”

“I was scared too.”

This time, Graham left his glass where it was. “That’s actually surprising… I would not have pegged you for the type.”

“For him. About him… I don’t know. I kept on thinking that I was going to lose him. Except he is not mine to lose, you know? He’s just a boy that bought me a drink as if we were in some RomCom.”

“He’s quite something, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. He has this smile… like he knows what you’ve done and he still forgives you for it…”

“Don’t doubt this, Emma: you and Henry have so much in common.”

Emma straightened in her chair. “How do you know?”

“I saw you both growing up. You’re both this little force of nature, so stubborn and with such a beautiful heart.”

Emma had another shot. “She had a baby with someone else, Graham.”

Graham mired Emma with interest. “And you’re jealous. But, Emma, you’re the one who left.”

Oh god, she was going to cry. “I know.” She was going to make a fool of herself in front of Graham about a woman that had made a baby with someone else right as she had left town. “I’m such an idiot.”

Graham slid his chair to her side of the desk and opened his arms to Emma. “Only because you both are too stubborn to talk to each other.”

Emma fell into the embrace and closed her eyes. It felt good to have a friend. It felt good to have his arms around her offering solace. It felt good to have his breath on her neck and his hand rubbing her back in that soothing, unassuming rhythm of his.

Naturally, she reacted the only way she knew how: she lifted her head from Graham’s shoulder and kissed him, softly and then with more and more desperation until she felt the pressure on her shoulders of Graham pushing her away. “Stop, Emma. You had a long day, that’s all. You really don’t want to do this. Not with me any way.”

“Why?” Emma struggled with the fogging of her vision, with the feeling that this was just wrong.

“Because you were a child to me, Emma.” He smoothed a lock of her hair between his fingers and gave her smile that reeked of understanding. “I saw you growing up, I bounced you on my knee. We may look the same age now but I assure you we are not.”

“Is it because of her? Is it because you are sleeping with her?”

“That would complicate matters yes, but no, that’s not why. And I told you, that is no longer the case.”

“So it doesn’t matter.” And she leaned into him and kissed him again. She thought he was pushing her away when he pushed against her again but she opened her eyes to see him clutching at his chest and his face scrunched in agony.

“It does.” He grabbed her hand and looked at her, straight in the eye. “For you.” And he fell against her, clutching at his heart, and slumped to the floor.

“Graham!” Emma collapsed under him, trying to hold his weight but in vain. She rolled him face up and checked for a pulse, for breathing, for anything at all. There was absolutely nothing as his fingers relaxed against the uniform shirt he had been clutching at.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 

The funeral of the Huntsman was a state affair. People came out in their finery and lined the streets, followed the casket and gathered by the grave to pay their last respects. Graham had been respected, esteemed and, in death, as these things usually do, aggrandised and in a way that would have made him uncomfortable. Emma stood by as the casket was lowered to the ground. Across from her, on the other side of the grave, Regina stood in dark sun glasses, composed, Henry by her side, holding on to her, but otherwise bored as children do. With his easy rapport and witty banter, it was easy to forget he was only ten. Emma was reminded of that as he stood there against the dark stormy sky, so young against the backdrop of fresh death.

For her part, Emma was off the minute she could which was when she dropped her one white rose over the dark cedar wood casket.

She made a stop by her father’s liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of Johnny W which she took cradled in her hand to the beach. She sat on the old rickety castle staring at the sea and drinking. She couldn’t help but miss Graham. Out of everyone who wanted her to stay, he had been the one to give her a purpose, to give her a reason to stay that did not revolve around her parents and her saviour fame. And she had behaved like shit with him. That little stunt with the kiss had been… well, mortifying.

She was reminded of when she was a little girl and he used to pick her up and lift her in the air and call her Emma the Comet. He populated her childhood memories: the Hunter who had saved her mother from the Evil Queen.

It was difficult to reconcile that, the tall bearded man of her childhood with the hunk that had she had shared a workspace with, coffee and bear claws and conversations about the world outside as if she were a window to a life he hadn’t believed he was entitled to. There seemed to be a bracket there.

She took a few hard swigs of her bottle. She remembered the hushed conversations between the citizens of Storybrooke about him and Regina. About how she had his heart in a box, how she made him do her bidding still because of that.

She never had been too keen on town gossip. That was something her mother indulged in. She had been too young, too restless for that, but now she had to wonder. Since the curse had broken, why hadn’t Graham married? Why hadn’t he found someone he liked, that liked him too and made a life with them? He had never mentioned Regina with any sort of deep affection, with any sort of unrequited love. It was as if he had been disconnected from everything.

Maybe the rumours were true. Maybe she had his heart still and that was why he had never fallen in love. She drank more and more, trying to make things make sense, trying to have liquor do all the hard math her addled brain couldn’t.

It just didn’t adding up, that relationship Graham and Regina had, so… disconnected.

…   …   …

The bottle was nearly half way, the burning in her belly starting to become pleasant rather painful. She opened her documents on her phone and opened the autopsy report for which she had hacked the Town’s mainframe system. Not that it had been at all difficult. She had been saving it for when she could get drunk.

Now, she was dreading the moment she would read the astonished remark about how the corpse of the town sheriff was missing a heart but scanning through it, the report listed as cause of death a chronic cardiomyopathy, of congenital origin, not the absence of a heart. She googled cardiomyopathy. Storybrooke High did not have the best – or most reliable- science teachers. She went back to the report. Everything else was fine- but Graham’s heart was twice the expected size. That heart of his had been a ticking bomb.

According to the autopsy.

Which, with all the alcohol in her blood, she was quite sure she didn’t trust. Magic sorted all manner of sins in Storybrooke, this would be, after all, just one more. Though, again, when she asked herself, why and why now, she came two full stops short of an answer.

Chilled from the misty air of the Atlantic, Emma struggled to her feet. The next she knew, she found herself outside the Mayor’s office. It seemed to her she was ending up in that part of town more often than she cared for.

The light in Regina’s office was dimed and sad and it called out to her. She did a quick scan of the building, opening her senses and her magic. Regina was alone in her office and Emma could smell the sadness in the air.

She made her way up the marble staircase, her boots slipping harshly against the polished stone, whispering to her how bad of an idea this really was, to seek out Regina. But of course, the sane part of her brain was just too inebriated to care.

She waited by the door for a beat. The silence was so deep that she couldn’t even hear Regina breathing. Carefully, she pushed at the glass of door and saw her sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest and a glass of something clear, white and neat in her glass on the floor. It did not smell of water.

She leaned against the door and waited a beat. Regina didn’t look up when she spoke. “Are you going to stay there all night?”

Lazily, Emma pushed away from the door and moved to sit on the floor by Regina. She crossed her legs deliberately, a show of defiance impossibly tinged with sympathy _._

“You’re upset…” Emma leaned against the stark white wall and found a spot on the ceiling she could look at so that she didn’t have to look at Regina. It didn’t matter because she could feel it, solid in the air between them.

Regina took the tumbler to her lips and swallowed long and deep. “Whatever gave you your first clue?” She blinked and harrumphed to clear her throat. Okay, so the move, Emma figured, hadn’t gone as smoothly as she had expected. _Ah!_

“I am that perceptive.”

“Hmm.” Regina hummed vaguely. “What have you come here for, Emma?”

Emma took a swig of her own bottle and shrugged. “I’m drunk.”

“I see.” Regina pressed up on her hand to get up and create some distance between them both.

“Don’t.” Emma asked softly. Regina slumped back onto her place on the floor. “All I mean is that resisting the pull of you is a lot more complicated when I’m drunk.”

“That explanation is not your best work, Emma… Swan.”

“I know. But at least it’s true.”

“You really want your distance from me, don’t you?” She sighed and stared at the contents of the glass in her hand.

“I know you don’t think much of me, Regina but I am trying to not be that person…”

“Hmm… And what person is that?”

Emma put the bottle down and wiped her palms on her jeans. She looked at Regina, in her funeral black dress, black heels, black stockings. “I remember you naked.”

“Emma…”

“I remember how you whispered my name. I remember how you tasted when I went down on you. I remember how you feel on my tongue… And I’m trying not to… because I don’t have a right to any of that anymore but… sitting here… seeing you on the street… It’s fucking hard, Regina. I fucked up your life before. I’m trying to be the person that doesn’t do it again…”

“You didn’t… do that.” Regina pressed the heel of her hand to her eyes, trying to push back the pressure she felt inside her head.

“You still don’t swear?” Emma went back to staring at the ceiling.

“It’s not a personality flaw, Emma.”

Emma smiled despite herself. “No, but pride is.”

“Oh?”

“I did. I fucked it all up for you. You had a sweet deal here with this town. You paid dearly for it and I just...” She snorted and shoot her head.

“Emma… you might not believe me, but I don’t regret a single moment. It turned out to be... for the best.”

Emma could feel Regina’s gaze on her and the ceiling had nothing to offer against it. She gave in and turned to stare right at Regina, right into her eyes. There it was, that gravitational pull she had always felt towards Regina, as if she were the sun and Emma just a bleak little planet. And it was just as unavoidable.

She wouldn’t know if she moved first- probably she did- but Regina still tasted the same, still felt the same and Emma had kissed a lot of people trying to drown out the memory of her texture, of her flavour and it had all been for nothing and so, so stupid because all she had ever wanted was right here. She did know, however, that she was the one who pulled back, startled, scared.

 For a moment, they both looked straight ahead, into the darkness of the office.

“Did you kiss him like this, Emma? Did you kiss Graham?” Regina asked, her hand clutching Emma’s shoulder, undecided between pushing away or pulling Emma back to her.

“Are you jealous, Regina? Of him or me? He told me that you had stopped seeing him.”

Regina wiped a furious tear with the heel of her hand and closed her hand around the glass hard, closing herself off. Emma took Regina’s hand and sought the hint of moisture there. Regina was gorgeous even when she cried. “Who is that for? Me or the Hunter?”

“Both, if you must know. He moved on quickly enough for someone who didn’t want to stop. And you…”

“What?” Emma asked though her throat had closed tightly around her words.

Regina just shook her head, sadly. “You started sleeping with him very quickly.”

“I didn’t.”

“I don’t believe you, Emma. You were two peas in a pod, these last few days.”

Something snapped in Emma, some recognition steeped in pettiness and dismay. “Is that why you killed him?”

“I didn’t.” Regina’s voice broke a little and another tear rolled down her cheek.

“Everybody says you have his heart in a box somewhere.”

“Emma, please believe me: I didn’t kill Graham. We were… friends… friendly… I… He was there for me when I… When Henry was born… That heart was not mine to keep… Never mind.”

“Yeah, friends with benefits, huh? Man… All these years, Regina, all these years and I… you know what? Fuck it! Fuck you.” But her hand held Regina’s tighter, didn’t let her go. Her fingers caressed the knuckles, so cold, tried to give Regina some warmth. God, she was so drunk there was no though process, only spinning, colliding thoughts that made no sense. “I’m so tired of this bullshit place, of this bullshit people, of this bullshit life. I don’t know how you do it, how you stay here.”

Regina tried to pull back her hand, as if she had been stung but Emma just held on tighter. In the end, Regina surrendered. “Because I can’t leave, Emma.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… it doesn’t matter.” Regina stared at their linked hands and rubbed her thumb over the soft back of Emma’s hand.

“I wish you would start completing your sentences, give me some real answers. Like why the fuck are you at the scene every time the cops get called in? I mean, you were hands on, but I never knew you to be this much of a micromanager.”

Regina accepted the change of subject with a sigh pulling her hand back to the safety of her torso. “Things have changed… since you left.”

“Yeah… tell me about it. Henry for once. Henry’s new in your life. You didn’t have a Henry when I was around. How did you get a Henry, huh, Regina?” Emma’s fingers tightened around Regina’s fingers.

“The same way other mothers get their children, Emma.” Regina took a deep breath and got lost in the depth of Emma’s expression. “I’m no different. I loved someone very much and we had… I had a child. That’s all.”

Emma couldn’t stand the intensity of Regina’s gaze. She focused on their hands together on the floor, between them. She made a conscious effort to relieve the pressure. “So what happened to that great love, then, uh?” It was hard, though, with the bitterness that rose in her like bile and burned, burned, burned.

“It didn’t.... It wasn’t... It wasn’t meant to last... I think”

Emma deflated. Regina’s tone was so sad. She had wanted to see world and now, having seen it was not all that she had expected, here she was back to the start, watching in slow motion as her chance finished slipping through her fingers. “Are you still in love, then?” Oh god, let it be _no._

“Yes, I am.” Regina spoke with certainty and her eyes lit up when she said it. And to Emma it felt as if there was so much to say and she just couldn’t muster the courage. It broke Emma’s heart- for them both, Regina and her lost love and for herself.

“Then why don’t you do something about it?”

Regina pulled her hand back to the safety of her torso, the light that had been there in her eyes, in that affirmation of love, dimmed, dimmed until it was all but gone. “Because I can’t.” And there was a fatalism in her voice that Emma at once appreciated and hated because Regina should not have been left alone like this, not a second time, not when there was a Henry involved and enjoying it none the less because then at least Regina might possibly know something about what she was feeling right at that moment.

_Fuck_. And damned it all to hell. Emma struggled to get up, drunk as she was aiming to leave without looking back, equal measures angry and devastated that it was no longer a possibility to kiss Regina and make all the years go away. She had always believed Storybrooke to be unchangeable and the moment she had turned her back, all she had ever loved had changed irrevocably. 

She kissed the palm of Regina’s hand and walked away, taking only the ghost of that hand in hers.

…   …  …

Emma was still nursing a headache that had lasted well beyond what was reasonable for any hangover. There had been no aspirin, no Tylenol, no combination of both, no hair from the dog that bit you that could cure that hangover nor the misery that went along with it.

It all seemed hopeless, cloying. As if it had been closing in on her, suffocating her. Just like when she’d been a kid. And just like then, she had shrugged off her parents, Ruby, Belle, everyone and relief seemed to be anywhere but here. It was perhaps time to leave, to go back to her future and leave the past behind in Storybrooke where it belonged.

She had Snow’s largest sunglasses on and was sitting on the old rickety castle on the beach when Henry sat next to her, startling her from her brood.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself, kid.” She went back to her brooding not sure if she was happy for the company or just plain needy.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m doing here?” Henry asked, his voice ominous.

“I figure you’ll tell me anyway.” She looked at the kid and then back to the horizon. There was something about this kid that was fascinating. She had never liked kids much. Henry was different.

“I’m worried.”

“What about?”

Henry sighed. “Everything…”

“Huh… maybe you should break it down a little… make it more manageable…” She suggested. “Maybe one problem at a time, you know…”

Henry gave her a studious look but there was no smile and she found that not only she missed that smile but that it worried her. “I’m worried about my mom.”

That made her heart thump violently in her chest. “What’s wrong with Regina?”

Henry cheeks pinched in a smile that he quickly transformed back into his sad expression. “She’s sad.”

_Ah…_ “She’ll get over it” _Fucking Graham…._

“Aren’t you worried about my mom?”

“Why should I?” Emma pulled her sunglasses up to get a better look at Henry but immediately regretted it.

Henry didn’t offer a reply. “I’m worried about you, too.”

“Thanks, kid… But why me?”

“Because you’re sad too.”

Emma ran her fingers through Henry’s dark hair. God, she was falling in love with the kid and what the hell was wrong with her. She had never liked kids anyway… “Yeah, well Graham was a friend.”

Again Henry looked at her square in the eye but made no comment. “And about the town.”

“Kid, you worry too much.”

“Yeah, I know. Someone has to.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and followed the flight of a seagull.

“Worry?”

“Yeah. About my mom, about you, about the town.”

Emma pulled Henry to her in a sideways hug. “Kid, you’re too young to be this old.”

“Yes, yes I am. I can’t sleep at night.”

“Oh, Henry… did you talk to your mom about this?” Henry offered no reply but he focused a penetrating stare on her. “You need to talk to someone about this. Get some help.”

“I am. I’m talking to you.”

“Me? Kid, despite what people say, I’m no saviour. You’d be better off asking someone else.”

“We don’t have anyone else to ask…”

That gave Emma pause and that now familiar ache in the pit of her stomach. Regina should have had her love by her side and Henry should have had a dad. “I’ll tell what: What about I keep an eye on your mom for a while.”

“Promise?” Henry’s freckles lit up and there was a joy in his eyes that made Emma smile despite the miserable hangover.

“Yeah. I promise.”

It appeared she was not going anywhere...

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 

The worst thing about having a good brooding interrupted was the sense of disorientation and a lingering irritation. Emma was busy, very, very busy brooding on important things like… was Regina’s lipstick still the same, because it was a subtly different shade but it still tasted the same. Had she changed her perfume? Why had she changed her perfume? It was still the same but there was note of something else underlying it. How had her body changed after Henry? Had it changed at all? So when Leroy stumbled down the street shouting _help, help_ and doing a damn good impersonation of an ambulance siren, Emma could not help but be irritated as she looked up from the cup she had been staring into. The disorientation cost a few seconds to focus on her current job situation: she was what remained of the town’s law enforcement.

“Well, Butthead, aren’t you going to do something about whatever bee Grumpy has under his bonnet?” Ruby nudged her from the seat as she stood in the middle of the dinner staring pointedly at Emma.

“Oh… Yeah…”

“Regina is probably already there anyway…”

And that was one alarm sound Emma understood. She patted her back for her service weapon and walked to the door. “You should be a mom, Ruby.” She tossed as she grabbed her jacket and palmed her car keys. “You already have the disapproving tone down pat.”

She grabbed an out of breath Leroy to get from him the location of the emergency. Her heart had a painful jolt when he dwarf mentioned that the wooden castle on the waterfront and how it was like it was being sucked into the ground.

She let go of his arm and got into the bug thanking all her lucky stars that the little car chose that day to start at the first attempt.

…   …   …

When she finally got to the beach, Regina had one of her ankle breakers in her hand and was shaking off the sand from it and the old castle was a pile of sea worn timber on the sand. Regina didn’t look up to see Emma approaching though the princess knew for a fact that Regina had heard her as the doors of the bug closed with all the subtlety of farm gates.

 She took a moment to assess the damage: the castle was gone and Regina was sweaty and rumpled, pale and, generally looking like she was about to collapse. Emma’s first thought was about Regina being ill. As were the second and third.

Cautiously, she approached.

Regina calmly set her shoe on the floor and wiped her foot with her hand before slipping it elegantly into the heeled work of art she was wearing and turn to face Emma.

“What are you doing here, Miss Swan?”

“My job.” Emma offered with a lopsided smile.

“Alright. Then cordon off the area. New city ordinance.” Regina stared at the pile of wood. “I’ll get a crew to clean that up. Someone might just think it’s a good spot for getting up to no good.”

Emma took the jab with barely a flinch. “What happened here?”

“The same that happened by the bridge.” Regina replied and it sounded to Emma as if there was more the Mayor wanted to say but she seemed to think the better of it. “How are your parents doing with the move?”

That had the effect to anger Emma, to obliterate that curiosity at Regina’s tone, the exhaustion in it and the tiny speck of hope she had heard in it. Absolutely crushed it. “You know that I’m not just gonna take your city ordinances as gospel, right? I’m not sheep like Graham.”

“No, you’re not.” Regina sneered demonstrating the assessment as painfully obvious. “But I still expect you to enforce what your Mayor is telling you, Deputy.”

…   …   …

Emma did cordon off the area. If these freak events kept on happening, pretty soon Storybrooke would be nothing but a patchwork of cordoned off areas and nothing left for them to step on. It was frustrating. It was madness.

Emma returned to the station for the first time since the funeral. The box with the stale bear claw was still on her desk and the chairs still as they been hastily pushed out of the way when the paramedics had come in.

She took a moment to collect herself and pushed the furniture back and tossed the pastry box in the garbage can. The she opened the post – because she was not done brooding- and a very official looking copy of Graham’s autopsy report slid out of a manila envelope. She scanned through it and mentally compared it to the file she had hacked into on the town mainframe. It was in no way different: a heart in his chest, no bits missing, just an abnormally large heart, some sort of congenital defect.

 Could magic make it look like that?

Would Regina do it? The Regina that had taken her in when she was a troublemaker, the Regina that she had loved probably would. There was a fire that burned in her, an imperative to defend what she thought was hers. She was well aware of Regina’s past. And the honesty – if misery – of it did nothing- had done nothing to make her less lovable. Even in the face of all the do gooders in town and their stories of horrors beyond her imagination. Emma had loved the tortured, lonely woman behind the title. She had loved the little parts of Regina that been protected by the existence of the Evil Queen. She had loved Regina knowing every single one of her sins and peccadilloes because she had never pretended to be any other than what she truly was.

She had loved Regina then and now, being back to the start, it was beginning to look - and feel- a lot like she still did. For her own many sins.

When she looked at Regina now, at the Regina that hugged her kid so fiercely, she just couldn’t see it. She couldn’t see this Regina killing Graham. No matter what was between them. Or precisely because of that.

There was something though. Something in the air that told her that she didn’t know the full story, that someone was not telling her. Not a lie, no really, but not the full story, nonetheless.

She tossed the autopsy report on her desk and picked it up again.

This was so not part of the plan.

So not the life she had chosen and carved out for herself away from Storybrooke.

…   …   …

She procrastinated. That was one of her very best qualities. She procrastinated not only making a decision about she was doing with her life, she managed to procrastinate even thinking about it. She dragged herself through the days, avoiding Regina consciously and then seeking her out when the need was too great. She watched the house from the bug, at a safe distance. She watched her in her office. She passed by her car parked in its designated spot.

And refused to think about it.

Henry, for his part, sought her out. He dropped by the station after school and meeting her at Granny’s and she couldn’t help but wonder when Regina would finally snap at that new routine in the kid’s life.

Emma saw her watching them, sitting in her car outside Granny’s. Henry smiled at her and picked up his backpack. She had asked if he’d be in trouble but he had simply waved her a cheeky goodbye and gotten in the car with his mom. She had hugged him fiercely and checked him over and asked questions that Emma had not been able to discern and then drove away. Didn’t seem like any trouble at all.

It just seemed like a family. Something very much like what she could have had if she had stayed.

…   …   …

The box with Graham’s belongings was still there, on the spare desk, with the clothes he had been wearing, his boots, his service weapon, even the tic tacs. She hadn’t had the heart to go through it. Didn’t feel she had the right to, but Regina had claimed nothing of it and it all just looked as lonely as Graham had lived. She picked up the badge and turned it in her fingers, feeling the cool touch of the gold plating on it.

Graham had offered her a reason to stay, a living that did not revolve around her parents. In a way, he had opened up Storybrooke for her. And now, here she was, not even missing her life in Boston. She would never had said she was lonely there but now that she was back, now that there were so many people around her, it was difficult not to look back and see it, see the loneliness, an emptiness, even. It was even more difficult not to look at this life and see how much she liked it. How much she’d missed it, even if everything had stayed the same.

She closed the star in her palm and let it mark her skin. She wanted something in Storybrooke to make an impression on her the way nothing of the outside world had.

“Oh, that’s not for you.” Regina’s voice surprised her. She hadn’t heard the tell-tale clicking of the heels. She didn’t put the badge down.

”It’s been two weeks. Promotion is automatic.” She said in a tired tone and taking in Regina’s exhausted appearance.

“Unless the Mayor appoints someone within that period. Which I’m doing today.”

Well, that was news. “So, who is it going to be?”

“After due reflection, Sidney Glass.”

To Emma, Regina sounded defeated and tired but Sidney? _Fuck-a-doodle-doo._ “Your mirror? Regina... You have got to be kidding me.”

“On the contrary.”

“Yeah, I can see how that makes sense.” It didn’t. Regina didn’t even like the guy all that much, the same way she disliked all other spineless cowards in town.

“It does. He’s covered the Sheriff’s office for as long as anyone can remember…”

“That and he’s got his tongue so far up your ass that he can taste your lipstick. Shit Regina. Let me do this. I can be good at this.”

There was a moment of pause when Regina let the exhaustion filter through her layers of careful makeup and perfection. “I didn’t know you wanted to stay. I don’t think you know if you want to stay either.” She paused, maybe waiting for Emma to fill in the question she had not really uttered. “The town is not a hobby, Emma… It can’t be.”

“I…” They were so close and there was this force that kept on pulling them into each other and for a moment she saw it, she saw how they would kiss. She remembered that body without clothes, she remembered the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her. Whimpering would be so inappropriate.

But Regina took a step back and shook her head as if she’d been pushing away a bad thought. “Go away Emma. Go back to your life. Don’t toy with… Storybrooke. Please.”

And with that, she got the badge out of Emma’s hand and walked away.

…   …   …

Emma slumped into her chair. How was she supposed to keep an eye on things if Regina had just as good as taken her job way? She would never be able to work under that snivelling sunovabitch Sidney, with his nose always up Regina’s skirts. She very much doubted that he would keep her as a deputy anyway, given that it was in the Sheriff’s purview to hire his own deputies. And Sidney did not much like her either. Not since she had broken into his office and amended his editorial to a long sequence of swear words which he had printed without further checking. She smiled at the memory. Yep, she’d had fun growing up in Storybrooke. So much fun.

The pisser was that she was actually good at this job. She’d make a good Sheriff. And she could keep her promise to Henry and she could keep an eye on Regina. Maybe the best thing was to cut her losses and go back home before Sidney, of all people, had the pleasure to sack her.

Mr Gold chose that particular moment to wobble into the station. She had always wondered how he moved without sound with that bum foot of his. He surprised her at her desk, wrapping and unwrapping one of Graham’s shoe laces around her fingers.

“Princess.” He greeted. He had one of those tones of voice that could insult you just by saying your name without even trying.

“It’s Swan now, Mr Gold.”

He seemed to consider, give it weight and then his face pinched into a couple of lines of what could- perhaps- be a smile. “Miss Swan. How appropriate…”

“What can I do for you, Mr Gold?”

“Believe it or not, Miss Swan, I believe I am about to do something for you.”

Emma snorted. “Yeah, right. How much?”

“I do believe, Miss Swan, that was an attempt at an insult.”

“Yeah, I’m clumsy that way.”

“Think nothing of it, think nothing of it. I make no apologies for my ways. Now, I took time of my day to come here and assist you in your promise to young Master Henry.”

“Why?”

“Well, because, believe it or not, I like you better than that genie out of the bottle. And because I enjoy seeing old Regina’s panties in a twist. I do believe we share a hobby, Miss Swan. Now. Would you like to hear what I have to say or are you really hell bent on sulking your way through life?”

“Look, if this means hurting Regina in any way, count me out.”

“Oooh… Young love… that explains why you have always been pulling at her pig tails... But no, Miss Swan. It’s simple attention to detail.”

“Go on. Spit it out.”

…   …   …

It was simple, really. Nothing too dramatic. But trust Gold to actually read the town charter… The question was, was she really willing to upset Regina further and, more importantly, take on a _permanent_ job in Storybrooke of all places.

Henry marched into the station and tossed his backpack on the desk in front of her.

“You know, right now my mom is the Town Hall appointing that Sidney Glass slime ball. Are you really going to let her?”

“Kid, I think your mom knows what she’s doing.”

“She’s just out of options, Emma!” He shouted and crossed his arms in a way that was all Regina. “He can’t help. He just wants the job so that he can be close to her and _smell_ her all the time. He’s a creep.”

“Smell her? Henry…”

“Emma, I know I’m kid, but believe me, I know when someone is looking at my mom _that_ way. And Sidney is.” Emma nodded because she knew that. It had always been that way. Even when she had been a kid. “Besides: you promised, Emma. You promised you would keep an eye on things.”

“Yeah… I know.”

“Look… Can I be honest?”

“Sure.”

“I like you. I need you to be here. I… I like that you are like me, you know, the kid who grows up… Please stay… Be the Sheriff. For me…”

Emma stared at the kid. She didn’t understand how she couldn’t say no, how she really wanted to stay. She put her hand forward and they shook on it, a silent understanding.

“Now run or it will be too late.”

…   …   …

Emma would not be such a liar to say that it didn’t give her some twisted little pleasure to interrupt Regina as she, in great fanfare, held out Graham’s badge- her damned badge- to Sidney.

“Hang on a second!” She called out from the door. Why was Regina doing this with so many people around? She had never needed this kind of bullshit before, being a true oligarch. It was odd. And Emma disliked odd. She also enjoyed seeing Regina falter.

“Oh, Miss Swan, this is not appropriate timing!”

“The only thing that is not appropriate is this ceremony.” And working the crowd may not have come as naturally to her as it did to Regina but she was damned well going to give it a good go. “She does not have the power to appoint him.”

And yes, okay, she also lacked the presence and the command over the rabble, but she had gotten their attention. And Regina’s. Ah!

“The town charter clearly states that the Mayor may appoint-“

“A candidate.” Emma interrupted trying not to look cocky. “You may appoint a candidate. It calls for an election.”

“The term candidate is applied loosely.” And she could tell Regina was rattled. A small, disgusting part of herself shouted _bingo!_

“No, it’s not. It requires an election. And guess what, Madam Mayor? I’m running!”

There was a moment of suspended animation. Regina said something that she didn’t hear as the flashlights of the cameras started going off as fireworks and it was as if they were the only ones in that room.

God, she had missed Regina.

…   …   …

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Snow asked as she smoothed Emma’s hair down her back. Emma plunged her hand inside the cookie jar and dunked the chocolate chip cookie into her glass of Jose Cuervo. Whatever else could be said about her father’s tastes and breeding, at least he knew his liquor. She let the cookie melt in her mouth and spread the burning all the way down to her stomach.

“Nope. No clue. But here’s the thing, Snow: you wanted me to stay, right? Well, I’m staying. So… you know… prepare yourself, ‘cause I don’t think Regina is okay with this.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me to leave Storybrooke. That was a pretty good indication…” Emma shrugged and continued dunking the cookie.

“She threatened you?” Her mother’s tone rose in pitch, but it was more surprise than anger.

“Worse.”

“Worse? What could possibly be worse?”

“She looked sad and tired when she asked- _asked_ \- me to leave.” Emma rubbed her palms on her jeans and stared at her mother.

“She asked you to leave?”

“Uh huh.” Emma didn’t know what she had expected her mother to say. Snow nodding calmly –and sadly- had not been one of those things. No, at all.

“So… how are you going to campaign?”

“Campaign? Snow, I’m doing the job. I’m going to do it the best I can, and I’ll let actions speak louder than words.”

“Emma, sweetie…” Snow used the same tone she used with her students. “If you want the job, if you really want to be the Sheriff, you must show Regina that you mean business.”

“Regina has her candidate, mom…”

“Sidney Glass? Come on, Emma, you know she’s settling- and not even for second best. You must prove it to her, how much you want it.”

“Right… Do you have any more cookies?”

Snow got up and got a tin from the back of the cupboard. “I was saving these for a special occasion…” She opened the tin and the scent of maple and pecan cookies filled the room.

“Oh…”

“I’d say this is special enough… Now tell me… How are you going to campaign?”

“I have no idea. I never ran for anything. A ran away… That I’m good at. Running for… not so much.”

“Well, you were always very good at running into trouble. Why don’t you apply the same determination now?” Snow took a cookie for herself and bit into it.

Emma offered no other reply than to dunk her extra special cookie. And chase it with a swig of her extra special pal Jose.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The door bell rang. When David answered, Henry was on the other side, waiting, backpack slouching on his arm.

Snow welcomed him with a hug, a plate of the extra special, keep-for-a-special-occasion cookies and a glass of milk. She also removed Emma’s nearly empty bottle of Jose Cuervo and put it all in the sink. “Emma was just having a little meltdown, Henry. She’ll get over it.” She explained when she caught him studying her movements intently.

When Emma stumbled gingerly down the stairs, cradling her aching head, Henry pulled a notebook and a selection of coloured pens out of his backpack and crossed his arms over the table. “So… do you have any idea how you want to campaign?”

Emma heaved a sigh. “Why is everyone asking me that?”

“It’s a campaign. You need people to vote for you. And I’m here to help you.”

“Kid… Your mom is gonna kill you.” Emma moaned, making herself small on the old ratty but comfortable armchair.

“No she won’t.” Henry assured her as if he had run all out of patience. “Now, about your campaign…”

Snow and David sat on the sofa flanking him and looked expectantly at Emma.

“What about it? I thought I should just go on with my job and that’s it. Show them I can do it.”

Henry briefly looked from Snow to David as if seeking confirmation that Emma really was that dim. “No no no no! That’s not enough! You _have to_ campaign. Sidney is already spreading rumours that you were always up to mischief when you were a kid.”

Emma struggled to keep her eyes open against the light. _Hangover is such a bitch._ “Well, it’s no lie. I was.”

“Really?” Henry asked, surprised and delighted.

“Oh yeah.” David quipped. “There was the time she disconnected the all the cables in the town’s generator. Took Leroy over two days to find out why we had no power.

“And she filled all the locks in the school, building with superglue. That was a whole Monday to sort out.” Snow contributed with a giggle.

“And of course, there was the great Town Hall TPeeing… Though that was actually funny…” David looked at Snow in that way they had of communication with no words. Henry was drinking it all up. The more her parents completed each other’s stories of Emma’s mischief, the more she wondered why she had so rarely been brought to task if everyone knew about her involvement.

“Sidney has a lot to talk about.” She grabbed one of Henry’s cookies, broke a piece and pecked away at the edges.

“I don’t think it matters… you’re kind of a hero.” Henry pressed forward.

“For that?”

“It’s all about perception, Emma. People probably think that it was funny. Or that you were defying authority. My mom’s not the Evil Queen anymore, but people still like an underdog defying her…” Henry reasoned. “Maybe you should do something like that… maybe we could TP the town hall again.”

“I didn’t do that…” Emma protested just because she had always denied it.

“Mom says you did.” Henry smiled at her.

“And you believe her?”

“Of course I do. My mom doesn’t lie.” Henry quipped.

“Yeah… about that.”

But Henry stood and effectively interrupted Emma. “She doesn’t alright? Now, where did you get all that toilet paper from?”

“Henry, I’m running for Sheriff. I can’t go and TP the town hall as my first campaign act… People would get the wrong message.” And where had all this maturity come from? She was freaking herself out.

Henry sat again, deflated. “That’s a shame.”

“Yeah… I know. But as a campaign strategy, it sucks.”

“Okay… I know. We’ll do posters. And we’ll have a rally and Miss Blanchard can make cookies…”

“Posters?”

“Yeah. You’re the _Saviour_. We’re going to make sure that everyone remembers that.”

…   …   …

So Sidney printed his newspaper with all of Emma’s crimes- some of them hers, other’s not- if anyone’s - and Henry printed posters. It was fun, all in all, to spend time with the kid, plotting and drawing and photoshoping her face onto the bodies of superheroes in capes flying through the sky. Henry was a great kid and he, somehow, managed to make everything look and feel better.

She was fully expecting Regina come down on her like a ton of bricks for keeping Henry away from home, but on the few occasions during the week of the campaign that they met, Regina only looked exhausted. She asked her on every occasion to leave town but whenever Emma asked her why, she wouldn’t so much as retort with a venomous quip.

Emma did her best crowd work that week. She made sure she was seen wearing her uniform and that it was pristine, starched to an inch of a sarcophagus. She chatted with residents and asked about their concerns- all of which had been instructed by Henry. The kid, being a politician’s son, knew what side of the political bread should be buttered and Emma wondered why Regina allowed him to spend time with her now they were in opposing sides of line but Henry was such an unexpected source of fun and comfort that she ignored the tingling at the back of neck.

…   …   …

The election day started with an odd gathering of clouds over the wishing well. And it was odd as odd gets: it drove away Snow’s birds in such a hurry that they didn’t stop to chat with her. It also looked like a tornado was hovering over the well- not that it ever touched the ground or disturbed anything at all but was just there, as if it had been waiting for something specific and it was scary and threatening. Emma drove in the Sheriff’s car, and stood looking at it, waiting for a development of some sort. It felt magical to her but she had never been one of great ability. Her abilities lay squarely around the making life easier for herself, so this was a bit out of her comfort zone. She picked up her phone and called Regina because if someone would know how to deal with this, it was her.

And, if she were elected sheriff- as that was big _if_ \- they would have to work together and Regina would have to come clean about all of this. Might as well start now. Whatever Regina was hiding, it was about time she came clean.

“Yeah, so…. There’s this cloud over the wishing well… and before you chew my head off, let me just say that this is of the magical sort- complete with ominous signs and all. So I was wondering if you could, perhaps….”

But the line was dead before she even finished explaining and then Regina was materialising in a cloud of purple smoke that Emma would forever admire just for its aplomb.

“Woah… that’s impressive.”

“Stop dawdling, Emma, get to it.”

“Get to what?”

“Send it away.” Regina pressed her fingers to her forehead and if they had been playing poker, Emma would have called it a tell.

Emma grunted something by way of reply and toed an imaginary spot on the ground. “Huh… you know that I was never your brightest student.”

“You were my only student. Send it away.”

It was the exhaustion in Regina’s face that made her want to lighten up the mood, even if it required making an ass of herself. “Do I say it nicely or…”

“Just put your big girl pants on and send it away, Emma. You fought for this sheriff’s position. Show me you’ve got what it takes.”

The acerbic comment stung. “I didn’t know Graham was magical.” She wanted to take it back. She wanted to apologise the moment she said it. But bells unrung and all that jazz.

“He wasn’t. But as you pointed out, things changed.”

She was relieved that Regina did not take the bait. Though she saw it, she saw the light of battle flicker for a moment in those deep, dark eyes. She sighed in relief. “So you’re already adding to my work load… sheesh… Alright… shoo. Go away.”

Regina rubbed at her temples. “Emma…”

“It was a just a joke. Damn, you’re tense.”

Regina closed her arms around her middle which was another tell but of a different kind. “Just send it away, Emma. Now, before it gets bigger and out of control and it sucks someone in.”

That got Emma’s attention and she turned on her heel and observed the tension in Regina’s shoulders and her posture. She was about to ask for clarification because she needed answers and, as with everything she had ever wanted, she wanted it there and then, no delays but that tension was enough to decide that she was probably better off doing as she was told. When she looked at the cloud again, the weird funnel shape had grown and was now moving and stretching as if it were reaching for the ground. Everything went dark around them and there was movement in the surrounding woodland, trees groaning and bending towards the force of the tornado like shape. It perplexed her and she lost precious seconds in that stupor. Regina moved forward and her stance was that of battle- very elegant battle- ferocious and determined.

She raised her hands at the bulk of the shape and there was a blast of magic, of her trademark purple smoke. Slowly the shape reduced in volume, the spinning became less violent and the pull of it became less. The trees quieted and in short order, there was nothing but a small, condensed blob that Regina forced down the well with a sharp screech as it descended down the old stone walls.

Emma stood there while it happened, mouth agape, staring. Regina had sweat pearling her forehead and there was again that gentle sway of her body that scared Emma. She ate the floor in two strides towards Regina and held her as the woman lost her balance.

Emma pulled Regina into her and closed her arms around that body she missed so viciously, dangerous though it was.

“What the hell was that thing?”

“We’ve been having a few of those. It’s… nothing.”

Emma didn’t need a lie detector to figure this one out. “Then why are you shaking?”

Regina pulled back like an elastic band pulled too far and left Emma missing that body in her arms.

“I’m not.”

Boy, every protection instinct she had ever had blaring at the same time hurt in her skin and in her ears like nails dragging down a chalk board. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go with that. Your skin is clammy and it’s not the first time I’ve seen this…” Then a sudden horrible thought struck her smack in her heart. “Are you sick? Regina are you ill?”

The reply was tired and lacked bite. “No.” It made everything hurt more.

“Regina…”

“Look at me, Emma.” Regina asked calmly. “Put that lie detector of yours to use: I am not ill. I am not sick. This is not the melodrama you’re about to make of it.”

“Then why? Is it magic tiring you?”

“You could say that…” Was Regina’s one concession and she readied herself to leave.

“But you’re so powerful.” And why was she moaning about this?

“Maybe age is finally catching up with me. Don’t worry about it. Just go… change or something and get to town hall. You have an election to attend.”

“Yeay!”

“You do not sound thrilled.”

“Whatever gave you that idea? Look… whatever happens…”

“Yes?” and the tone was expectant and Emma didn’t know how to deal with it. And why were they standing so close? Why did it feel like they were about to kiss?

“I… let me help… whatever is happening… even if it is to hold your bag and your hearings while you beat this shit to the ground… I’ll help.”

“Emma, you say that now.”

“Now?”

“Yes. While there is still a way out… no responsibilities for you other than the ones you choose to take.” And the tone was not sad, not in the usual sense that Emma was used to, not the manipulation she expected from Snow. It was something altogether different that felt a lot like resignation.

“No…”

“Believe me, Emma, in a not very distant future you will be cursing me to hell.” Regina’s hand hovered over Emma’s arm as if she wanted to touch her. Emma was the one that moved into the touch.

“Regina…” They really were standing very close and Emma was developing a speech impediment. Just like in her teen years. “I really want to kiss you now.” Otherwise known as foot in mouth disease.

Regina just stood there as if daring her to go through with it.

And as usual, Emma had found trouble worth getting into. She leaned forward and touched her lips to Regina’s plump red ones and, having made contact, thought _in for a penny, in for pound_ and just pulled Regina into her, pressing on her small of her back and closing her arms around the mayor.

_Huh._

She had missed this. More than anything in the word, this was what felt right: to have that those lips opening to her, to have that tongue dancing slow with hers. Having that heat bubbling between them.

_Huh._

But Regina pulled away, slowly, simmering down the kiss, pulled her body away until Emma was letting go of her, feeling bereft and abandoned. The look on Regina’s face said she was not faring much better.

She patted Emma’s chest, right at the centre, over her breast bone, a light movement, gentle and sad in its sweetness, her gaze fixed on her feet. Then, not finding the words, Regina turned on her heel and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

…   …   …

Okay, so it was a party. It was a weekday but families were out as if it were Sunday, there was a popcorn seller and hotdogs and cotton candy.

Emma got home to find her parents gone and a note on the fridge door telling her not to be late and change into something clean and ironed. Emma slumped at the dinner table, staring into the grain of the wood as if it could make anything make sense.

Here she was, having left her life behind her to come to the rescue of parents that didn’t want to be rescued, to fight against their enemy that did not want to fight back and having taken a job so that she didn’t have to feel so bored and made the unlikeliest of friends in Regina’s son with someone else. And now, for some reason, she really wanted that job, She really wanted Henry around and, more than anything, she really wanted to gather Regina in her arms and keep her there and not go anywhere for a very long while. Regina who was still in love with someone else.

All of the above even if she still missed the anonymity of Boston, the way she could blend in and melt away and not stand out like the child of privilege she truly was.

She stuffed her hand in the cookie jar only to realise there were not enough cookies in the world to sort this particular predicament. Nor to clarify Regina’s words.

Why would she hate her very soon? It felt like they were heading somewhere nice. That kiss had felt like the beginning of something. She had felt grown up about that kiss. It hadn’t felt frenzied or restless as their kisses in her youth had been, fraught with her agitation and anxiety to leave. That kiss had felt like a choice. A choice to come back and stay, make a life.

It had felt like she could actually stay.

She could win this election and prove to Regina she was not running, not this time. She could help with whatever Regina had been dealing with and prove to her they could build something together.

When she finally made it to the town hall, she had built her determination to stay. She was going to speak to Regina and tell her she intended to stay. She was going to prove to her she had seen the world and come to the conclusion she wanted this part of it to be where she settled down. They could build from there, couldn’t they?

She looked around for Regina while greeting people that passed her by. Her parents found her and dragged her to the polling station to cast her vote- which she had forgotten all about. When she finally managed to get away from them, Ruby was waiting to ambush her.

“Is it fair to assume that you’re not going back to Boston anytime soon?”

“I guess.”

“Even if you lose?” Ruby made a show of sniffing her.

Emma’s stomach plummeted from a very great height to crush and melt at her feet. “Is that likely?”

“Well, I can tell you it’s going to be a close call. Regina has a lot on influence on the town and Sidney is her candidate.”

“I thought people wanted to resist authority and all that. Sidney is her lapdog.” Emma ventured hoping her logic would not be flawed, _not now, please, please, please._

“Well, yeah… Some people are still the same assholes and do not understand bygones and amends.”

“So… If I get elected it’s because all the assholes have voted for me? Awesome!” She stared at her boots.

“Oh, come on, Emma… I voted for you. I know you’d be happy here. If you gave yourself the chance and opened your eyes…”

“Thanks… I think… Ruby… is there something going on that I don’t know about?”

“Ducky, the amount of stuff going on that you don’t know about is scary.” Then, as if she had already said too much she changed the subject. So, about Boston… your apartment is empty…”

“Yeah… It is…”

“Are you getting rid of it?”

“No. I bought it. I mean… I’m still paying it off… but yeah… with my own money that I made from my own work. It’s…”

“Symbolic?” Ruby offered.

“Meaningful… Means I don’t need to be the coddled, spoiled brat princess of nowhere kingdom…”

“So… huh… Maybe I could borrow the key of your symbol… every once in a while.”

Emma took the key from her keychain and passed it to Ruby. “Sure. Why? Granny getting on your nerves?”

Ruby closed the key in her hand and touched Emma’s face with the same affection she had always shown her. No more than usual.

“Kerry Washington? Ruby, are you tired of the hotel deal?”

“I hate hotels. I hate how it makes me feel, how it makes her feel. And things are too complicated for anything else, right now.”

“You know, I hate to say this but if this is getting serious, you need to prepare her for Storybrooke.”

“Emma, there is no way to prepare anyone for Storybrooke. Not without sending them running for the hills.”

Yep, that Emma knew very well. “I have you seen Regina?”

“No. But it seems you did… a whole lot of seeing.”

“What?”

“Come on, Emma. Her smell is all over you. Not like a whiff only but like full on make out session, because there is this musk undercurrent to you that does not fool anyone.”

Emma had the good grace of blushing. “Did you see her?”

“Yeah. She came by to vote and then disappeared. Sidney is like a headless chicken without her to follow around and tell him what to do.”

“Where did she go?”

Ruby looked Emma up and down. If she was any judge- and she was, Emma had made up her mind. Without all the information on the table. And while that was endearing, it was also a worry. “Where she needed to. Leave her to it.”

“You know where she went, what she’s doing.” Emma sated the obvious.

“And she if wants you to know, she’ll tell you. Keep your nose out of it.” And she walked away, swaying her hips.

Emma reminded herself how very lucky she was to have Ruby in her life. Where her mother was the goody two shoes that could not been curse only, Ruby was, for the lack of better description, the cool aunt that gives you your first cigarette and covers for you when you need time for your clandestine first kiss. She had been the only person she had ever told about Regina, the one she had confided in. And Ruby had passed no judgement, no word of caution. She could have the whole apartment if she wanted.

…   … …

The ballot count was boring in its precision. Regina was still nowhere to be seen and it was making Emma antsy. She needed to get this off her chest. She wanted to pull her to an empty corner and ask her, kiss her, do something that could get their lives to make some sort of sense.

But as the ballots were opened and stacked, counted and checked, Emma started to lose her patience and her nerve. Ruby was quite right. It was a close call. So close that she could have easily lost.

She walked into the cold night air to take a breath.

What if she had lost?

She could be a grown up about it and stick it out. She should. Regina was worth it.

She walked into Granny’s who was at the back setting up for the victory party and tossed her a cheery hello through the serving hatch but made no further comment.

Emma signalled her for a drink.

“Just help yourself.” Which Emma did. Generously. If she lost, she had some humble pie to eat. And she would. She had imagined this election to be in the bag. How arrogant of her. Regina had stayed in town, had done everything she was supposed to. Emma had walked away. They were entitled to believe that she could up sticks at any time and leave again.

Regina was entitled to think that too.

And she couldn’t read Regina. There had been that kiss. She touched her lips gingerly, the taste of Regina in her mouth still. But there had been the pulling away. Which she could understand all too well. When Emma had left Storybrooke, she had left not only the town, her friends and her parents, she had left Regina behind without so much as a word.

And she had spent nearly eleven years burying the regret for it.

She nursed her drink determined to make it last. Today was the day to toughen it up. No matter what happened.

…   …   …

The bell over the door chimed and Storybrooke filed in. Her parents at the head, arm in arm looking as nauseatingly in love as ever, Ashley and her husband complete with baby in tow. They all gathered around her but no one said anything. Emma knew at that moment that defeat would be the single most humiliating experience of her life being that everyone was there to watch her as the Mayor- just coming in through the door with her lapdog Sidney- approached her.

Henry ran ahead, sat on the stool next to her and hugged her fiercely. She saw Regina pursing her lips, her appearance not as careful as she usually was, her hair slightly out of place, her skin pale and deep bags under her eyes.

She stood but sat again, out of nerves.

“There you are, Miss Swan. And with a drink. Celebrating already?”

“You don’t need to card me, Regina. You know I’m legal. You’re looking for the room in the back. That’s the celebration room.”

Regina moved closer to Emma and spoke softly so that Emma alone could b privy to her words. “Let me ask you one last time, Emma: go back to Boston. Please.” There was a sincere request in the Mayor’s voice, none of her threats or mind games. Just an honesty that jarred Emma.

Emma looked into Regina’s eyes and mouthed a simple no and hoped to all that was holy that Regina would read her intent and never doubt it.”

“Then why aren’t you in there?” Regina’s voice was again for all the room to hear.

“Huh?”

“Ever the loquacious princess.”

“What do you mean?” Okay, so that was better than a grunt but she was still not getting the meaning of it.

“It was a close vote but it seems that you managed to make an impression on Storybrooke.”

“Are you joking?”

Sidney edged his head into their tight personal space. “She doesn’t joke. Mind if I joined your for a drink?”

Emma stepped away from Regina and the counter and into Sidney’s elbow space because fuck him always trying to get into Regina’s pants. “One: Regina jokes and she has a sense of humour and if you don’t know that then in what ass did you have your face buried in and two-“ she turned to Regina “W _hat?_ Say again?”

Regina gave her sad smile and handed her the Sheriff’s badge. “Congratulations, Sheriff.”

Emma didn’t reach for the badge. “Regina I… can we talk… somewhere private?” But Regina took a step back which was not what Emma was expecting. Not in the least. “Regina?”

“Tomorrow, Sheriff, I expect you by the Second Chance Shelter at 8am sharp.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The demolition crew has been booked. As our new elected Sheriff, I expect you ahead of the machinery to control the crowd and ensure the safety of all those involved in both the demotion operation and the residents of Storybrooke.”

“But… Regina!”

Regina studied the badge for a second. “It’s your job as the new Sheriff.” and pinned it to Emma’s belt, a movement that was slow, sad and nervous. Her hand lingered on the leather of the belt for a second. Then she pulled away as if she had been burnt. As Sidney signalled to Granny for a drink of his own and Henry looked on, Regina stared Emma dead in the eye. “I told you you would hate me soon enough.” And she walked away into the night.

All Emma could think was _but I’m going to stay…_

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rubbish at thanking you all for the comments and kudos. Alas, life has been fairly shite so with my apologies for interfering with everyone's reading, may I please thank you all who have commented and left kudos. Thank you so much.
> 
> with much love  
> jane

**Chapter 9**

 

The bell over the door chimed for a second time as Henry trotted after his mother. That snapped Emma out of it.

Next to her, Snow slumped into a chair, tears running down her cheeks. David rubbed her back soothingly. “She can’t do that, can she?”

“Snow… you know she can. She has to.” Ruby intervened from behind the counter.

“But I’m not ready.”

“We can help. We can all help. Come on, Snow, you know it has to be done.”

“But where to?” Emma asked. “I mean… I thought she would change her mind but… But why would she ask me? She knows I can’t do it. She knows I won’t.”

“She’s probably just trying to sack you…” Ashley replied from her spot behind Snow.

“It’s you job, Sheriff. She told me to get an early night even if I had won because of this. For what it’s worth, I don’t think she’s trying to get you fired. She has other ways of doing that.” Sidney offered, still staring into the bottom of his glass.

“Peachy!” Emma snarled at him. “I’m not going to let her.”

“Emma…” Snow all but moaned. “We must.”

Emma felt a growl bubbling in her throat and swell there making it impossible to breathe. “Ah, screw this! You dragged me from my life, mom, _my life_ , that happened to be very happy, thank you very much, and brought me back here and now you’re the first one to give up?”

“Emma’s right.” David sided with Emma even physically moving to stand by her side. “We’ve fought long and hard for this. We have lived half of our lives in that shelter. We don’t have to move anything.”

“Charming… you don’t get it.” Snow blushed deeply.

“No, you’re right, Snow, I don’t get it. I’ve stood by you and supported you in all your decisions. When you said we should fight this, I did. When you said we should get Emma, I agreed. And now what? You decided to pack up and go? No. Not this time. Now I want to stay.”

Snow blushed a deeper shade of red and seemed to think the better of it. She stuttered trying to start a sentence but gave up as if it had been too much effort.

Emma finished the drink she had so carefully nursed. God knows she need it with her parents going on in the background.

“I’m gonna talk to Gold.” Emma announced and left with Snow and David protesting.

When she rang Gold’s bell, and didn’t get any answer, she did reverted to her Boston days: she magicked the door open and allowed herself in.

Gold wobbled down the stairs and she had the presence of mind to wait for him on the shop floor. He seemed none too pleased with seeing her there.

“I should have known that you’d be by. I am, after all, due a thank you for pointing out to you the loophole that got you your new job. I was merely expecting that to happen tomorrow morning. Now it’s quite late.”

“It’s barely eight pm.”

“Yes, and the shop is closed. As you know because you wiggled your little fingers at my lock.”

“Well,” Emma, pushed, “if you didn’t want me to come in, you should have used a better spell. Or a better lock. One that I can break means that you probably wanted me to come in.”

Gold sighed, deep and annoyed but gave her a cryptic smile. “What do you want from me?”

Emma took a step forward. “Another loophole.”

“Oh… fresh out of stock, I’m afraid, Princess. Call again another time. We value your custom.” Gold didn’t back down but so he had to look up to Emma.

“Bullshit.”

“Your parents really should have had a tighter hold on you and your potty mouth. But for argument sake… why would I do that?”

“For the same reason you pointed out the last one, a new one, I don’t care. There has to be one.”

“Much as I would like to see old Regina in tizzy, Princess, this time, I have nothing.” Gold squared his stance, standing firmly on his town feel and one cane.

“Come on, Gold, search deep into your bag of tricks, find something... Please.”

“Ah well, if you say please… then… it’s still a no, Princess.”

“I’ll owe you one.”

“Bold words…” Gold pressed his hands on top of his cane and Emma could see the greedy light, the feisty light that was always on the lookout for a bargain light up and twinkle.

“You always want something.” She called bluff and waited.

“Not this time. Only to go on with my evening. I have a cup of tea waiting for me upstairs. Have a good night… Miss Swan.”

…   …   …

She couldn’t have been at the shop for more than ten minutes but when she left, there was a posse making their way to the Shelter carrying boxes and wheelbarrows to assist with the move. Emma felt the pettiness in her raise its head.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

David, arms crossed over his chest- she had, after all, inherited petulance from both sides of her gene pool- pointed at Snow and Ruby heading the cortege. “Your mother is the single most stubborn woman and 29 years of marriage and I still, sometimes, don’t understand what goes on in her head. Now she decided – at the eleventh hour - that she wants to move. _Now_ she wants to move. We could have done this months and months ago in some orderly fashion, during day light hours and now she wants to do it overnight. Tell me, Emma, you’re a woman…”

“Last time I checked…”

“Why do women do that?”

“Why are you comparing your wife to the rest of us, Dad? Snow is Snow. She’s not acting out of some double X chromosome instinct. She’s a spoiled brat- you know that.”

David sighed. “You shouldn’t talk about your mother like that…”

“You started it…” God, they really were very much alike.

“Yeah, I did… Shall we help?”

“No.” David gave her a confused look that Emma recognised from the mirror “Hey mom! Wait a second.” The group halted, already by the shelter. “I wanna talk to Regina first. This can wait. If you’re willing to move, this can wait.”

“Emma, it’s the middle of the night…”

“It’s not even nine o’clock. She can damned well talk to me.”

“Emma, don’t. We’ve dragged this too long.”

“My point exactly. Why now? Why tomorrow at 8 am? I’ll talk to her and we can postpone this for a few days or so. We’re not going to be doing this in the middle of the night without having a place to go to. Everything stays put.”

“Emma, what if…”

“Mom!” Emma’s tone brokered no argument and for once, _for once_ Snow did not dig her heels.

“Okay, okay…”

…   …   …

Emma pounded her way up the stairs to her bedroom and peered into her closet trying to find anything- anything at all that she could change into. She had definitely not packed enough. She could do with a fairy godmother right about now, but since she was not her mother, she would have to make do. She grabbed one of her old torn and faded jeans and even older varsity sweaters, an old as dirt pair of trainers that it was anyone’s guess why her mother hadn’t thrown them in the garbage and put her magic to intense, if little stilted, but good use.

It would remain to be seen whether it wouldn’t all fall apart at the seams from her lack of true ability, but it looked okay so far. She shimmied into a pair of black skinny pants, black top that hugged her body like a second skin and stuffed her feet into a pair of the most obscenely high heeled ankle boots.

She needed a coat and her mother’s pink monstrosity became a dark caramel coat, twin to her favourite still sitting in her Boston closet. She spritzed perfume onto her wrists and neck and admired the result in the cheval mirror that stood in the living room. She looked damned sexy and powerful and grown up in a way that Regina had never seen her.

If she had read Regina right that morning, it would only have taken a little push to make her balk and fall into Emma’s waiting arms. This ensemble should do the trick. A little distraction should work until the morning and then they could work it out.

She looked in the mirror. Make up. She needed make up. She conjured up a smoky eye makeup and a nude lipstick and even she wouldn’t have recognised herself in the mirror. Damned, she liked it. Maybe she should do this more often.

…   …   …

She drove because she was starting to feel:

  1. A little shitty for playing this card
  2. A little nervous about rejection
  3. Too horny to walk



She threw the car into park and trotted in her ankle breakers up Regina’s path. She didn’t get to ring the bell because Regina opened the door, hands on her hips and all defiance even if she looked tired and exhausted in a way Emma had never seen before.

“What do you want from me, Miss Swan?”

Emma toyed with her car keys. “I want to understand.” She started softly. _The plan_ was simple enough:

  1. Charm
  2. Distract
  3. Succeed.



But for that she needed to keep her cool. Which, looking at Regina barefoot was not easy. Her brain was short circuiting, firing in all directions, none of which was _The Plan_. She walked closer to Regina towering over her because she was actually an inch or so taller but in those boots she had five inches or so advantage. 

“What? What is it that you don’t understand, Emma?”

“Why. I don’t get it. Why does it have to be tomorrow?”

“Because I’ve decided.”

“Explain that as well. Why are you lying? You never used to lie to me.” God, she was getting so close she could only smell Regina- her hair, her faint perfume, her face cream… And all she wanted was to touch. Anywhere, it didn’t matter where, just touch her, just make sure she was really there.

Regina looked up at her, dwarfed by Emma in her heels. “If you are not willing to believe me, there is little difference between truth and lies, Emma.”

Emma moved an inch closer, where it was no longer socially acceptable. “Let me be the judge of that.”

Regina licked her lips and lowered her eyes for a second. She took a deep breath and then looked up at Emma. It seemed she too was falling into the gravity of the world they could make together. “Very well.” She said softly and her voice was gruff and it sounded like Sunday mornings in bed except that when Emma replayed it in her head there was fear in it. “The shelter sits over a portal. The portal is unstable. I have tried closing it before. I’m sure even you can feel it the magic there, so close to the surface.”

“Why didn’t you close it?” Emma pushed through her throat, so tight she was finding it difficult to breathe. She could not detect a lie. Maybe her superpower was broken. Maybe just wanted to believe that badly.

“Because the shelter is standing there.”

“That doesn’t really answer the question.”

“Oh Emma…” Regina sighed and Emma was enveloped by Regina’s breath, a little minty, a little Regina, absolutely intoxicating. “The same way the building, the mere bricks and mortar are keeping it from tearing apart, it keeps me from closing it. Its impermeable, it seems.”

“But does it have to be tomorrow morning?”

“I don’t think it will last much longer, Emma.” Regina’s hand made contact with Emma’s arm, stayed there and Emma lost all will to argue her case. All will to go through with _The Plan_. Whatever that was.

All that was important was to get closer, to lean into Regina and claim her kiss. She magically removed her boots and stood barefoot in front of Regina so they could stand at eye level.

Her arm where Regina was touching felt several degrees warmer than the rest of her. On her sleeve, Regina’s hand looked small, delicate. Inviting. “I missed you.”

Regina swallowed audibly. “Did you?”

Emma nodded and leaned into Regina, touching their foreheads. “Yes, I did.” She raised her chin and sought out Regina’s mouth for the second time that day.

Regina welcomed the kiss with a sob wrenched from her chest and her hands held on tight to Emma’s hips. Emma thought that it was the sound of welcoming to someone who had been lost for the longest time, a _there you are, finally_. Dear God, what was she doing? She closed her arms around Regina slowly, like she was never letting go- which she had no right to, absolutely no right to even think about. But Regina leaned into her, into the hug and just sagged and stayed really still, only breathing, slow and steady.

“I missed you, Emma. I didn’t think you’d come back.”

“I did. It took me a very long time but I did.”

Emma pulled Regina at arm’s length was shocked to see tears, silent, so much like the rest of their relationship had been. She wiped them with the tips of fingers, each in turn. “I came back, you got my attention.”

The beginning of a smile died a painful death in Regina’s face. “What do you mean?” She asked as Emma again pulled her against her chest.

“I mean, I’m back. We can work this out. Anyway you want. I mean… I know I’m not entitled to anything, to expect anything from you because I left and I never even called or anything but... we can work things out. You don’t need to do this anymore.” She pushed a lock of brown hair back, tucked it behind Regina’s ear.

Regina pulled away from Emma and it was like being blasted with cold after a warm bath. It did snap you back into your senses but it hurt like hell and it stole your breath.

“Do you think the issue with the Second Chance Shelter is about bringing you back?” From this non distance, the brown in Regina’s eyes was alive with sparks of fire.

“Well, I―”

“You do! Emma, that’s exactly what you think.” And oh boy, the fire was hurt and sorrow and anger.

“It’s okay, Regina. I mean… it’s a little extreme but―”

The slap in her face rang like a million bells in her ears, made her brain whiplash inside her skull. “Is this why you are here? Dressed like this? To…” Regina looked for the words she could not make herself utter. “Sex me up to make me change my mind? Tell me Emma, what was the angle? Romance the poor single mother? Rekindle the old flame? What gimmick were you going for?”

“It wasn’t a gimmick.”

Another slap rang on the other cheek. Whatever else could be said about Regina, this was much was true: she had a mean right hook and what her left hand lacked in finesse it more than made up for in strength.

“You forget, Emma of Summerlands, that I too known when you’re lying.”  

And Emma would have done anything to take it back, to unthink those things, to unhurt the woman standing before her, barefoot, teary eyed, angry. She would do anything to unsee the picture of devastation standing before her. She was ashamed and that was not something she felt often. “Regina, please, just―”

“No. Stop it.” Regina walked back as if she couldn’t stand being in Emma’ presence and it was the one of the things that hurt the most in her life, that distance growing between their two bodies. “I told you you would hate me. I was prepared for that. Could you not come at me from that perspective? Did you have to do this? Did you have to hurt me this way?”

“Wait a second!” Emma objected, incensed by the truth. Regina was right, of course. She should have. She should have played fair. Or, she should not have played at all. But the truth was still a bitter pill. It made her stupid. It made her irrational. And the hurt in her chest, made her want to hurt Regina too. Badly. There was no one like this woman, no one she wanted to love as much as she wanted to hurt. No one. It was all so fucked up. “So it wasn’t to get me back? Was it just to fuck with parents? Are you that petty that you waited 30 years, lulled them into thinking things are finally falling into place and then hit them over the head with this? Why didn’t you tell them in the morning today that they had to move? Why did you wait until tonight to tell them? Is eight hours to much notice?

“You mother has known for over a year.”

“But she didn’t have a deadline. She thought she had time…”

They were both shouting, both hurt.

“You and I both know she was not going to use that time. She was just going to dig her heels in and resist everything. But for the record, she had the date.”

“That’s not the point.”

“You’re doing this out of spite!” Emma spat the accusation, well into Regina’s space.

“Believe it or not, Emma,” And the way Regina’s shoulder slumped, she knew Emma wouldn’t, “that’s not the case.”

“You’re right: I don’t believe you.” Emma felt her heart go cold, cold in her chest and everything at that moment hurt. But hurt people hurt people. “You are still the same bitter woman.” She wanted to stop. She wanted to stop talking and walk away. She just couldn’t. “Tell me, Your Majesty, when you took me in, when you welcomed me into your home all those years ago… what is just to spite them? Was it just to piss them off, to rub it in their faces?”

Regina looked like she had been punched in the gut. She couldn’t help the self-soothing gesture of putting her arm around her middle as if she could hug herself, sustain herself. She wanted to speak but it seemed like she could not articulate the words.

“Leave her alone” Henry barged in through the doors and he went to his mother, hugging her. Regina stood straighter and seemed to breathe.

“Henry, it’s fine, I’m fine.” She run her fingers through the boy’s soft hair and seemed to gather her strength.

“No you’re not. You’re shaking.”

Was she? It surprised Emma that she hadn’t noticed. That it made her feel like shit, like a rat for having done that. The Regina she imagined she had in front of her did not feel, was not affected by her words.

“Go away Emma.” He let go of Regina and pushed at Emma with all his might. And he was small but he was moved by righteous anger and so he pushed her until she passed the threshold back to the porch. “You are too dumb if you think my mom is doing this to hurt your parents. Stay away from me.” His voice cracked and it was frayed around his words. He pushed and pushed until, Emma was by her car, barefoot, one handprint in each cheek and completely gobsmacked by the change in attitude from the kid that been nothing but sweet and welcoming to her.

“Henry, I’m sorry you heard that, I should have been more careful.”

“No! You should have kept your mouth shut. You’re mean, you’re so mean! I don’t care about you anymore, get out of our house. Go away. I’m not interested in getting to know you anymore.”

“Kid… I…!” And that was a curve ball and a half. “Were you ever? I mean… why would you be interested in getting to know me?” And it was so important she knew that. She needed to know because that prickling at the back of her neck was driving her crazy.

“Because…” Henry stopped pushing and wiped his green, furious, furious eyes on his sleeve and took a shaky breath. “Because you’re the only one that gets old.”

Emma was about to reply but then there it was, the webbing, the layering of things and that may have been a little of the truth but it was not all of it, and it was, on its own, as much of a lie as Regina’s words.

“Try again, kid.” She said and she felt tired. Everyone was hiding something from her, even a ten year old kid and she wanted to just scream. “I may not have a lot going for me in life but I know when people are lying. And you kid, you are.”

Henry quieted and was silent for a second. “I’m not.”

“No. Tell me the truth Henry.”

“You’re not ready for it.” He told her and it was sad.

“Try me.” The kid was only ten and about four feet but she felt like she was the one challenging a formidable adversary.

He crossed his arms over his chest, daring. “Okay. You want the truth? I wanted to meet my mom. Now I don’t care about meeting you anymore. You can go back wherever you came from, you can stay away forever. I’ll take care of my mom, you’re not needed here. Go back to Boston, Emma Swan. Go away.”

The thing with young children is that it’s easier to see through them than through water. And this kid really thought she was his mom. Which would break Regina’s heart if she heard it because she was a supermom. She was _the mom_ from what Emma had seen and heard.

“Kid… look, a lot can be said about your mom, but she doesn’t deserve that. She’s a good mom.”

“Of course she is. She’s the best mom.”

His reply baffled her, and it was as if the ground was moving gently under her bare feet, ruining her balancing act. “Then why would you say something like that? Besides… a kid is not the kind of thing you forget. I’d remember if I’d had a kid.” She hoped for a reassuring smile but what came out was something completely different that felt fake even to her.

The kid had a short fuse too, because the calm from before was gone and he pushed at her shoulders and kicked her shin for good measure making flinch. “No you wouldn’t because you left my mom pregnant and walked out on her. You just left when she needed you the most. But now she has me. And we don’t need anything from you. You don’t know anything about her. You don’t know anything about us and now I don’t want to know anything about you.”

“Henry…” Her mouth was so dry it hurt to breathe. “That’s not even possible.”

“Seriously? You say that about this town? Is that what you’re going with? Get out of here. Go away. Leave us alone!”

Emma stood there watching him run into the house, into Regina’s waiting arms. She gather the boy into her, offering solace and when she looked at Emma, her eyes were pure fury. Emma had hurt Regina’s child. And that, Emma knew instinctively, was the only unforgivable thing: to hurt someone Regina loved.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 

Emma was sitting in the dark of the barn keeping Gofredo company. She liked the smell of hay and wood. It was comforting and it grounded her. And she damned well needed that. Her head was spinning, spinning and she told herself over and over that the kid was Regina’s, that an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, that he would have manipulation in is genes. Or that Regina had been telling him whatever pleased her- or whatever she needed to tell, him to keep him happy- or from asking questions. Whatever. What she knew was that this was not possible. At all. Maybe she had dreamt it. Or hallucinated it. That was a good option. In what world did she have a kid with Regina?

In what world did she have a bond that strong with the love of her life? Because that was what Regina had been all along. And it had, as usual, taken too long to realise it. Dumb, dumb Emma.

She buried her head in her arms and waited for the spinning to stop. And if it was true- and god, Henry’s eyes were as green as hers, as green as her dad’s- why hadn’t Regina told her? Why had Regina kept it from her? Her mother had her phone number. Her mother had had a way of contacting her ever since she had left. Regina could have done the same. She could have summoned her from the beginning. They had always had a way of getting into each other’s head. She could have called her if…

Maybe Regina hadn’t wanted to tell her… if it was true, which it couldn’t possibly be, but if it were, the fact that Regina had never called her back could only mean that she wanted Henry all for herself. That she didn’t want to share. Or that she simply didn’t want her around.

Why?

_Because you left, you moron!_ Her inner idiot pointed out. _You were the one who left._ But none of that mattered because it wasn’t true.

It could not possibly be true. Not even in Storybrooke.

…   …   …

The sky was turning pink in the horizon when she heard the footsteps outside in the gravel. Her mother barged in through the door, them made her way in and closed the door behind her.

“What are you doing here, Emma?”

“Chilling, mom. I’m taking a break from all of this insanity.” Her eyes were burning from exhaustion now. She didn’t want to talk, she didn’t want to be awake. Except that would not possible, not today of all days to have a well deserved breakdown.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if you were going to move anyway then why did you call me back. I was happy where I was…”

“Were you?” It was formulated as a question but it wasn’t not really. It was more like an accusation.

“Yes.”

“Huh… you are needed here, Emma. It was time for you to come back.”

“No one ever needed me, mom. You and dad… man, you’re… you don’t need anyone else. You’re self sufficient in your love for each other.”

Snow looked hurt. Maybe she was, maybe Emma was being unfair. But then she recovered and she gave her mother a lopsided smile that she had seen in Henry’s face too- and oh hell. “That may be, Emma but we are not the only ones that need you.”

“What do you mean?”

Snow stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jacket and exhaled. “Exactly what I said. And you never sound happy… maybe you sounded excited and free… but never happy.”

“No one is happy all the time, mom. That’s bullshit.”

“Maybe it is. But you _never_ sounded happy.” No, she hadn’t. She was alive and free in the world but that had not been enough. She had been missing something, an important part of herself ever since she had left. She had taken to smiling at mirrors just to remind herself that she could be, that she was happy. She had never been convinced.

“We didn’t talk that often.” She defended.

“No, we didn’t. But a mother knows, Emma. And I knew in my heart that you weren’t happy.”

Emma rubbed her bare heel on the ground. “But that was my decision to make.”

Snow came and sat by her daughter on the ground. “You can still leave.” She offered. “No one is holding you back, Emma. You can go whenever you want. The town line is open for you. You can come and go as you please.”

“I know… but… It’s open for everybody.”

Snow put her hand on the crown of Emma’s head and petted her hair softy, in soothing motions that yes, she had missed. Just like so many other things. “No, Emma, it is not”

“Mom…”

“Yes, Emma.”

“Regina…”

“Yes?” Snow offered an encouraging smile and waited.

Emma covered her face with her hands and suffocated the scream that wanted out of her throat. “I couldn’t make her change her mind.”

Snow hesitated for a moment. “I imagined that.”

“That’s not all. We had a fight.”

“About what?” Snow asked quietly and Emma gave her an exasperated look. “Ah yes, the move. Look, maybe we should. I mean… we still have about two hours.”

“I think I hurt her.”

Her mother, her dependably bratty mother surprised Emma. “Then you should apologise. You’ve never done much of that. Which is our fault, I think. No one ever took you task because you are a princess. Because you are the Saviour. Besides, she’s had time to cool off, right?” Her mother’s middle name should be Pollyanna because she was just relentless in her optimism.

“She might need a few years to cool down. I was….”

“On point…”

“Hurtful.” Emma pulled her knees closer to her chest and Snow was reminded of her daughter when she was a young child, always so wilful, always so weary of the world even though they had done everything in their power of keep her from the getting hurt.

“Well, it’s you. She won’t stay angry at you for long. She always had a soft spot for you. She won’t hold a grudge, I bet.”

Emma ground her teeth. The eternal sunshine of the optimistic mind. “Mom, she’s held a grudge against you for forty years and counting.”

“Oh… that…” Snow dismissed it with a wave of her hand. “It’s different for you. And you should know that, in your heart you know, Emma.”

“What are you doing here, mom?”

“I was looking for you. Come on, Emma, let’s get this show on the road.”

“I should be mad at you.”

“And you’re not?”

“I should be more. You’re taking this very well. I don’t understand.”

“I know you think I’m a brat, Emma.”

“You are.”

“I know. Regina said that too. But its time it’s not about me…”

The hair at the nape of Emma’s neck stood. “What aren’t you telling me, mom?”

Snow shrugged and put the reins on Gofredo to walk him out of the Shelter.

…   …   …

Snow went ahead. Emma wanted to stay back for a few minutes. It felt like saying goodbye to something that, only now she was about to lose, she could place sufficient value on. It felt like something was compressing her chest, sitting on it, squeezing the air out of her.

She took a deep breath. Yes, she could feel the magic, bubbling to the surface like oil or gas or something precious but dangerously unstable and violent. She could feel it prickling at her skin.

She got up and decided she should get home, sober up a little, change and deal with whatever this was.

She conjured up her boots from her room without needing so much as to concentrate. In this place it came easy to her, like breathing. When she walked out, Mr Gold was leaning against his cane, admiring the ugly eighties construction. She sighed and walked towards him. He had something to say and vanishing in a cloud of smoke would do nothing to help with the problem at hand- if there was any solution.

“Good morning, Sheriff Swan.”

“Mr Gold.”

“You look… unwell.” He observed with malice.

“Yeah, well, you are not faring much better. I didn’t get any sleep. What’s your excuse?”

“Testy, I see. I’ll chalk it up to a sleepless night. But you asked me for assistance and I am here to provide it.” He bounced on the head of the cane and it was the same self satisfied movement that Emma had come to see throughout the years as exactly that.

“How much is it going to cost me?”

“This one is on me, Sheriff Swan.”

Emma studied him for a second. Free rides were never really free, they just had a different payment plan, but she looked at the building behind her and thought there was not much to lose in giving the guy a break. She widened her stance and waited. “Why?” She asked when he did not utter her word.

“Let’s just say that I want to see old Regina’s arse in the fire…”

“Why?” Emma asked again, because if one thing she had learnt from her parents, it was that Rumpelstiltskin was not to be trifled with. Which knowing how things in the Enchanted Forest ended and her role in that was a bit rich, but hey, needs must.

“I want my freedom.” He stated simply and Emma read it as the truth. Fine.

“The town line is wide open. I don’t get why people don’t just walk out.”

Gold sneered in that passive aggressive way of his of calling her stupid with just a nod of his head. “Miss Swan… I have to wonder how you survived in that great big world of your without your safety net. It could not have been on the strength of your superior intellect.”

She looked at the Second Chance again and did prayed for patience. She thought about Henry and his fists pushing against her, so angry and Regina’s eyes, downcast, her hands trembling in her son’s hair.  “Alright.” She sighed and it was tired. She was so tied. “I’ll bite. What have you got?”

“I’m privy to why our glorious leader wants to knock down this particular building.” He waited with that smile that only ever reached half his face.

Something about this was wrong, so wrong. But it was a like a train careening into an abyss and she just didn’t know how to stop it, how to stop herself from playing into this mess, from being played. “And why is that?”

“Ah, she told her version already, I see.” Gold saw the challenge in Emma’s expression.

“Yeah. She did.”

“I wonder how much of the truth she told you. You see, Princess, the Shelter sits right over a portal. As far as I can tell, a very instable portal.”

“She said that…”

“Ah, yes… But did she tell you what she wants with it?”

Ah, the payback shoe was about to drop. “Close it. She wants to close it.” She wandered who was saying that out loud: the Emma that loved Regina, that had loved her all along despite her best efforts or the Emma that hated Regina for her part in her life, then and now.

Gold observed her without making one iota of effort to disguise it. “Huh, well then. I shall make my offer, Miss Swan. I have a fairly generous plot of land, no far from here, with a house and a couple of outbuildings, a barn- you know the one- you used to graffiti the walls of the barn with many colourful expletives. This would be quite suitable for the operation your parents have here. I will organise for the movers to come in and deal with everything from animals to chattel.”

“And in return?” Emma crossed her arms, waiting, waiting.

“In return, your mother will sign over the title deeds to me. I will deal with Regina and her demolition crew and city ordinances.”

Now, that was funny. She would have sworn that it was common knowledge that her parents didn’t have the title deeds and that there lied the crux of the problem.  Or was he just yanking her chain? “Why?” She asked trying not to reveal her hand.

“That, Miss Swan is none of your concern.” Emma felt a shiver down her spine. Whatever Gold wanted it was not just to mess around with Regina. He wanted it badly enough to give her, the village idiot something for free. He was collecting from elsewhere and she had to bet Regina would be settling her bill.

And it was probably something to do with the portal. She pushed to gain time, hoping that he would letting something slip, something that would make all of this clusterfuck make sense. “Tell you what: you toss a in a new van for the shelter and you’ve got a deal.”

“A van?” Gold smirked. “What kind of a van?”

“Whatever kind they want. New.” Emma poked at the edges of his lie. There was something there. And if Gold gave in, then she would know she was in over her head.

“Okay. A van. Brand new.” _Oh shit_. It had to be the portal. The two most powerful people in a magically charged town were at logger heads about a portal. It had to be worth a lot. It had to be worth things she couldn’t possibly imagine. And they both wanted to get to it first.

Gold studied all the thoughts running through Emma’s mind. “Think about it, Sheriff. You know where to find me.”

And that was odd too, that unwillingness to pressure her into completing the deal. As if that was not his point. Or, at least not, the only point.

Fuck.

There was something there, right? Something in that portal. Probably the magic itself. It probably was either magic kryptonite or magic spinach but she was willing to bet that they would use it as a weapon. Either of them was capable.

The ground beneath her feet shook a little, a warning only, faint and she would have missed it if she wasn’t actively listening for it, for something. She summoned her car keys and her car and got in. Man she could get used to this, to this easy magic. She was about to get into the car- not daring materialising at Regina’s for all the anger and agitation she was feeling- who knows what could go wrong- when her mother’s old station wagon made its way down the road.

She could see the boxes piling in the back and her mother was not crying or throwing an almighty tantrum and she couldn’t understand what the hell this was all about.

Her mother stepped out, fresh faced and started removing boxes from the back. “Good, you’ve changed.”

Emma stood there, not quite listening, just trying to feel whatever it was that was going on in the ground under her feet and inside her. She needed time. She needed space. And she had neither of those things.

“I’m gonna go and have a word with Regina.” _Say what?_

“Another? Are you sure?”

“Gold came over.” She answered by way of explanation. It didn’t make sense. It didn’t make sense at all. But she loved Regina and she hated her too and everything in her was pulling in all sorts of different directions and all she wanted was for things to make sense again, to be boring again. And of course, her mother’s tone, so full of curiosity it was a worry in itself.

“Well, he wanted to give you a plot of land complete with buildings, building work and even threw in a van.” She commented, trying to get a reaction from her mother that would give her clue to what she was missing.

“What did he want from us?”

And her mother was being careful too. Awesome. Now she had learnt to keep secrets. _Woopty-dingle-doo_. “Oh, just the deeds to the plot.”

“But we don’t have them.”

“Yeah. There’s that. Which I expect he would know because he knows everything about everyone.”

“That’s odd. Besides. Regina already gave us a new plot.” And Snow’s voice guttered out into a guilty and somewhat embarrassed silence. She harrumphed as if she could un-ring that bell and the sound was the kind of _click_ you hear when you step on a land mine. Snow lowered her eyes and blushed. Foot of the trigger, then.

Emma felt the anger overtake her. There it was, one of things that had been hanging in the air, not being told and she was tired of being a patsy in everyone’s game. “Why didn’t you tell me? I mean… shit, mom, we could have moved all this junk before. We could have…” Then it truly clicked. Man she was slow on the uptake. “Mom? When did she give you this plot?”

“Oh… uh… some time ago.”

Emma ground her teeth. “How long, exactly?”

“I can’t quite remember… you know how time works here…”Snow tried to dismiss the conversation by picking up one of her boxes.

“How. Long. Snow?” A blind mouse could have called _Lie_. Then it dawned on her. “Before I came back?”

Snow’s silence was answer enough.

Emma stuffed her hands in her pockets and bit her lip hard, trying to control the explosion bubbling under her skin. When she managed, she took a deep breath. “Why did you call me, then? If you had the plot in your hands, why did you call me? Why did you lie to me?”

“Emma, sweetheart, we…” Snow interrupted herself but Emma did not fill in the silence, not immediately.

“Did dad know about this?”

“Well, not the plot, exactly…”

“So this was you. Calling me here, making me leave my life behind, it was you!”

“Emma, I… you had to come. Not just for us, but for…” Snow bit her lip hard. She did that when she was trying to hold on to a secret. Really the worst poker player. “I had to get you back home…”

Emma was not in any mood for that. All she knew was that she had been played from the beginning of this mess- by her mom and Ruby, by Regina, by Gold, probably even by Graham. He was putty in Snow’s hands and he had been sleeping with Regina and even if she didn’t know how all the pieces fit in, she was damned well going to find out, deadline be damned.

She got into her car leaving her mother in the middle of the access road.

She saw the black Mercedes coming down the road and pulled sharply on the steering wheel, making the bug stall across the road, effectively blocking Regina’s path. The woman stepped out of the car, nothing short of impeccable in her pant suit complete with vest.

She just had to keep it cool and keep with the program which was difficult whenever Regina was involved. “You lied to me.” Great start to the keeping it cool plan.

“Miss Swan…”

“Don’t Miss Swan me, Regina. You lied to me. I know about the portal now.” She was leaning into Regina, all over her personal space, all confrontation and bluster. Regina remained unfazed.

“That’s progress. Last night you didn’t believe me that it existed.”

“Well, I had a little chat with Gold.”

“Dangerous occupation. “ Regina offered mildly but Emma could see she was rattled by that.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what we discussed?”

“I can make an educated guess.”

“Huh… he made Snow an offer: the title deeds for a new plot complete with buildings and a bunch of other perks. Sweet deal.” Emma paused and waited for reaction.

Regina hummed but her face showed no emotion and all Emma wanted to do was shaker her, shake her until the truth feel off. “Did you take it?”

“See? Right there, that look on your face.” She was shooting in the dark though.

Regina moved from one foot to the other and crossed her arms defensively across her middle. “What about my face?”

“I knew you were hiding something from me. What is Regina it, what’s gonna come out of that portal? You know what? I don’t care. I don’t care if it’s kryptonite or spinach. I don’t even care if its oil. Neither you nor Gold are gonna get it. Forget it. You want my badge? Here, have it.”

She tossed the badge at Regina and it feel at her feet. Regina picked it up and straightened up slowly, the pain on her face slow to go away and give way to indifference. She cleaned the dust from the shiny surface with her thumb, a gentle movement that mesmerised Emma. “I didn’t lie to you, Emma.”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it later. But you didn’t tell me – you’re still not telling me- the truth. Why do you want it? You tried to get my mom out of your way and you used me so you could get your hands on it, on whatever that is. I thought you had changed, but you’re still trying to get one up on everyone else, aren’t you?”

“Don’t be so presumptuous, Emma. How did I use you? What influence did I exercise over you?”

Emma’s face pinched into a bitter smile. “That kiss. You… I can actually see very clearly now.”

“I didn’t ask you for anything.”

“No, you reasoned with me, is that you’re going to say? I see through you, Regina. Right through. I should have stayed away. I should have stayed where I was, where I had a life. But now that I’m here? Now I’m gonna make it my damned mission to make sure you do never get what you want.”

For a moment she thought she had heard Regina’s heart stop beating. “I see.” She could have sworn Regina’s voice cracked when she spoke but she was beyond angry, she was beyond tired and she didn’t really care anymore.

“Well, Miss Swan. I’ll admit to it then. That portal will open, and it will open in a matter of minutes. And I want all of you out of the way. I don’t you or anyone else close by. Now, get out of my way.” And she strutted that power of walk of hers towards the shelter.

Emma followed and grabbed her arm. “I’m not done talking.”

“Yes, you are.” And she vanished in a plume of smoke only to materialise a few yards ahead and continue her walk. Emma ran and grabbed her arm again pulling her back and this time effectively blocking Regina’s disappearing act.

“See what I did there? You and I know that I couldn’t have done that without the magic bubbling out of the ground like oil in this place. C’mon, Regina fess up, what do you want it for? All that magic?”

In the distance, Emma could see the demolition equipment, every bulldozer, every pick axe in sharp definition. “It’s not even eight o’clock yet. You’re in a real hurry.”

“I like being prepared.”

And she took Emma’s moment of distraction and escaped the fierce hold that left vicious prints on her arm, walking as fast as she could.

“You’re not going to get away with this!” Emma barked out of breath.

“I think you’ll find that I will. Shoo, go away, Emma. You are not needed nor wanted here. Go back to your perfect life in the outside world and leave me alone.”

Emma was alarmed by the horrible feeling that this was the moment Regina was lying to her, that this is how it felt when Regina lied to her. The ground shook, softly aft first, like a rocking boat. Emma stared at her feet and tried to reach Regina again. “Don’t be stupid, Regina, whatever you want from there, it can kill you!”

But Regina just marched forward, the ground shaking more violently as she approached the shelter. Men and machinery pulled back. Regina stopped into the middle of the melee and opened her arms, staying perfectly still, a balancing act that had Emma clutching at her heart.

God, but she hated Regina. And she loved her too and she didn’t want her to get hurt, couldn’t imagine her getting hurt. She moved forward towards Regina unaware of the cloud of dust that rose from the ground enveloping everything around, of the people that were arriving in their cars and then pulling back haphazardly, of the shouts of the foreman and his demolition crew. The only thing she cared about was Regina standing in the middle of it all as if she couldn’t see it, couldn’t feel it.

The walls of the shelter groaned and cracked, slowly at first then just giving in under the vibrations of the ground and crumbling to rubble on the ground. A cloud of dirty yellow smoke rose from the cracks on the ground. Regina raised her hands and soil and trees from around them rushed into the hole opening on the ground as she if she had been trying to plug the hole instead of opening it.

Emma shot forward. Regina was lying yes and she had hidden things yes but no way was she letting her do this on her own. The words replayed in her head stuck on a loop until they fit, round peg in a round hole: the lie was something else. She reached out and again the ground shook under her feet. Regina lost her balance and struggled to keep upright. The lie was something else entirely.

Regina opened her eyes to see Emma moving towards her and raised her hand, panicked eyes, begging her to stop where she was.

The lie was something else.

Above her, the same dark clouds of the previous day except this time, the funnel shape was gearing up and preparing to touch Regina at the epicentre of it all.

“Regina, get the hell out of there!” She screamed and her voice was cracking and failing because there was only terror in her chest and she was drowning in it.

The lie was something else.

Regina didn’t move.

“Let me help you.” Again Regina said nothing but Emma saw her tense her shoulders and sway a little on her feet. “Regina, don’t be so stubborn. I’m going in. I can help.”

Regina turned back. “No! Stay where you are. I have to… This is my treasure.”

There it was: the lie.

Emma moved forward, her feet stepping uncertainly on the shaking ground that was groaning as the cracks opened all around them, small but snaking up, swallowing ground, becoming bigger and bigger, radiating towards Regina. “Treasure? For heaven’s sakes, Regina, stop protecting me.” _I don’t deserve it._ “Just hold my hand.” She reached out her hand and touched Regina’s hand, softer than her words.

Regina sobbed, something deep and unwillingly wrenched from her chest. But the distraction cost her dearly: The ground beneath her feet vanished and she fell through the hole in ground and clouds of yellow smoke rising from it.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Emma didn’t scream: she flew into the hole on the ground, her movement resolute, a strength of purpose all focused on Regina. She grabbed her hand before she had even hit the ground and the force of the queen’s magic fought the magic hurtling out of the hole on the ground. Emma grabbed her wrist. Regina looked up, wild eyes and wild hair and wild fear.

“Get out of here, Emma. Step back!”

It was difficult to understand what Regina was saying. Around them, everything was sound and fury and wind. The ground was screeching, howling like a beast dying. “No. I’m not letting go.”

“I can’t close it.  I waited too long. You have to go, Emma. Take Henry.” Regina looked down, her shoes gone and her feet dangling off a precipice of swirling, threatening magic raising like water in a well during a flood. “Tell him that it’s going to be okay. That I love him. Will you tell Henry that I love him, won’t you? Get Henry, and get out of Storybrooke. Please get Henry out. Get in your car and leave. It’s a strong sturdy car Emma. A lot of strong metal between you and danger. There is a good engine in there. Don’t look back.”

Emma’s arms were on fire, the strain of the helpless weight stretching her muscles and joints, the pull of the magic swirling below them making it all the more unbearable. Regina’s skin was mottled, white around Emma’s fingers and she felt her hold slip. “Regina. Stop this.”

“I didn’t lie, Emma. I didn’t. He is yours... I couldn’t have you back and risk you as well as Henry. You should not have come back, Emma. And you must leave now and take Henry with you. He loves you already.”

Emma felt as if her arms were being torn away from her torso, Regina’s weight amplified by the pull of the vortex. Her determination steeled. “Regina, dammit, stop saying goodbye. If you don’t help me close this, I’ll fall into it with you.”

Regina’s eyes went wild with fear. “You’d leave Henry on his own?”

“I won’t have to if you pull it together and help me close this. Come on, Regina, tell me what to do.” She gave Regina’s arms a tug and pulled her up, grabbed further up her arms. Her back screamed in agony. “I got you, I’m not letting go. Tell me how.”

Regina closed her eyes and looked down. Emma saw the same thing: the pretty colours of the vortex of magic, swirling, claiming them both, promising relief. “It hurts. I’m tired.”

_No. Absolutely not._ Emma ground her teeth. This was the one time she was not letting go. Emma focused on their hands and arms, joined together. A thread of white light began to envelop their hands, winding and winding around their arms like silk or rope and even when Regina’s arm slipped from Emma’s grasp, the thread was there and kept her from falling in, kept them joined, united.

Surprised, Emma opened her eyes and opened her right hand, tentatively. When Regina remained firmly in her hold, she reached back and used her free hand to pull herself up. “Come on Regina, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. Now let’s close this. How do I do it?”

Regina’s voice was weary and too low, all energy siphoned out of her. “I can’t.”

Emma could see sweat pearling her forehead and energy seeping out, as blood would, as if Regina had been wounded in her magic. It scared Emma and it gave her a first very real jolt of fear. “Are you really going to leave Henry?”

She saw Regina focusing, steeling herself. She saw her eyes open and sharpen and the line of her jaw set. “Focus on it. See it closing. See that hole becoming smaller and smaller, Emma. See it. You must see it.” And yet, her voice was still little above a croak, a whisper in the wind that Emma had to strain to hear.

Emma focused. She closed her eyes and did as Regina instructed, just as she began to pull her up using her free hand as a lever.

Slowly but steadily, the fireworks of the open portal died down, the brilliant clouds of smoke swirling around them abated and the pull on her arm lessened. She rose, pushing her body from the ground bringing Regina up with her and once the woman’s midsection had passed the lip of the hole, Emma threw all her might into falling backwards, bringing Regina’s inanimate body with her and closing the portal.

If asked, she wouldn’t have known how it was done at all.

…   …   …

She couldn’t tell how long she stood there, Regina’s unresponsive form in her arms, just cradling her, rocking her in her arms, holding viciously onto her and feeling like she was never letting go.

As the portal closed, the screeching and the howling subsided, the wind died down and the dust settled. Silence descended over the scene. When Emma looked up, the shelter was gone and a ring of people stood around them, just standing there, looking at them a waiting for something, a signal of some sort, a director’s claxon to end the scene.

Snow was the first to move, slowly, towards them. Silently, she knelt by Regina. “She’s going to be okay.”

“What do you care?” Emma blurted but it lacked bite, it lacked aggression.

“I really do.”

Ruby walked to them next, still holding onto a wooden crate. “Emma, can you move her from here?” She put the crate down next to them and touched her fingers gently to Regina’s pulse point on her neck.

“I don’t think I can.” Emma held Regina tighter, feeling hopeless.

“Listen, Grasshopper, you have to. Use your magic.” Emma was nodding with her head because no, she couldn’t do it, she just couldn’t. Everybody always expected great and many things from her. “You have to. There’s magic in the air still. And it’s making her weaker. It’s killing her.”

“Do it just like she taught you.” Snow pressed, her hand on Emma’s arm. “Get her out of here.” She touched Emma’s hair softly.“Just take her home.”

…  …  …

When she opened her eyes, Emma found herself on her bed, Regina still unconscious in her arms. She was breathing and her heartbeat was steady so Emma just pulled her legs from under Regina’s body and deposited her carefully on the bed.

She wanted to stay there. She wanted to just lay flat and rest for a little but she couldn’t. If she did that, she would sleep for a week. She was that tired. But Regina needed her. And there was that portal and whatever had been left of it. She stared at Regina, heart pulling her to stay, brain telling her to go and finish the job as Regina had been doing on her own.

The drain on her body was overwhelming, like feeling something vital being pulled away from her, making everything hurt. And she didn’t even rely on magic as much as Regina did. She knew magic was like life blood in Regina’s veins. Take the magic out of her and it was the same as bleeding her out.

Her heart won. She knelt on the floor by the bed. She wanted to touch Regina, to make sure she was okay, to just… dammit, she wanted to touch, she didn’t have to justify that she wanted to feel her, the warmth of her skin, the silkiness of her hair and her breath and everything else about her. She wanted to touch everything of Regina because she had fucking missed her so much she couldn’t, now that she was looking at her from this small distance, figure it out, why she had stayed away. Now that Regina had almost been lost to her, she couldn’t, just couldn’t forgive herself for ever thinking there would something more, something better than that touch. So damned stupid Emma Swan of the Summerlands. She could feel it now, she could touch and taste a violent hollowness in her bones, an ache so profound she couldn’t, just couldn’t, deal with it unless she touched, even if just a strand of brown hair.

Even if she had no right.

She settled for the basics. She got water from the kitchen, a wet cloth from the bathroom and switched on the heating. Regina’s skin was clammy and cold and Emma didn’t know what else to do.

So she put the water on the bedside table and the covered her with a comforter and took the wet towel in her hand and started cleaning Regina of what had happened by the Second Chance. She cleaned her hands, so dusty and scratched from her fall, her face, stained with tear tracks running in the dusty cheeks. She cleaned her feet, so, so cold, massaged them and stuffed them in warm socks from her drawer. She pulled out her business suit jacket and tucked in the comforter around her, brushed her hair out of her face.

Then, she sat there and waited.

…   …   …

The door downstairs opened and there were voices whispering and then footsteps pounding on the stairs to her room. Henry knocked on the door and when Emma whispered gently _yes_ he put his head through the door and then his whole body. She stood, feeling an absurd urge to touch the kid and check him for bumps and bruises, to hug and pull him into her and just… make sure he was okay. But when she stood and tried to do just that, he pushed past her. This was not the Henry that had sat with her during the campaign and exchanged stories of a town where only they felt time pass. This was a hurt child. And she had done that.

“Is my mom okay?” He asked and his voice broke. He knelt on the floor and took his mother’s hand in his and caressed it, a gesture so soft and tender that made Emma want to cry.

Emma had no reply to that. She hoped so. With all her heart. But she was truly scared. “Henry, I’m sorry… For…” She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. God, she was such a mess, she had made such a mess of things.

“You were mean to my mom.”

“I was. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Henry.”

“You’re an idiot.” Henry didn’t spare her a look. He was too concerned with his mother, too worried and Emma knew at that moment that it had always been just the two of them, no one else. Just them on their own. Everything hurt in her chest.

“I know. She told me.”

Henry adjusted the comforter around Regina’s shoulder and tucked her hair away from her face. Emma looked at his hands, the long narrow fingers, the shape of them so similar to her own. “If you hurt my mom again, I’m going to hurt you too, do you understand me, Emma of the Summerlands? I don’t care who you are, I will hurt you.” Yes, everything hurt, her chest, her bones, her heart, her brain. She reached out her hand to him but Henry pulled away.

The kid was ten, but Emma believed him. There was a fierce protectiveness about him, a light of battle in his green eyes that left no room for argument or patronising.

“I… huh...”

But Henry shook his head cutting her off. “Can I be alone with my mom now?”

“Sure kid.”

She dragged herself down the stairs. In the living room, her mother was surrounded by boxes of papers and animal feed and there was a tabby cat on the old sofa. She sat and pulled the cat to her lap and stroked its ears methodically, focusing intensely on the rhythm of her fingers because that was the only way to not feel her eyes and her throat burn burn burn with tears she had no right to now.

Ruby sat next to her and handed her a cup of tea and a plate of ginger cookies. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a failure.”

Ruby pulled her into a sideways hug and squeezed her tight into her side. “Is Regina awake?”

“No.”

Ruby bit a cookie and clearly mulled things over. “You haven’t failed.” Ruby reassured her, rubbing soothing lines up and down Emma’s arm.

“No? Ruby, I didn’t believe her… any of it.”

“ _Yet._ You haven’t failed _yet,_ Ducky. There’s no point in this little pity party you’re having here. Put on your big girl boots and deal with it. You haven’t failed _yet_.” Emma gave her a grateful look. “But there’s time, so get yourself together, huh?”

“What do you know, Ruby?”

Ruby sighed. “Nothing that it’s my business to talk about. I suggest you sit down with Regina and talk.”

“I called her a liar.” Emma rubbed her face and slumped further into the sofa littered with random things brought from the shelter before it all went to hell in a hand basket.

Ruby gave her a playful smack on the upside of the head. “You’re an idiot. It’s a miracle you managed to grow up.”

“Ruby? How did you know?”

“Know about what?”

“Getting her out of there?” Emma gave up on the pretence of normal the cookies engendered and pushed the plate away.

Ruby took it from Emma and put on the table next to her. “Because I’ve seen it. We all have.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can spit from one end of Storybrooke to the other, Emma! Things get seen, word gets around. We’re not stupid, Emma. The town is dying. And Regina is running herself ragged trying to hold all it together because god knows what will happen to us if it goes down one of those portals that’s been opening the town up like we’re some god-damned Swiss cheese.”

Emma had a feeling she was going to embarrass herself, that she was going to lose control of her bodily functions right on that couch. “Since when?”

“11 years, give or take. It’s fraying, tearing. The portal is just one of those things. Alright, maybe the worst, the most dramatic, but there have been others, so many others and we’ve all seen the Mayor patching things up. It seems like it’s the only thing that can be done.”

“Why?” Ruby’s only reply was silence and a pointed look.  “Is it because of me? Is it because I left?”

“There it is!” Ruby retorted dryly and then took pity on Emma’s bedraggled face. “Oh Emma…. Look, I don’t know anything about magic such as this. But what I know is that we lived eighteen years without incident and the day you left, the first portal opened and nearly killed Regina. She closed that thing with – mostly for our benefit, I think - an irritated scrunch of her nose but…”

“But she could have left. You guys could have left.”

“No, Emma, we couldn’t. And not just because this is home… You have no idea just how special you are, do you?” She was going to add something else but bit instead into her forgotten  cookie. “Besides… You could have come back. Your mother asked and asked and asked…”

“I would have. If you had told me.”

“Would you, Emma? You wanted so badly to be normal that you just left everything that makes you special behind. You left home and everyone in it behind. I had to go and get you.”

“I thought home was the Enchanted Forest.”

Ruby swiped away a tear Emma was not aware of shedding. “Don’t deflect Emma.  Home’s here. We like it here. We like what we became- even if that’s not what you had in mind growing up. It’s not easy leaving Storybrooke. And besides… there’s no telling what would happen if we left Storybrooke. If _she_ left Storybrooke. We don’t know if these portals opening would be limited to the town. What if they consumed Storybrooke and then moved on to the next town and next one after that?”

Emma put her hands over her eyes and rubbed.

“Have you guys helped?”

“The fairies couldn’t do it. It seeps the magic out of them too, leaves them on the floor like flies. And no one trusts the Dark One to do this. Not that he’s ever so concerned about it. And as for the rest of us… let’s just say that safe for the virgin sacrifice there would be nothing we could do. It’s one thing to magic away frost or speak to animals but something of this magnitude? No…”

“So she’s been doing it alone.” Emma felt bile raising and burning, burning.

“Yes.”

“No wonder she’s exhausted. No wonder she looks ill every time she closes down one of these things.”

“It’s more than that, Emma.” Ruby sighed. “Whatever is poking at the fabric of Storybrooke, It’s like it’s bleeding her. Gold stayed away. I think that bastard is waiting for her to die so that he can be free of her.”

“Is that why he wanted the title deeds to the Second Chance?”

Ruby tooted, much like Granny in the face of idiocy. “He never wanted anything from the Second Chance. He’s not stupid enough to want to be close to that or any other portal that’s going to seep his magic away. He just wanted to chip away at her, drive a wedge between you two. I think- and don’t quote me on this because I know fuck all about magic- the town needs both of you. Like…you two are the balance. If one of you is gone, then it’s all out of kilter, everything goes awry.”

“Why didn’t you give her my address? My number? Now we’ll never know if I would have come back or not…”

“She’s had those since the beginning, Emma.”

Emma’s hands shook and her eyes filled to brim. “So, she didn’t want me.” There was no question there, just rejection. “She didn’t want me in her life.”

“This is the part of the conversation you really should have with her. Third wheels are so last year, don’t you think? But just to save you time, let me say this: you are an idiot. And we all know what village is missing its idiot. Whatever you think you know, Emma, you don’t. Now.” She stood, dusted her skinny jeans still covered in dust and gave Emma a look that the princess could not quite define. “How about you go upstairs? She’s awake. I can hear her from here. The town is okay. For now at least. You can tell her that. She will want to know that.”

“What do I do, Ruby?”

“I’d so like to tell you to be true to yourself, but we both know that’s some shitty advice.” Ruby gave her a wink and kissed her hair just like she used to when Emma was a little girl. “Stop fighting against it, Emma.”

…   …   …

Emma prepared a cup of tea and added a generous amount of honey. She toasted some bread and slathered it with jam. Then she took a deep breath and went upstairs.

When she opened the door, Henry was laying in bed, the little spoon to Regina’s big one. Regina’s scratched hands were tight around his, cupping them gently, reassuring the child. She was whispering to him gently, and he was nodding. When he saw her at the door, he sat up on the bed and issued his challenge: “Get away from her.” The tone was so Regina there could be no doubt where he came from.

Regina sat up in bed and pulled the comforter tightly around her- defensively - if Emma had to describe it.

“It’s okay, Henry. Emma and I need to talk.”

“Are you sure mom? You don’t have to.”

Regina gave him a tired smile. “I know. But... would it be okay if I wanted to?”

Emma found herself being a little jealous of that wordless understanding between them. As if Henry knew all the secrets that kept eluding her and she was the fool here. He kissed his mother on the forehead and straightened his frame as he got up. When he passed Emma and her tray, he stood perfectly still in front of her, and there was no mistaking the look in his yes, the stance of his body for anything else but threat and warning. “Shout if you need me.” He gave Regina a smile that excluded Emma and then walked out, closing the door silently behind him.

Emma stood there, tray in her hands, feeling awkward and not sure where to start. “Are you still cold?”

Regina clutched at the comforter a little tighter. “No… Henry is a little portable heater.” Her voice was small and gruff and if Emma was sure of anything at that moment was that this was not going to be an easy conversation even if Regina had just extended her a peace offering.

“Can I?” Emma looked pointedly at the bed. As Regina assented, Emma sat down carefully- not only because of the tea on her tray but because she’d do anything not to disturb the fraught peace of that room. She offered the tray to Regina who took the dainty tea cup but didn’t drink.

“Look, it’s just tea. I made it myself. I didn’t spit in, poison it, or use old tea bags. It’s okay, I promise.”

“Laxative?”

Emma smiled. “No.”

Regina took a tentative sip and scrunched her nose in distaste. “It’s still disgusting.”

“It’s all the honey in it.”

Regina raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to sweeten things up?”

“I should, shouldn’t I? But no. I think you need the sugar. That’s why you’re cold.” Emma slumped her shoulders. She deserved so much more grief than just his amused distrust.

Regina sipped on her tea with a pinched nose. “Thank you for the socks.” She offered again when the silence was enough to make Emma fidget.

“Welcome. Drink the disgusting tea, though. It’s warm, it will help.”

Regina sipped it and Emma offered her the toast.

“Emma, I’ not sick nor an invalid.”

“I know. Eat anyway.” Emma pulled her feet up and sat cross legged on the bed. “You scared me.”

“Did I?”

“The whole thing did, actually. The whole menacing hole on the ground trying to suck you in. Pretty scary. The way you collapsed. How cold you were. I think I lost a drop or two in my pants.

“Charming!” Regina picked up a piece of toast and bit into it.

“Don’t.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Emma fidgeted. She didn’t fidget, not usually, but here she was, unable to stop herself. “Don’t be glib about this, Regina. Please. Don’t.”

Regina didn’t answer, she simply worked her way through the first piece of toast. When she was done, she looked tired even from that small effort. “You want answers.”

“I’m not sure I’m entitled to them but yes, I do.”

“Emma… I….” Regina’s hands shook slightly and Emma steadied the hand holding the cup with her own.

“Look… we’ve established that I’m an idiot. But I’m not stupid.”

“No, you’re not.” Regina took a deep breath and then a sip of her tea to give herself time. “What do you want to know?”

“Graham.”

“I didn’t kill Graham, Emma.”

Emma looked at her, intently. “Okay.” And it was the truth. No doubt. “You told me that before.”

“You didn’t believe me before.” And again there was that hurt that Regina disguised so well.

“I know. I’m sorry. I was angry. And drunk. I was angry and drunk and jealous… The autopsy said he died of natural causes.”

Regina stared into her cup as if she had been looking for something in it. “He did. He had a heart condition.”

“The autopsy said he had his heart. But I thought you had it… for him helping my mom…”

“I did have it... for a long time.” Regina’s hand tensed around the cup, her joints going white from the pressure around the china. “I gave it back to him when Henry was born.” She saw Emma’s questioning look and took a shaky deep breath. “He was kind to me. He was there, and he did things I never commanded him to. He brought me ice cream I didn’t want to crave. He helped me assemble the nursery and then child proof. He drove me to the hospital when I went into labour and he was kind to me in a way I didn’t know anyone would be. I gave him his heart back because he was kind to me when he had no reason to be.” Emma swallowed thickly and looked down at Regina’s hand still cupped in hers. “Giving him his heart back made him vulnerable to his disease... He told me he preferred it this way. That this way he would make it count. I don’t think he did, though. He was trapped here. Because of what I did.”

Everything in Emma hurt, like a knife twisting in her chest and ripping out things she needed to live. She was jealous still, of a dead man. Graham had been there, had done things for Regina that she should have done herself. “Were you together for long?” The sense of shame was overwhelming.

“Not that it’s any of your business, Emma, but we were never together as you imagine… Have you ever been so lonely that the only way not to drown was to cling to any ships passing in the night? So lonely that you will do just about anything for the hollow in your chest to stop… echoing you lost? Graham and I had that in common. It didn’t matter that weren’t going in the same direction.”

“You were not in love with him?”

Regina opened her eyes wide, so wide trying to avoid tears spilling. “He was my friend, Emma, that was all. We kept each other less lonely.”

Emma wiped her palms on her legs feeling relived and guilty for that relief. She heaved a sigh that made Regina look up expectantly. “This portal thing… why? Why now?”

“Do you want the truth Emma, or a pretty fiction you can live with?” Regina wiped a furtive tear when she lost the battle against it.

“The truth Regina. I know you’ve been hiding stuff from me since I came back. Quite possibly, to spare my feelings. I don’t deserve that kind of consideration from you.”

“You’re right: you don’t.” It was an attempt at bite but Regina sighed as if accepting defeat. “Since you left.”

“So what, I walked past the town line and holes started opening?”

“Something like that.” Regina heaved a sigh and avoided Emma’s gaze for a moment. “There was some quite violent ones especially in the beginning… most, it was a sort of progression. Brief spurts of magic first, just here and there, not constant like now. As time passed, the frequency increased, the power behind each of those events as well. As if the magic that holds Storybrooke here is waning. This portal was not a first. But this was the first time it was this violent, this… strong.”

“But you knew this was going to happen…” Emma ventured.

“I did, yes. I track these things.”

“I thought they were random.”

“In a way they are. But they seem to consistently have their epicentre at the shelter.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t figured it out. Maybe it’s the place from where Storybrooke expanded from or maybe because it is a naturally thinner barrier between this world and whatever others are out there but I can’t be sure.”

“So… knocking down the shelter…”

“I know you think otherwise, Emma, but I was not after destroying it… I needed to be able to see what I’m dealing with. I needed to be able to access the source and try to close it before it opened.”

“Ruby said it sucks magic out of you…”

“Not just me. The fairies have tried as well.” Her lip curled in distaste. Everyone knew that Regina had, at best, a fraught relationship with the fairies.

“And still you were going there to deal with it. Knowing what it could do to you.”

Regina sighed, tired. “Who else was going to do it, Emma? Rumpelstiltskin? He wouldn’t throw his cane at it let alone any of his magic. I brought us here. All of this is because I couldn’t leave it well enough alone back there.”

“Is it because I left?” Emma picked at the blanket slightly raised by Regina’s feet.

“Emma…”

“The truth Regina. Just that. I can deal.”

“You have to understand, Emma. I cast the curse, I didn’t design it. I didn’t make the stipulations. I was stupid, I know… careless in not reading the fine print… but I never gave it much consideration. I just wanted out. I wanted out of the Enchanted Forest. Anywhere would do. Anyway I could… So careless.”

Emma put her hand over Regina’s toes under the blanket and gave them a small reassuring squeeze. “It’s not… I get it. You wanted to leave that place as much as I wanted to leave Storybrooke.”

Regina nodded. “I couldn’t breathe. It was like being buried alive… I would have done just about anything to escape… So I did. I cast the curse and I brought us all here and I trapped you.” Regina looked around the room, trying and failing to find somewhere she could anchor her gaze, draw strength from. In the end, she gave up and looked Emma straight in eyes. “I trapped you here. You were right. I know what you felt, why you wanted to leave. When we… when you kissed me, that first night… for the first time, that emptiness in my heart was filled and I wanted to free you… I had hoped that you would want to stay. I was that selfish that I wanted to you to want to stay for me but… it was all you wanted to leave and wanted you to have that…”

“Is that why you gave me the Bug?”

“It’s a good car, Emma…” Regina’s eyes were deep pools of sadness and loss, shining with tears. “But… it would seem that…” Regina took a fortifying breath. “That it takes two to keep Storybrooke alive, to keep it solid and…”

“That’s you and me?”

“That’s the light and the dark, the good and the evil, the Evil Queen and the Saviour.” Emma furiously wiped at a tear of her own that had sneaked past her iron control. “That night you left… I felt it, I felt that first thread unravelling, fraying. Rumpelstiltskin took great delight in telling me exactly that when I went to him for help.”

“Because….” Emma prompted when Regina fell silent.

“Because he knew that he had already won. He knew that you had wanted to leave since you were first sentient of Storybrooke’s particular situation and he knew that whether I allowed you to leave or whether I made you stay, I would always have lost that battle.”

“And Storybrooke falling apart would have allowed him to leave?”

“Yes. In a way...” Regina shrugged because Rumple’s fate really was not at the top of her list of priorities.

“But people could have died.”

Regina hummed in reply. Emma gave her back the tea cup and insisted Regina took some more.

“But what about Henry? What if something had happened to you?”

“I have made all the necessary arrangements.”

“Arrangements? Regina, your son would have been an orphan. Why didn’t you just up sticks and leave?”

“Because I can’t, Emma. That barrier is not the same for as it is for you.”

“What’s the difference?”

“You can leave and go out and come back and nothing changes for you. But for me, it… I can go away but everything that I am will be lost. All my memories, all would be gone. The stories the curse gave everyone would have taken over. Your mother would be Mary Margaret Blanchard, you father would have been David Nolan and they would had never heard of you. They wouldn’t remember having met, having a child. You would have been an orphan. I would be a mayor of a non-existent town, with no idea I have a son. My son would have been an orphan either way. I just can’t.” A lone tear escaped Regina’s eyes and she seemed wholly unaware of it. To Emma it was like a knife twisting in her heart.

“But Ruby left and nothing happened to her…”

“Emma…”

“No, listen, okay, she left and she will do it again and return again. She just asked me for my apartment so that she and girlfriend…”

“Ruby didn’t ask that for herself. She asked for her girlfriend... She can’t go back… Emma. It was a one-time thing…”

“I don’t get it…”

“Ruby took a risk, Emma. I used what was left in my vault to brew a potion that allowed to her pass safely. I wasn’t certain it would work and I have nothing else to work with… and it was risky… If it hadn’t worked…” Regina rubbed at her temple.

“Why did you do it, then? Did you know she was going to get me?”

Regina sighed and it was the saddest sound she could have uttered. “I had imagined… Hoped…”

“But you told me to go… When I first came back, you tried to make me go back…”

Regina held onto the cup as a downing person to floating debris. “I did. I wanted you to not come back. To be safe. Storybrooke is not safe. But I… missed you…” and it was as if those two words had been wrenched out of her. “I missed you and couldn’t… And Henry wanted to meet you…”

Emma gave up on the stubborn tears that kept on escaping. She took Regina’s hand gingerly in hers. There was so much, so damned much they need to talk about. “Tell me about Henry. I want to know about him.” She saw Regina flinching and even more telling, she saw her reaching to the second piece of toast she was not going to eat. “I want to know about Henry, about those arrangements you made if something had happened to you.”

“There is nothing to know about Henry. He’s my son. He’s the sun and the moon and the stars to me. He’s sweet and clever. Gets in trouble a lot.” That pulled a smiled into her face, a smile Emma hadn’t seen since that first and last time they had made love.

“Just like me.” Emma said and her voice broke into shards that cut her throat on the way out. Because she hadn’t seen it, hadn’t felt it, hadn’t believed it.

“Emma.” Regina pleaded quietly.

“He’s my son, Regina, isn’t he? He was telling the truth and I have a son.” Emma spoke, unable to give Regina the reprieve she had nearly begged for with that whispering of Emma’s name.

Regina worked something in her throat and the sound she uttered was limp and frayed around the edges.

Emma took the toast from Regina’s hand and dropped it back on the plate with the dull sound of toast gone stone cold. Diligently, she took the tray and set it on the floor next to the bed, moving closer to Regina. She took that remarkable face in her hands and caressed the cheekbones with her thumbs gently, so gently, an apology in each fingertip.

“And you never told me.” Emma fought valiantly against the tears but there was no way she was winning this battle.

“You never came back.” Emma’s stomach sunk, heavy, painful. She rubbed at the heartburn rising from her stomach.  “He wanted to get to know you, Emma. Now he does. It doesn’t mean that you have to be a part of his life. You don’t have to worry.” Regina lowered her eyes into her lap. “He doesn’t need anything from you, Emma. I know you like your life uncomplicated. He won’t go after you or make it hard for you.”

“Just like you.” Regina flinched and her breath hitched. “I know you couldn’t get out of Storybrooke but… you could have called. You could have written, emailed, sent me a damned pigeon… I would have come back… Dammit, Regina, did you ever want me back?”

She could see Regina trying to lie. In the end, she saw her giving up. “I did. Every day for the past eleven years.”

The answer was not what Emma had been expecting. Not that she had a plan for how miserable conversation was supposed to happen. It just took her by surprise and all she could do was to pull Regina to her, to lace her arms around her middle and release all the tension in her. Regina’s declaration had been more than enough to break her control, to let go of her resentment, to open the flood gates to all that she always felt for Regina since that night when she had first kissed Regina in middle of a dewy orchard. “I’m sorry.”

Regina let herself be hugged but she never let herself hug back. She closed her eyes and leant back against the pillows that smelled of Emma. “I’m not. I did what I had to do Emma. I knew how you felt, to not have any choice in what happens to you, in whether you stay or go. I couldn’t do that, not to you, not when… Things had to happen this way.”

“No, they didn’t. Regina, you could have told me, you could have told me to come back. I would have.”

Regina’s smile was the saddest thing Emma had ever seen. “You would have hated me. You would have hated your life here.” Her hand trembled as she took a lock of Emma’s dishevelled hair and carded her fingers through it, so gently she could have been spinning silk. “I have held on so tightly to everything in my life only to see it all go away anyway. I wouldn’t have been able to see it happening, to lose you while we were so tangled up with a baby and a town to take care of. I had to let you go Emma. You had to be free to go and see the world. It would not have been fair to take that away from you. You and Henry are the two people I have loved well in my life. I did, I promise I did.”

Emma tilted her head until it was cradled in Regina’s palm. She rubbed her cheek in that warmth, eyes closed in shame. “How am I going to fix this, Regina? How am I going to make it up to you and Henry? He seems pretty determined to put a few miles between me and him. And… Does he hate me? Not that I blame him... ”

“It would be easier for him if he did, Emma.” Regina sighed, her hand still cupping Emma’s cheek.

“And you? Do you hate me?”

“It would be easier for me too...” She lowered her hand then. The air between them was thick and cloying.

Emma waited a beat. “I want to do something, okay? Don’t fireball me or anything, please.”

“What?”

“I want to hug you. Just a minute or so… Please, just for a minute. I won’t ask for more, I promise.”

Regina was struck silent. Emma took the moment and slid closer to her on the bed and slid her arms around that body she knew so well, gently, careful not to overstay her welcome – if that’s what Regina’s silence and rigid posture meant. But then Regina breathed deeply and her hands rose from her lap to Emma’s back and Emma had an overwhelming need to cry.

“I’m so sorry.”

Regina touched her back softly, gently, her hair offered comfort that Emma was sure she didn’t deserve. “I know. I am too.”

“All this time… All this time away, I never managed to forget about you. Like in the simplest things… like changing a tire on the Bug or getting coffee or lighting a candle. All those things. All this time, all the world that I saw, Regina, I wanted for you to see it with me. I wanted you with me in the pictures, I wanted your signature on the postcards we would send home... I wanted you clothes in my bags... I wanted you everywhere I went. I hated you for not going after me... I missed you like a foot or a hand... In the beginning I didn’t know how to... how to be without you there...”

Regina’s breath was ragged and unsteady. Emma felt her grab onto the belt of her jeans and the tears fall against her top and soak through to her skin. “I hated you so much. I hated you as much as I loved you. Every day. All the time.” Regina sighed and Emma felt the rush of that warm air leave goosebumps on her skin “How? How did we make a baby, Regina?”

It took a while until Regina was able to answer. No matter, Emma thought, they had time, she was not going anywhere. “The same way we broke the curse.” Regina answered, voice gruff and sore.

“We?” Emma asked when Regina pulled back, retreating into the pillow at her back as if she could make herself so small she would disappear. Emma mourned the arms around her, the hand on her belt, the breath on her neck.

“We. You didn’t think that either would happen if only one of us was…”

“Regina, I’m Snow White’s daughter, I was a brat to you. I was clumsy and sulky and resentful…  I’m an absolute idiot… What was there about me to love?”

Regina looked up from her clasped hands, earnest, agitated . “All of those things, Emma. The defiance. The spark. Until that night you threw an apple at me, I had spent too many years feeling only hate and then feeling nothing at all. The nothing at all was slowly killing me, the emptiness, the loneliness... That night… I knew I would finally get to feel something, even if it was just pain. I wanted to feel something for a change.”

“And I did that. I hurt you.” Emma took Regina’s hands in hers and was glad when Regina did not break the contact.

“You did. But for the first time, I was not alone. You weren’t afraid of me. You didn’t try to get me under your boot. You always treated me like an equal and the way you looked at me…”

“Like you were the sun and that moon and the stars to me…”

“Yes.” Regina smiled, small and watery though it was. “I never understood why.”

“Because you treated me like an equal. You never looked at me expecting many great and wonderful things. I was Emma to you, not the Saviour. You were my open sky, Regina, even when I felt trapped here.”

Regina stared at her, straight in the eye, an unwavering gaze. “And so we made a baby, Emma.”

Silence stretched, easy like it used to be between them as if silence had been their true language and words only a poor translation.

“I missed everything. Can you ever forgive me?”

Regina was past any moment she could have controlled her tears, any reaction and so they simply slid down her cheeks. “You left me, Emma.”

“There was a world to see. I wanted to see it.” Emma rasped, she herself caught in that overwhelming moment.

“Did you?” Regina asked. “Did you see enough of the world?”

“Yeah.” Emma wiped her face furiously. “It’s shit. Turns out I like it here.”

A smile bloomed in Regina’s face, a smile so pretty and clean and hopeful that Emma would do anything to see it again. “Even with your parents and all the other lunatics?”

“Yeah.” It came out as a hiccup. “Will you let me stay?”

“Emma… can you really stay?” Regina’s voice trailed off.

Emma saw her future in a heartbeat: she wouldn’t be able to leave Storybrooke, not without leaving a part of herself behind and risking those she was leaving. She would have a son whom she wanted to be responsible for, she would have Regina if Regina would have her… she would have her parents, the townsfolk, the gossip and the same smallness she had always wanted to leave behind. She would have a life here, steady like the tides and the seasons. All she had never wanted.

And all she wanted so desperately now.

Regina took the Sheriff’s star that Emma had left on the table next to her and held it in her palm. “You’re already the Sheriff and I? I never had any power to make you stay.”

“Yeah you did and we both know that. You just didn’t use it. I know it’s selfish, but thank you for not making me stay. You’re right: I would have held it against you. But look at me, Regina, look at me now: Please let me stay. I know you told me to get out of Storybrooke, but―”

“To protect you, Emma, you and Henry. To make sure you didn’t get hurt, to make sure Henry had a place to go when things got out of hand here.”

“So those were your arrangements?” Regina nodded. “You were going to send the kid to me, in Boston?”

Regina nodded again. “Henry has known about you all his life, Emma. You may not have known this, but you have always been his mother. And he had strict instructions to get out of town, to go to you, introduce himself.”

“And if I hadn’t… Regina, I could have… not believed him…”

Regina cupped her cheek, the golden star between her palm and Emma’s skin, marking them both. “You underestimate your son, Emma. He’s so much like you... hardly ever takes a no for an answer... he’s a very persuasive little boy.”

“My son… I have a son…” Emma broke, eyes wild and urgent. Desperate she held onto Regina’s fingers still around her face. Regina hummed again, her hand never leaving Emma’s cheek. “Let me stay. Let me make it up to you and Henry. Let me…” Emma’s voice shattered around the edges.

“Emma… Henry is a novelty right now, Please… I have to ask this because he’s my baby: Don’t treat him like a novelty. He is not a toy. You can’t play with him and then get tired and walk away. I won’t let you do that to him, do you understand me, Emma? I have loved you for a very long time and god help me but I love you still but I won’t let you hurt Henry. I won’t let you hurt our son.”

Emma nodded solemnly. When Regina seemed to have hit a wall, Emma raised the palm of her hand to her lips, softly, giving Regina ample time to react.

The comforter slid into Regina’s lap but she made no move to cover herself again. “What about you?” Emma looked up from soft that palm where the sheriff’s star was still shining to Regina’s face. Love shone out of that face, unadulterated love, unmoved by time and life and past and abandonment.

Regina didn't look away and neither did Emma. There was still love there and that was all that mattered. Emma would fight to deserve it again because the one thing she had learnt since she had came back home, the one thing that had been made very clear by the hole that had open on the ground sucking Regina away from her was that you could lose the ones you loved in the blink of an eye. And when it happened, you weren't thinking about all the shit that drove you crazy, all the reasons that made you stay away. You thought of all the reasons that kept you together, that brought you back home. Her heart broke, shattered, and she couldn’t breathe. Here Regina was, looking at her like she used to, that mix of fear and curiosity and love and a million other things that made her the remarkable woman she was and Emma wasn’t running scared, she wasn’t pulling away. She just wanted to fall into her gravitational pull.

“What about me? Will you leave me, Emma?” She held Emma’s face in her hands and she wiped the tears that were falling one by one down Emma’s cheeks. “Will you hurt me again?” She brought Emma’s face to hers, kissed her lightly at first, little touches of the mouth, gentle breath caressing Emma’s skin but, with each kiss, with each touch, more and more want and greed, and want and pure desire.

Emma couldn’t breathe. Her chest was tight and it hurt and she thought that she couldn’t care less if this was the way she was going to die. “I won’t. I won’t go anywhere. I promise. Never again. Never…” She trailed off as Regina soaked up her promise, her words, her breath.

Regina opened her hand, the sheriff’s star shining duly. “I trust you.”

“I love you, Regina. All these years, all this distance and I never managed to stop.”

Regina moved onto her knees and hid her face on Emma’s shoulders, holding onto to her. “Did you try?” She spoke as she hid her face and her tears on unruly blond hair.

“I did. I tried so hard. But you’re… in my blood, in my bones… I couldn’t. I walked away from you but I never stopped loving you. It just got worse. It grew and it took every bit of strength in me not to come back. Now that I came back, I can’t leave. I can’t. Please let me stay.” Emma begged. If Regina asked her to leave, she was not quite sure how she’d survive.

Regina pinned the star that Emma didn’t take to Emma’s belt. “Stay, Emma don’t ever go away…”

Emma pulled Regina into her and closed her arms around her, tight, so tight that Regina couldn’t breathe. Regina couldn’t find any fault with it. “I won’t. I promise. I won’t.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Miss Blanchard’s cinnamon cookies were honestly the best cookies in the world. His mother worried too much about his sugar intake to make anything but healthy versions of everything which was probably why these won in comparison. He doubted his mom’s wouldn’t be even better if she decided to make chocolate chip cookies or anything else with honest to god sugar. So he dunked the cookie in a glass of milk the size of a small bucket and sighed, trying to relax.

If only he didn’t have to worry about his mom’s heart. He liked Emma- despite everything. It was after all a tall order to take it at face value that two women could make a baby. He didn’t hold it against her even if it was not how he had imagined the whole thing to go. But he liked Emma. He had liked her even when she was just that ideal that his mom had loved, the stuff of his bedtime stories. He liked her when she arrived and became real- he liked that she was so much the opposite of mom, so free, so light. His mom seemed tethered to the ground, unable to fly. He wanted better for her and knew- he had known all along- that she needed Emma for that. Even if he sometimes resented Emma for leaving them both. Even if she hadn’t known about him, she had known about his mom and he doubted that there would any explanation good enough to cover that. If she loved his mom, how could she have left her behind? The soggy cookie broke and plopped with a splash into the milk snapping him out of his thoughts.

Miss Blanchard sat next to him with a cup of steaming tea and a cookie of her own. She gave him a smile and broke the cookie before daintily biting into it.  “Emma still does that, you know?

“What?”

“She still dunks her cookies in milk when she’s worried about something.”

“She does?” Henry perked up. He liked talking to Miss Blanchard and Mr Nolan about Emma. Miss Blanchard, especially was very quick to tell him stories about Emma.

“Mmm. She’d been dunking cookies a lot lately. You look so much like my Emma.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes. I really do” She sipped her tea and looked at the closed door of Emma’s bedroom on the upper floor. “They’ll work it out, you know?”

“How can you be sure?” Henry had long ago stopped querying Miss Blanchard’s motives. She was always eager to talk to him, to talk to him about his mom, about Emma, about everything and anything. And now, this unwavering belief mom and Emma would work things out. Like she wanted them to.

“Because we worked very hard at this. Because this is the way it’s supposed to be.”

“Miss Blanchard….”

“Henry, I wish you would call me Grandma.” She said with a smile. “Or Nana.”

“ _Nana?”_ Henry had a moment of panic. “Miss Blanchard, you knew?” Henry stared at Miss Blanchard as if he was seeing her for the very first time.

“Oh, Henry… of course I did. I’m your Grandmother. I knew from the moment I first set eyes on you. Your mom doesn’t know this,” She lowered her tone of voice and leaned further into Henry, “but I was volunteering at the hospital at the time you were born, so I spent a few nights looking at you in your bassinette.” Snow gave him a brilliant smile, radiant, really. “You opened your eyes to me every time I came in. And when I saw your eyes, I knew it.” Snow ran her fingers up and down on the cup while she studied Henry. “I knew I had seen those eyes staring right at me- from David and from Emma. And the timing was right. I knew that Emma and your mom… well…” She blushed and avoided Henry’s gaze for a moment. “I knew, Henry. I knew since the curse broke and I can well guess where Emma spent the night before she left Storybrooke… Your mother gave her that car, did you know? Emma’s Bug? Regina gave it to her. That’s why she’s still holding on to it.”

Henry smiled but it was something little and there was worry behind it. “Do you hate my mom, still?”

“I never did, Henry. We were very angry at each other. Well… she may have hated me for a while and I can’t say that I didn’t deserve it, but… not for a very long time now.”

“Because of me?”

Snow smiled at Henry and ran her hand through his soft hair. “You are a very perceptive little boy, aren’t you, Henry? It’s not because of you, though- or not just. You were a gift I had no right to. But… your mother? She loves my daughter, I know she does. I have known Regina for a long time now, and know how she loves… it’s with everything in her. When your mother loves, Henry, you could not ask for more or better. And she loved my daughter like that. That’s all a mother asks for: for their children to be loved well, to be put above everything else, to be loved like they are the most important thing in the whole world.”

“My mom let Emma go…” Henry ventured.

Snow put her cup down and took Henry’s hands in hers. “Exactly. Henry you’re a very smart little boy but some things you need to get older to truly understand. This might be one of them: when your mother let Emma go, she gave Emma her freedom. A choice. She gave her wings. She gave Emma the world that Emma was so desperate for. She could have made Emma stay. She only had to ask. When I saw you, when I saw Regina raising you all on her own, I loved her for it. I loved her for her strength, for her love for my daughter. Because she loved my daughter the best she could.”

Henry stared at his grandmother and let the words shuffle around in his head hoping for them to make sense. “Mom was going to send me to Emma in Boston if things got very bad here… If something happened to her.”

“She was?”

Henry nodded solemnly. “That was before Emma arrived…”

“And now?” Snow prompted.

Henry shrugged. “Do you think Emma is going to like me… Grandma?”

Snow smiled but she hid it behind her cup. “Henry, Emma was fascinated by you from the moment she met you. She doesn’t talk much, Emma, you know, not to me anyway. I’ve always been a part of the things she wanted to get away from, but she asked me over and over about you. Well played by the way…. Buying her drinks. The way to her heart has always been though her stomach.” Henry smiled at that but made no comment. “All this time you were helping her with the election… why do you think she did it? It wasn’t like she wanted the whole campaign thing. My simpleton little daughter thought she would win against your mother just by doing her job. She probably still thinks that.” She paused and stared Henry in the eye. “She loves you, Henry. And Emma doesn’t love easily.” Henry dunked another cookie and popped it into his mouth. “The question is, Henry, can you forgive her?”

Henry pondered. The truth was, he didn’t know. He had seen his mom pining for Emma all his life, privately, in the safety of her room. She thought he didn’t see it. She thought she could keep it from him, but he knew her. He knew she had been missing a vital part of herself and he hadn’t known how to make it better. He could forgive Emma for walking out on him because he had his mom and Grandma was right, he could not have asked for better. But his mom could. His mom should have had better. But Emma was the one she wanted- he had seen it since Emma had first returned. He had seen the way her hands trembled when they spoke of his other mother. He had seen the way she stared at Emma’s back and he had heard her crying softly in her home office when Emma had come to the house to accuse her. His mom loved Emma still and he would not stand in the way. He would not make her life harder than it had already been this last eleven years. “I guess. But I hope she has good explanation for being away for so long. I want her to promise me to never leave again. To never hurt my mom again.”

Snow sipped at her tea. _That might be a tall order_. “What if she doesn’t? What if that’s a promise she can’t make, Henry?”

“Why wouldn’t she? I mean… she broke the curse. She must have known that you don’t break a dark curse with a peck on the cheek. That it had to be real. That it had to be true love. You don’t hurt your true love…”

“Henry, can I tell you something?” Henry looked at her, inquisitive. “I, myself, only realised this a very short time ago… True love? It’s scary for some people. It’s very scary. Emma got scared. Regina is this force of nature and she has always known what she was looking for. She has always known that her happiness was a person regardless of the place. But Emma… Emma was the opposite. She thought that she could be happy in a place, regardless of the person.”

“And now?”

“And now? That hole on the ground was sobering, Henry. She held your mother’s hand while she was being sucked down that thing. She could have lost her… I think… I think she realised that it doesn’t matter the place. All that matters is the person. The right person. Regina is here and she can’t leave. My daughter is stubborn and wilful and god knows she has a temper to her but she’s not dumb, Henry.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Henry stared at his glass as if all the answers could be found in the little specks of cinnamon suspended in the remaining milk. “Okay…”

….   …  …

The door to the bedroom upstairs opened and Emma emerged, eyes reddened and skin blotchy. Henry was no expert but he thought she had been crying. His mother was still unsteady on her feet and he silently approved of the way Emma moved slowly waiting for his mom, taking her arm as they made their way down the stairs.

“Everything okay, mom?”

“Henry…” His mother whispered, that warmth in her voice she saved specially for him.

He finished his milk and pushed away at the plate of cookies. “Everything alright?” He asked again measuring Emma, head to toe, unflinching.

“Yes.” Regina smiled. “We would like to have a word, Henry.”

Emma helped her to the armchair and perched on the arm of the thing, looking nervous, scared shitless and absolutely unable to create distance between her and Regina.

He took them both in, his mom’s hand tenderly in Emma’s.   _Oh boy!_ “Okay. Are you going to tell me that you’re together, now?” He couldn’t help it: he felt a little jealous, a little betrayed. A little hopeful too and it was very confusing. He took a vicious little pleasure in seeing the way Emma’s head jerked to his mom, how her hand squeezed his mom’s seeking comfort.

“No, Henry. We will work at being together. We want to take time and think about the things we want, about the way we are now and what that means to us. Emma would like to get to know you too, as her son, rather than as the boy who chats her up in a bar over drinks…” Regina smiled fondly at him. “My relationship with Emma is one thing. Your relationship with her is another. She would like to get to know you.” She waited a beat for Henry.

“She left, mom.” His voice caught in his throat and it sounded small and childish.

“I know, Henry.” Regina agreed. 

“And you’re okay with that? Is this one of those true love things? You’re just going to walk all over how it felt for you, for me, to be alone all this time?”

“We had each other Henry. We were not alone.” Regina reminded Henry with a soft smile.

“You know what I mean.” Henry blustered.

Regina sighed. “I do.” He doHe doubted him he  

“I want to know why Emma left. What explanation is so good that you forgave her and took her back. She walked out on you, mom. She walked out on us. What explains this?” He encompassed them with a gesture of his hand.

“Emma wanted to see the world, Henry.” Regina offered by way of explanation.

“How is that a good answer? While we were on our own, while you changed my diapers on your own and took me to the hospital in the middle of the night on your own and when the kids teased me at school, she was out in the world, having fun. How are you okay with this? How can you be okay with this?”

Regina sighed. “I’m not sure I am, Henry… Sometimes, it hurts still. But it was my choice and… here’s the thing: Emma- your mother- is not perfect. If I ever made you think that, I’m sorry. She’s not. But neither am I and we both know that because I never lied to you. She loves me, Evil Queen and all. That’s a lot to take in. And I love her, running tendencies, running foul at the mouth, Charming family and all. Which is also a lot to take in. I never wanted anyone perfect Henry. All this time, all I ever wanted was Emma, who is perfect for me…”

Emma clutched Regina’s hand tightly in hers. “I’m sorry, Henry. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry you grew up minus one parent when you could have had both all along. I’m so sorry.”

Henry sighed and stared at her, silently working through the information. “Did you take it out of your system?” Emma held his gaze as best as she could, trying not to flinch.

“Huh?” Emma queried, stunned. She was not sure what to expect but that had not been it.

“The going away, the seeing the world. I’m not sure you realise, but this is kind of a full time thing. The town, mom and I… us… it could get intense. There’s homework and there’s laundry and PTA meetings and the stuff that goes on with the town and I think I will want to throw a ball with you every once in a while…” He scratched his thigh and cleared his throat. “Intense… And you don’t seem to have much experience.” Henry studied her judiciously.

“What kind of ball?” Emma asked.

“Whichever.” He shrugged.

“Intense. I know, Henry. I get it.”

“Emma…” He stood and walked to her. “I like you. I really like you. I liked you even before I had met you. I think I may get to like you even more. But I promise you one thing…”

“Yes?”

“If you hurt my mom again, I’ll hunt you down. I’ll hurt you too.”

“Yes, Henry, I know.” And she did. And believed him and respected that.

Henry held out his hand to her for a hand shake. Emma took the proffered hand it and shook it. Carefully, she pulled Henry into a hug. Henry went into her arms slowly and in that surrender he reminded Emma so much of herself. Regina had always been so quick, so intense in her affections. This reluctance, this suspicion was all hers.  And all her fault too.  She closed her arms around him and slowly pulled him into her lap on the sofa. The tension abandoned Henry’s body and he wound his arms around her neck.  “I missed you.” He sobbed a little.

“I love you, Henry. So much. And I’m so sorry.”

In her seat, Regina studied them, tears threatening. Happy, relief filled tears. She closed her eyes trying to get some semblance of control. Of course, she thought, Snow had to take advantage of her momentary weakness and pressed a tissue into her hands with a knowing smile.

Regina refused to admit tears but she clutched the tissue tight in her hand. “You don’t seem surprised, Snow, dear. Or shocked or angry…”

“I’m not. I knew from the first time I saw Henry. He opened his eyes and…” Snow sighed at the memory. “I’ve only ever seen two pairs of eyes like his.”

“You are very gullible, Snow. It’s a leap. Even for you.” Regina objected, taken aback by the complete lack of resistance from Snow and the small hand tapping her shoulder in comfort.

“Gullible because of you, Regina.”

“Oh, sure. Blame it on me.”

“Thankful, not resentful, Regina. You taught me to believe in true love, remember? From the first day we met.”

“I fail to see the connection.” Well, no, that was not exactly true, but a long feud is not something you scrunch like useless paper and throw away.

“No you don’t. You and Emma made Henry because you have true love.”

Regina clutched the tissue tighter in her hand. Snow was incredibly smug about the whole business. She didn’t have to like it. “And how did you know that was the case? I don’t remember mentioning it.”

Snow gave it a moment and the smugness on her face was making Regina itchy. “You really think I couldn’t see the truth If I was looking for it with two hands and a flashlight, don’t you?”

“Generally,” Regina made a point of commenting, “Yes.”

“Regina,” Snow started slowly, invested in patience as if she were lecturing her fourth graders. “Emma broke the dark curse. _Your_ dark curse. Which, okay, we all expected her to do, some time or other, but she broke that dark curse and come away from it with red lipstick smeared all over her face. I know my child, Regina. I know her heart. And, believe it or not, I know yours… Besides: I’ve got scientific proof.” Regina rolled her eyes in challenge but made no comment. “Regina, we are frozen in time. Have been for the past twenty-nine years. And yet, you conceived a child and carried a pregnancy to term. A child who grew up. When we’re all frozen in time - Including you. Now tell, me: who is the only person in this town that time touched?” Snow smiled triumphantly. “So I can actually say that I knew the moment I realised you were pregnant. Science.”

Regina bristled but then, sighing softly, conceded the point. “So you knew all this time and you kept it a secret? You never told anyone? About Emma and Henry?”

“I told David… After Emma came back. I figured I had ruined your life enough by spilling one secret…” Snow’s face went dark at the memory of that day, of all the days and years that followed. “I was thankful too… For the way you… You could have gotten her back at any time. You only had to say that you were pregnant. You only had to say that you wanted her back.”

Regina gave her an appraising look. “There may be hope for you still, Snow.”

Snow, getting carried away, gave Regina a fierce hug, tight, hopeful, reminiscent. Regina pegged her with a rigid, almost malevolent look and self-consciously, Snow pulled away but not without patting Regina’s shoulder gently before. Together they looked at Emma with Henry, so grown up, in her lap, the two huddled together.

“I might as well confess, Regina.” Snow started through the tight knot in her throat.

“No, Snow, don’t confess. Don’t ruin this moment.” Regina replied, but it lacked bite.

“I fed him cookies. I completely spoiled his dinner.”

“You what?” Snow flinched but ploughed on.

“My first official act as a grandmother.” Snow cocked her head, playfully and hugged Regina by the shoulders again, unable to stop herself. An inauguration of sorts.”

“I don’t like it.” Regina huffed but as she didn’t move to try and rip Snow’s head off, she figured she was fairly safe.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to.” Snow giggled. “But we have to have at least one stereotype in this family, right?”

Regina leaned back as if defeated, a small glint of battle in her eyes, but Snow could see how tired she still looked. “I’ll get you some tea.” And walked off with a spring in her step that had not been there for decades.

When David walked in, sweaty, scratched, dishevelled and holding onto to a chicken that used to live in the yard of the Second Chance, Snow stopped her fussing in the kitchen and waited for him to take in the scene in their living room: Regina on an armchair, covered still with a blanket and Henry in Emma’s tight embrace.

“Congratulations, Grandpa, it’s a boy!” She greeted from behind the kitchen island.

David stood there for a moment, smile blooming in his face. He walked to Emma and Henry, the old hen still in his arms and pressed them both into a one sided hug. “Finally!”

“You knew?” Emma’s face fell.

“Your mom had some explaining to do, hiding the title deeds to the new place like she did. Forcing you to come home.”

Regina stared at Snow and her eyes were saying so many things, that Snow knew she owed them all answers. “I knew you wouldn’t ask her back. Even if this thing was going to eventually kill you, Regina. And you Emma, you were just hiding. You knew your place is back here, among us crazies…” She did a little loop with her finger next to her forehead.

“Speak for yourself.” Regina huffed and Snow smiled.

“It was time Emma came back. But, stubborn ass that she is, I had to get… creative.”

Emma snorted. “So you lied?”

Snow blushed deep and red. “Not lied… as such. I just didn’t answer questions you didn’t ask.”

“I see…” Emma commented, David’s arm around her and the hen clucking softly. David stood and approached Regina as if calculating the probability of an attack.

“May I?” He asked Regina.

“What?” She asked, eyeing him with suspicion.

“This.” And he side-hugged her too, pulling her tight but still gentle. “Thank you. I’ve got a grandson. Thank you.”

Regina huffed in fake annoyance but she ended up raising her hand to awkwardly tap David in the back. “Is this chicken really necessary for the family reunion?” She asked not trusting the hen and its beady eyes and greedy little beak way too close to her fingers.

“Don’t mind her, Penny.” He murmured to the hen. “She’s just a little grumpy little queen.”

**...   ...   ...**

**Two months later**

 

Emma put her foot to the metal and zipped through the streets until she came to a screeching, skidding and, quite frankly dangerous halt by the riverbed under the troll bridge. She wondered briefly if she had broken the suspension on the cruiser- again- by driving off road and what snippy remark Regina would leave on the margins of the paperwork she would inevitably have to fill in so that she could get it repaired. It would all be easier if she could focus on Regina’s lessons. Pooffing herself from here to there was still a risk Regina was not willing to let her take. But those lessons were excruciating: Emma was in a permanent state of arousal, senses alert to every single one of Regina’s small touches, to her perfume, to the way her hands moved and the way the air moved around her. Her progress was definitely a painstaking process and though Regina seemed to be aware of it and the places in her mind Emma kept on going to during those lessons, she was not doing anything to alleviate the tension.

She saw Regina already at the site of the new disturbance, dark hair swirling in the wind generated by the micro weather event of thunderclouds and midget hurricane. Emma could smell the magic in the air and it was not Regina’s. It wasn’t benign or reactive like Regina’s. It was deliberate and malefic and threatening even if, compared to the event that had brought down the Second Chance, it was a simple, small thing.

To her immense relief, Regina was waiting for her to the side. She had not gone in, like in the first few days of them working together, without waiting for Emma. It turned out that, when they worked together- truly, hands clasped, energy and magic flowing between them, feeding of each other’s, there was not much to it. Regina would direct their magic and Emma was like a little battery powering Regina’s. She hadn’t seen Regina swaying and sweating as before since they had started working together. And that was an immense relief to her.

She approached Regina at a run, eyes on the dark clouds. “You waited for me!” she acknowledged and it was almost a praise. Regina had been so used to doing it all on her own that it had taken her some time to get used to having someone there for her, someone with magic of their own that could make things so much easier.

“I did. And I would wager that you broke the suspension on the cruiser again.”

Emma shrugged and smiled at Regina. “Probably. You can punish me later.” Regina blushed and, forget sunrises in the Grand Canyon, this was just about the prettiest thing Emma had ever seen. “Now, shall we, Madam Mayor?” She asked offering her hand to Regina.

Regina took the proffered hand and stared down the shadow starting to form on the ground, the advent of the small portal that would open if it was left unchecked. Emma felt Regina taking a deep breath and knew that, again, that thing was feeding off Regina’s magic energy. She pushed at it with her magic, creating a shield that protected Regina with all her might, trying to stand between the thing and Regina. If she never saw Regina as depleted of magic and energy as the day the Second Chance came down, it would still be too soon.

.

Regina felt the move and was thankful for it. Emma had been doing that since they had started working together and though it had aggravated her in the beginning, she was warming up to it, forging a new bond of trust between them.

Together, they started the spell they had designed between them. It made for a far sturdier patching up job than simply closing the portals as they happened- as she had been doing before Emma- because it seemed to shore up the fabric of Storybrooke. As the spell swirled from their joint hands, it pushed at the clouds, the thunder, the insipient portal opening and pushed them into the ground, sealing it, pushing away the threat.

It was not definitive. Everyone in town had had hopes that, by working together, the two of them could have easily defeated whatever it was that was still trying to tear Storybrooke apart, but as Emma had so eloquently put it at the town meeting, “Yeah, right.” But it was… better. The events were becoming less frequent, weaker. Regina was less tired all the time. And she was no longer scared that the day would come when she would lose the battle.

.

Emma held Regina for a little longer that was strictly necessary but then again, she took every opportunity to do so. Regina was parsimonious with her touches, with her displays of affection. And Emma got it, she did: they shared a son but also eleven years of abandonment between them. It was a lot of baggage to drag along at the beginning a relationship. Not that she was going to surrender.

When Regina pulled away, her hand remained on Emma’s naked arm and she didn’t move very far.

“How are you feeling?” Emma asked, anxious, as she always was. She’d had to give Regina time to learn to work with her but Regina had to give Emma time to learn not to worry so much all the time.

“Fine. I’m absolutely fine, Emma.” She gave her Sheriff time to see that for herself. “We’ll see you at two thirty. Don’t be late Emma. The Registrar is waiting for us.”

Emma gave her a smile as wide as her face. “I won’t. I’ll see you and Henry there.”

Regina looked at the Sheriff’s cruiser with a sceptic look. “Not if you still have to take care of that heap of junk.”

Emma laughed. “Colour me motivated. Do I get a kiss as incentive?”

She could see Regina preparing to poof herself into her office but then she simply waited, her head cocked at an angle. “Are you going to be asking every time or are you going to take matters into your own hands?”

Emma’s heart thundered in her belly. They had been dancing around them getting together for two months now and, fine, they had kissed a couple of times –with tongue (which Emma hadn’t been so excited about since high school) and there had been plenty of kisses on cheeks (which melted her heart and left her weak at the knees, and damn, how did a kiss on the cheek make you actually tremble unless you were in a Jane Austen novel?). It seemed Regina was challenging her. She looked at the woman standing in front of her, hand still in her arm. She didn’t want to overstep the limits Regina had laid down but, dammit, it was a challenge- the light in Regina’s eyes was pure challenge.

“What happened to the troublemaker I knew and―” Regina didn’t finish the sentence because Emma was on her, more eagerness than finesse, her mouth all over Regina’s, clumsy, feisty and absolutely unstoppable.

Regina held on to Emma as if she had been the one steady object in a shaking world and the girl she had loved made a swift appearance in that clumsy beginning but then became all woman, all confidence as the movements of her lips slowed, as her tongue got more deliberate, stroking, inviting, challenging, stealing her breath away. Her Emma, the Emma who had never known any trouble not worth getting into was walking deliberately into trouble now. Because that’s what they were: trouble.

Regina held on to it for dear life, her heart swishing, swishing lightly in her chest caught between fear and excitement, moving through those emotions silently, delicately. The time had come to be brave. When Emma’s mouth released hers, lips plump and shinny and wet and looked at her, expectantly, Regina took a deep breath, feeling her heart still swishing, swishing.

“God, Romeo, you kiss by the book…” Emma whispered against her forehead, making Regina notice that her hand was still in Emma’s naked arm and she didn’t want to ever let go.

“Shakespeare? Oh be still my beating heart…” Regina quipped. Emma gave her that brilliant smile that Regina had missed like the air she breathed. “I expect to be picked up at eight. Promptly, Princess.”

“Alright. Where are you taking me?”

“Nuh uh. You’re taking me. I don’t care where.”

“I am?” And then “You don’t?” She leaned into Regina and kissed her again.

“You didn’t ask for permission…” Regina whispered softly biting her tingling bottom lip.

“I have a precedent.”

“You do…” Regina agreed. “Don’t be late, Emma. For either.”

“I won’t.” Emma answered into the air where Regina had disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

…   …   …

Regina had a strict policy about mechanics: if it could be fixed without magic, than it was going to the shop. Something about jobs and economy. But the suspension on the old cruiser was shattered and she had two events to attend today and she still needed to shower, change and, maybe, put some makeup on. The occasion called for it. So she made an impulse decision: a quick wiggle of her fingers and boom: the suspension was miraculously fixed- someone out there was looking out for her, making sure she caught a break. She drove the bug past the plot where the new Second Chance was already nearing completion. Her dad was there, directing workmen and carting a plank of wood. Emma stopped abruptly effectively making everyone stop their tasks to see the Sheriff stepping out of the car. “Dad!” She yelled. “What are you doing? You know today is an important day.”

“There’s two hours to go, still.” He smiled and pulled her into a hug.

“Yeah! And only one toilet. Go home, shower. Don’t make me late.”

“Promise!”

Emma spared him one final stare down, a quake-in-your-boots, brutal gaze and then was off towards the station where she dutifully filled in her paperwork about the incident. The temptation was there to not do it, but the thought of getting on Regina’s bad books was not one she was willing to contemplate when she had spent the last two months trying to prove she was trustworthy. She was not about to blacken her stellar record just because of what day it was- the car suspension was already stretching it. With Regina, it was all about proving she could be trusted to not walk away.

She took a deep breath, said a little prayer that  nothing else would happen, that it wouldn’t rain on her parade and then got into the Bug and drove home to shower and grab a bite to eat because her stomach was full of butterflies that needed settling.

…  

Bless Snow, she had a batch of warm chocolate chip cookies waiting. Emma came in and walked to her mom and gave her a hug, tight as she could and just stayed there, enjoying the moment. “Thanks for forcing me to come back, Mom.”

Snow smiled and gave into the warm hug. “You’re welcome, Emma. Any time.” She winked and it was good natured and easy in a way that things had never been between them. “Now go and shower. Dad will be in any minute now and he’ll hog the bathroom. You really want to get in there first or we will all be late.”

Emma stuffed a cookie in her mouth and heeded sound advice. David had a thing about his hair and for someone with little more than broom bristles, he managed to take longer to sort it than Emma with her curling iron.

…  

Emma had her stomach tied in knots as the whole Charming family waited outside the Registrar’s office. It had had been like herding cats but the three of them had made it early, well before Regina and Henry.

Ruby offered her a sympathetic smile as Emma paced, but that could well be the afterglow. The Kerry Washington lookalike was sitting next her, looking luminous, loved up and not the least bit intimidated by Granny and her furious knitting needles. As it turned out, when her mind was not being fogged by Emma’s _jedi shit_ as Ruby nicknamed it, Katherine was an articulated, assertive and ferocious lawyer who took no crap from anyone- especially Granny. The introduction had been as nerve wrecking as you could expect: Granny was jealous and pissing at metaphorical trees trying to assert her influence over Ruby. Katherine had been a powerhouse but not shied away from crossing ts and doting is which had put a lovely happy skip in Ruby’s walk that Emma had never- ever- seen before. Katherine had been introduced to Storybrooke and survived it. Emma liked it. Emma liked it that the world was coming to Storybrooke. It made up for Storybrooke not going to the world.

…  

The sound of Regina’s heels clicking on the marbled floor released Emma from her tension. Regina had not changed her mind. That was all that mattered. Emma walked to meet her by the glass door and when Regina finally made it in, she gave up the ghost of composure and threw her arms wide around Regina and Henry, pulling them both into her. “Are you sure you didn’t change your mind, kid?”

Henry nodded furiously, his smile beaming, illuminating the blue-green eyes he had so clearly gotten from her. “Okay… alright then.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Henry put his hand on her arm and her nerves settled.

“Yeah… Yeah, I am.” She stared up from Henry’s smiling face to Regina’s. The smile she saw there was soft and it spoke of peace and contentment. It settled her nerves and gave her peace. She kissed Regina’s lips softly, almost chaste. Almost. “Thank you.” She whispered close to Regina’s skin and felt the shiver that ran down that skin she had missed so much. “For giving me this.”

Regina cleared her throat, visibly affected and the secretary stood and ushered them into the office. The Registrar, a woman of about fifty and a benevolent expression in her unlined face showed Emma and Regina the two chairs in front of her mahogany desk. In front of her she had an official looking book of long, wide pages, open to an entry of birth.

“Welcome, Madam Mayor, Sheriff.” Emma’s skin crawled with anticipation and nerves. Regina took her hand and the simple touch relaxed Emma. “This is Henry’s Entry of Birth. I understand, Regina, that you would like to make an amendment to it.”

“Yes. I… We…” Regina corrected herself with a nod of the head that encompassed the whole room of people standing next to and behind her. “Would like to complete that birth certificate now.”

The Registrar really had a beautiful smile and it opened again when she took an elaborate quill from her drawer and tipped it into an old fashioned pot of ink. “What is the name of the other parent?”

“I am… I mean, it’s my name.” Emma’s voice struggled through the chokehold the tears had on her throat. “Emma of the Summerlands.” She felt Regina’s thumb caressing her back of her hand, offering strength and comfort.

“Emma Swan of the Summerlands.” Henry pointed out.

Emma nodded and the Registrar looked at the book where the empty entry read _father_. “Well, that won’t do, then. With a wave of her hand over the page, the word _father_ was replaced with the word _mother_. Then she set the quill to the book and wrote in equal amounts precise and elaborate calligraphy:

_Emma Swan of the Summerlands._

Emma broke down in tears then, happy tears. It was a piece of paper only, it made her no more, no less Henry’s mother than she had been so far. There was no magic in the paper, she told herself repeatedly, trying to sooth her frayed nerves. But there was. There really was: here was a piece of paper that announced to world that she had a son. That she was a mother. Here was a piece of paper that told the world that she was not alone. That Henry was not alone. She looked at that piece of paper- and later at the extracted copy the Registrar had given them- and her heart soared. Magicless papers have a magic all of their own, specially official papers, that give you security and a sense of belonging to the people you love the most.

…   …   …

Regina was an absolute nerve wreck. She should not have allowed herself to make such a fuss over this date. She had craved it since she had woken up in Emma’s bed after she had been pulled out of that deadly portal. And now, here she was, her hands shaking so badly she couldn’t fasten her drop hearings. She shouldn’t have built this up in her mind. She should have just stayed at the table with all the Charmings. It had been a celebration. She should have just postponed the date or not even think about it. This was too… official. She could have held onto Emma’s hand at the end of the night and brought her home. That would have been so much simpler, less loaded.

She felt Henry’s hands stilling hers and wondered how he had gotten into the room- into the house- without her noticing. He was supposed to be with his insufferable grandparents and now, here he was, closing her earring and adjusting her scarf, with that contemplative look he’d had all his life, as if he knew the secrets to everything.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Henry?”

He gave her a reassuring smile. “I am. I love you two very much and it’s about time.” He nodded and hugged her tightly. “Be happy, mom. You have waited for this for so long…”

Regina nodded. She wasn’t capable of more at that moment. “Now, Grandma is waiting for me downstairs and Emma… Ma...” He looked up expectantly at Regina until she nodded and smiled. “Ma is on her way to pick you up and you have to get ready.”

He hugged her tightly and just then the doorbell rang. “That’s Emma.” Regina whispered, nerves shattered.

“Mom, you look beautiful, calm down.” Regina breathed deeply and nodded. “Go get her, Tiger!” Henry cheered and that simple sentence made Regina settle. “I’ll get the door. Just give me a minute so Grandma and I can get going. I don’t wanna cramp your style.”

…

Emma had second guessed each of her wardrobe choices. In the end, she had opted for a red fitted dress she had managed to summon from her closet in Boston, with no small relief when she saw it materialising on her bed undamaged and unscathed.

She was checking her smoky makeup in the mirror when a knock on the door startled her. “Yeah?”

David made his way in, something hiding behind his back. Oh god, let it not be a corsage, she hoped. “You look beautiful, Emma.”

She relaxed and looked at the mirror, studying her reflection. “I do?” David smiled at her reflection with his easy affection. “I messed up so bad, dad, I need this to go right… I need to…” She pulled at her dress, suddenly nervous again. “I can’t… be me… I just can’t…”

“Emma... At the cost of sounding sappy…” Emma groaned internally. “Let the past be in the past. Make sure you have learned from it and move on.”

“Dad… Is this one of those Charmingisms you and mom come up with to make yourselves feel better?” She felt bad for it immediately but unringing bells and all that.

David squared his shoulders and his billboard smile faltered for a second. “Maybe… What I meant is… don’t try to pay penance for something that Regina has forgiven you for so long ago. That maybe she has never held against you.”

Emma stood absolutely still. “She deserved better.”

“Yes, she did.” Her father whispered softly. “And I know you don’t have much patience for self indulgence. You have pointed that out to us many times over the years. But Emma… Regina and Henry have forgiven you. Join that club. Look forward, don’t look back.”

“There’s that bumper sticker talk again.” Emma sighed.

David pulled what he’d been hiding behind his back: a small blue balloon that proclaimed _It’s a boy_ that floated above his head as he released the string. “Focus on what you have now, Emma, not on what you lost. You, too, deserved better. If we had been better to you, if Snow and I hadn’t been so self involved... things could have been so different.” He offered Emma the balloon and she closed her arms around his broad shoulders, suddenly overwhelmed. David let her have a moment and then pulled her back, the balloon string still clutched tight in his hand. He took a tissue from the dresser and carefully dabbed at her face, leaving the makeup untouched. “Now, go and get her, Emma. We are all in a hurry for this happy ending.”

…   …   …

The problem with a place the size of an egg such as Storybrooke, was privacy. As in: there was none.  But there was a beach that no one seemed to go to. The benefit of a place such as Storybrooke was that no one thought twice about using a little magic to help a cause. Case in point: the table and chairs right there on the beach, making full use of the sunset.

Emma held out her hand to Regina as if they had been making their way down the foyer of an expensive restaurant, looking proud as a peacock about having the prettiest woman on her arm and a date with their _finally_.

Regina was surprised when her heels didn’t sink into the sand. A look at Emma told her all she needed to know: there was magic here too, the ground beneath her feet steady and solid. Just like Emma’s hand on the small of her back. Emma pulled the chair for her. The chair did not wobble or sink. There was just firm ground under them.

Emma sat in front of her and their glasses were filled from a wine bottle that floated in the air. Emma picked up her glass and looked at her, like she used to all those years ago in her garage: like Regina was the sun and the moon and the stars to her.

The sun was beginning to set and there were candles in jars on their table and the ground was solid, as solid as Emma had been since that day outside the shelter she had plunged to her death and been rescued by the love of her life.

“You’ve been practicing.” Regina commented.

A plate was deposited by invisible hands in front of her and the fragrance of the food enveloped her like a hug. “I have.” Emma reached out across the small table and held her hand, her fingers tracing soft lines on Regina’s skin.

Emma saw Regina’s eyes breaming with tears. Without letting go of her hand, she stood and knelt before Regina, her free hand softly on that soft thigh, tracing soothing lines. “I’m sorry for having bailed on you. On both of you. I’m so very sorry for that. I’m sorry that I can’t rewind time and do things over. But I can do better now, Regina. I can be a partner and a mom. I can be a wife, if you let me. I can do better.”

Regina was angry at herself. She didn’t want to cry because their lives were not to be confused with daytime television. She didn’t want to manipulate nor did she need or want any further apologies. She just wanted to move forward. It was about time. Emma had been driving her crazy with the apologies and the regrets and all she wanted was to be pressed against a wall and kissed or, better yet, fucked, because, damned, she had missed Emma like she would the salt in her food. She cleared her throat and pushed Emma back, forcefully.  “Enough, Emma. Enough, now.”

Emma looked up at her, looking terrified and confused but still not moving from her crouching at Regina’s feet. Regina knew exactly why: Emma was going to take whatever she had to dish out because it was her way to try and deserve this, them. And that was not as alright as Regina had imagined when she had been pregnant and alone. “Listen to me, Emma. I have only one rule for the rest of our lives.”

“One?” Emma’s voice sounded as if it had been ripped away from her throat with hot irons.

“One.” Regina was done waiting for Emma to be done with the guilt tripping. All she wanted now was a pair of arms around her and a promise of tomorrow. “No more regrets.”

“Regina…”

“No. You’re done now. You’ve been on this penance of yours for all this time and all I want, Emma, is to have you touch me. All I want is to...” She hesitated for a moment, lost for words, wanting everything. “All I want―”

Emma straightened up and her hands went from limp on Regina’s legs to frantic on her face, holding her, diving in for a kiss that was all heat and tongue and saliva that went to her head like the wine she had not sipped.

“That. All I want is that…” Regina murmured, her lipstick messy from the kiss, her lips plumped and her eyes bright from the heat of it. “Just like that.”

“I can do that...” Emma murmured against Regina’s mouth, red lipstick smeared between them, her breath hitching. “I can do that...” Regina hummed and god, that smeared lipstick was doing things to her Emma had only ever felt with Regina. “We can do that.”

 

 

The end.

 

 


End file.
